Who's on 44...

SuperBowl XLIV, that is...

So the Bowns will not make it yet again....

But The Who will....

And I can handle that:)

See ya in Miami....

From my living room....

Open Apology

To all my Facebook friends...

All 101 of you...

I love you...all of you...

For being my friend...

Lord knows, I need all the friends I can get.

So what am I apologizing for?...

For totally and consistently ignoring all your requests to send smiles and join causes and play games and join your Mafia wars and beat your high Bejeweled Blitz score and get rich in FarmVille...

I would beat your score you know...in no time at all..I kick butt at those games...

Because once I start to play, I play and play and play all day and all night until I do have the most fertile farm or get the golden nugget...

I may even miss a few days of work to beat the high score if I need to...

Yeah, I get addicted pretty quick...

Which is why I reject your invitations to play....

It really is nothing personal...

But I learned my lesson that one time when I was invited to try a line...

And keep up with the rest of the line-cutters....

Not sure if it is addiction or competitiveness that makes it hard for me to give up things once I start...

But I am not starting again...so quit asking, okay?

Unless, of course, you like rejection.

In that case, ask away:)

The Closer...

Thanksgiving was awesome...

Well, not perfectly awesome because CareBear and KB were in Michigan visiting KB's family and since they have not figured out how to be on two places at once....

LDBoy and his housemates hosted. And what gracious hosts they were...

I made a couple of deserts and applesauce and sweet potato casserole Wednesday.

The plan was to get up early Thursday and get the Turkeys all ready and head to Akron in time to turn roasters on and make green bean casserole and gravy and pudding pie.

But instead I overslept....

Note to self - no matter how bad that earache hurts, avoid taking nightime cold meds at midnight when you want to get up at 6:00 am to prepare for a holiday dinner.


So I just gathered everything I needed and headed to the big house...(aka big stone
mansion LDBoy and housemates are renting in West Akron).

That ended up being the best decision of the week.

When I walked in LDBoy asked which kitchen I wanted to use. I opted for the basement...Great decision...I am on a roll....

So I set up near the industrial sized oven with the industrial sized fridge and freezer behind me and the awesome industrial sized counterspace.

And for the next three hours I sipped on wine and listened to holiday music piped in from somewhere...

And prepared turkeys and casseroles and desserts....and used the oven they had never even turned on before....

And NinjaAnnie was working in the upstairs kitchen making apple pie and pumpkin roll and cauliflower casserole and a mac n cheese casserole...

While LDBoy and RJ and Spike catered to our every need and kept or wine glasses topped off and set a beautiful table....

Me: Who folded the napkins?
Spike: Me.
Me: When and where did you learn to do that?
Spike: Five minutes ago - I googled it.

And after I was done cooking, I had my choice of powder rooms to freshen up in...

Hmmm, the jacuzzi room or the party shower room...it was a tough choice, especially sine I was short on time and could not enjoy the facilities as they were meant to be enjoyed...

When the guests arrived, the hosts made me proud. I love those guys.

Fiends and family together for a beautiful Thanksgiving Dinner...

Thank you, LDBoy, RJ, and Spike.

We'll be back for Christmas:)

I may just stay after Christmas...

Take my time checking out all the amenities...

Move on in...

I'll be discreet, you'll never know I'm there....

Especially since Boa and I get along ok...

LDboy: Ok, guys...the relatives have been here 3 hours now.
Spike: Yeah, how do we get them to leave?
LDBoy: RJ, what are you doing?
RJ: Hey, has anyone seen Boa?
Grandma: Who's Boa?
RJ: The 7-ft snake that was in that tank by the wall...
Grandpa: He got out????
Spike: Calm down everyone...he's here on the couch.
Grandma: It's way past my bedtime...
Grandpa: We need to go...
RJ: He looks hungry...
Dad: I'll get the car.

Boa, the closer.

Happy Thanksgiving!

I am Thankful for so many things...

Today and Everyday...

If you know me at all you know that my kids are my most precious blessing...

I am also thankful for my extended family....

And for my many friends....

My friends are the family that I have found along the way:)

But rather than get all mushy - I'll leave that to the potatoes and applesauce -

I just want to say....

May your stuffing be tasty

May your turkey be plump,

May your potatoes and gravy

Have never a lump.

May your yams be delicious

And your pies take the prize,

And may your Thanksgiving dinner

Stay off your thighs!

Happy Thanksgiving !!!

Weekend Past Part II

If you read my previous post, you know I did not do a bit of work Saturday....

Which means I really needed to get into the office Sunday to avoid missing the "by the time you get in Monday" deadline I had set for myself.

Note to self: quit setting deadlines that depend on network connectivity and other things outside of your control....

Such as three hour visits to the ER.

Thank you, G-man.

Yeah - football IS over.

Who would have though indoor soccer could get so violent...

G-man joined to soccer teams this session.

One played at 9:00 AM Sunday Morning. I met G-man at the field as he spent the night at a friend's.

And I sorta got the feeling that if he would have gotten hurt during that 9:00 AM game, he would have felt no pain.

He looked as if he had been up playing ping-pong most of the night.

After that game, I headed to work and then met him back at the field for a 5:00 PM game.

I debated missing that game as I was rolling along pretty good at work.

But after 5 hours of Sunday at the office, I figured I deserved a break.

I got a longer break than expected.

A few minutes into the game and G-Man collided with another player. I did not see the collision as I was at the other end of the field and some people just do not understand the logistics of sitting on the bleachers rather than standing in front of them and blocking everyone else's view.

In fact, I did not even know it involved G-man, because the next time I saw him - about 2 seconds after I heard the loud crash and felt the vibration of bodies hitting the glass walls - he was still playing the field.

And then I saw the ref tell him to leave the field - or at least that is what he seemed to be saying. I am thinking he got carded for playing so rough.

I head down to see what was going on - as he is heading to the concession stand.

Me: What happened?

Him: Nothing.

Me: Why'd you come out of the game?

Him: The ref told me to.

Me: You're bleeding....

Him: Oh yeah. He said I was bleeding.

Me: Are you okay?

Him: Yeah, I'm fine.

Me: Your nose is bleeding and your lip looks split.

Him: Yeah, I need ice from the concession stand.

Me: Did you hit your head on the wall.

Him: I don't know.

Me: You don't know??? I know you have a hard head, but didn't you feel it hit.

Him: What???? I need to get back in there.

And with that he went back into the field.

Not to play - thank you Coach Rick.

Oh he did try to play again, but Coach pulled him right back off. Of which he still has no recollection.

After the game, he was pretty quiet but said he was fine and was going to heat to Life teen at the church.

I followed him because I was not so sure he was fine.

He made it to the church ok and I headed back to work.

That was a mistake. The network had slowed down to a creepy crawl.

It took a good half hour for my system to boot up and then I my cursor was having a tough time keeping up with my 5 word per minute lightning fast keyboarding skills.

Within an hour I was so frustrated I was contemplating just shutting down and heading home...

Then the call came.

This is NurseC. I help at Life Teen and I am heading to the ER with G-man. He is not right. Tell me something I don't know.

Do you want to meet us there? Contemplation over...I'm outta here - thank you G-Man.

Three hours later, a CT scan, an x-ray, a prescription for an antibiotic for the split lip, a visit from a priest in case he needed last rites (not funny, Father Andy)...

Your son is fine, Phillipia. It is just a concussion...

The x-ray showed that nothing is broken in his face.
The CT scan found his pea-size brain and it is in tact.
Give him a few days to come to his senses - call us if he doesn't...
Oh...and you can wake him up every couple hours just to annoy him if you want...

Oh, it was a fun couple hours after that,

Ames and I took turns messing with ConcussionBoy.

Me: Wasn't that a great dinner before the game?

ConcussionBoy: What dinner?

Me: I made your favorite shrimp and pierogies.

Ames: And I made you homemade chocolate chip cookies.

ConcussionBoy: Really?

Me: What did you do with the $50 dollars I gave you for gas money.

ConcussionBoy: I don't know...did I get gas???

Ames: You always get gas...

ConcussionBoy: Did you give me lunch money for this week, too?

Me: Don't tell me you lost it already...

ConcussionBoy: Did we win the game?

Me: you scored, remember? for the other team....

ConcussionBoy: No way!

Ames: They kicked you out of the game.

ConcussionBoy: Were you there?

Ames: The whole time.

Back to reality....

Weekend Past Part I

I have been extremely busy at work.

There is so much that needs done before the end of the year.

I have been working late every night and more than a few hours on the weekends.

I was suppose to take a few vacation days this month, but there is so much to do that it would not be a very relaxing vacation...

So I'll just put those off til next month - or next year....

But in between work I do find time to relax and/or spend time with the family.

Some of that relaxing time is with the family.

Some of the family time is relaxing.

Saturday afternoon CareBear and KB visited with my granddog Taz and we watched the Buckeyes kick Michigan's Blue Butt...Go Bucks!!! Sorry, KB - not!

And CareBear and I baked mint brownies...

Twice...

We were not paying attention when we whipped up the first two batches and mixed up the amounts of oil and water....

I am sure the two bottles of wine we were sharing had absolutely nothing to do with our little mix-up.

Then we made some cheesecake.

We mixed some mini chocolate chips in some Philladelphia Cream Cheesecake Filling and spooned it into Keebler Graham Cracker crusts.

And we did it right the first time.

Yay us.

It was a Mom and daughter bonding Saturday afternoon.

As KB watched from the living room, shaking his head.

But he did eat the cheesecake.

And he liked it.

As did my Mom and Dad.

Mom and Dad joined us for dinner.

I am lucky in that my parents are still fairly healthy and can still drive short distances - or long distances if they are going somewhere they want to be - like a church service on the other side of the state.

Neither have symptoms of dimentia yet...

Although when you meet my Dad for the first time, it is easy to confuse his storytelling personality for a progressive case of dimentia. He likes to tell you the same story over and over again and again just in case you did not get what he was saying the first 60 times.

But that's okay; we have learned to deal with his story telling in small doses. We just take turns listening and acting like it is the first time we are hearing it.

Because no matter how many times you tell him you heard the story before, he does not hear that and feels the need to re-tell it - over and over again.

Yeah, that explains why CareBear and I were imbibing earlier in the day. We were preparing for family time:)

My parents mean well and we love them and enjoy their company - especially when fully loaded.

Not a healthy year

My ex-mom-in-law was supposed to have open heart surgery yesterday.

But she is so frail her doctor will not risk it.

Sadly, he gave her under 6 months to live as her heart is only working at 10%.

She is not my favorite ex in-law because....well, she raised the ex and he is a lot like her.

But she is grandma to my kids and she has always been good to them and to me in her own way.

I know the next few months are going to be rough on the kids and their dad.

Mom was a nurse and a stickler for healthy eating habits and a germaphobe.

Unfortunately, if she could have brought herself to eat "better" (i.e, more) in the last few months and put on some weight, she would probably be able to have the needed surgery and recover to spend a few more years with her family.

I am at the opposite end of the spectrum. I enjoy food and try not to worry about the calories or fat count. If I did, I would probably be in much better shape - although I do have round down pretty good.

I struggle to stay away from chips and salty foods because of my BP, but I do not always win that struggle. Ruggles chips and french onion dip...mmmmm....I am getting a craving just thinking about them.

A co-worker has been in the hospital for over a week now with what the doctors originally diagnosed as pneumonia.

She is on the road to recovery, thankfully.

She is a good person and a joy to work with...

However, she too is a germaphobe.

Which could be why her body had so much trouble fighting off the infection that decided to invade it...

Lately, everytime I think of her and mom, I want to suggest that maybe they could have taken this doc's advice....

Doc backs nose picking

But I don't...

Because...

This is probably a good a time as any to keep my thoughts to myself.

For my security...

I love my mail.com account.

I have had it for years.

Before I was Phillipia....

Before I knew what blogging was...

Before Yahoo and AIM and GMail were popular (or at least before I knew about them)...

It was customized for me, by me (FMBM)...

Yes, I love my mail.com account.

MOST of the time...

But not when it logs me out for no gd good reason other than....

You have been logged in for 5 hours so we are logging you out for security reasons - to ensure that noone else can access your account...to log back in, click HERE....

Mind you, I have not been INACTIVE for five hours, I have just been logged in....

But here's the real kicker...

When I click HERE to log back in...

My account name and password do not need to be re-entered....

They are staring me in the face....

Account name: 5hourlager Password:******

So anyone smart enough to click Sign In can get to all of my email....

Real secure mail.com....

Real secure...

I love to read....

...as you know if you know me at all.

I love to read your blog posts.

I love to read mysteries...

and historical romances ....

and short stories...

It is not too often that I cannot find something within easy reach that I will enjoy reading...

If I cannot find a damn thing I would read...

Then I must be in the....


Thanks, J, for sharing:)

At least we have the Cavs....

Yeah...

You know what I mean...

Good looks does not a good QB make...damn.

I left work early for this???

Well not early - after being there 11 hours, and finally on a really good roll the last 3 of them, I decided I would call it a night so I could get home in times to see the Browns...

LOSE....

AGAIN...

To the RAVENS....

UGH!!!!

On another note...good looks does a good officer of the law make:)

Yesterday, I got to Life Teen camp to attend Mass and give G-Man a ride home.

Well, I was sitting in my car texting another camper's Mom to see how close to camp she was...

And as I am texting I get out of the car, press the lock button, slam the door and immediately realize my keys are still in there...

Both sets...

Although the second set would not do me much good no matter where it was.

It went through the washer the other day and is bent totally useless.

And there is the first set, still in the ignition.

I figured I might as well attend Mass and pray that by the time Mass is over my door will be magically (or miraculously) unlocked.

No such luck (or miracle).

I thing Jesus was too busy in the emergency room with the camper who fell over backwards and busted his head open....

After one of the camp coordinators tried with no luck to unlock the door, I was forced to put in a distress call to the local PD. No, I did not call 911, oh ye of lil faith.

But I gotta tell ya, the Moreland Hills PD are fast (as in responsive) and hot (as in hot).

It took them no time to get to my car and just a little more time to get me in.

What nifty tools they have for forced entry:)

Oooops...

Even the Boss makes mistakes...




I have to believe he was hoping if he said it enough, he would be back in Ohio...

'Cuz who in hell can mistake Michigan for Ohio? (sorry, K)

Weekend Humor...

I dropped G-Man off for Life-Teen retreat last evening.

So I thought it would be a good time to share some classic church humor.

You have probably seen these before, but every time I run across them they make me smile...

Kids' prayers overheard....

Our Father, Who does art in heaven, Harold is His name. Amen.

Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time like I am.

And forgive us our trash baskets as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets.

After the christening of his baby brother in church, Jason was sobbing on the ride home.

Dad: What's wrong, Jason.
Jason: That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, but I want to stay with you guys.

A Sunday school teacher was walking with her class to a church service.

Teacher: And why should we be quiet in church?
Smartest lil girl in the class: Because people are sleeping.

A mom was making pancakes for her sons, Kevin 5, and Ryan 3. The boys were arguing over who would get the first pancake.

Mom: If Jesus were sitting here, He would say,'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.
Kevin: Ryan, you be Jesus!

A dad was walking on the the beach with his four-year-old son when they came across a dead seagull.

Son: Daddy, what happened to him?
Dad: He died and went to Heaven.
Son: So why's he here? Did God throw him back down?

I'll have the sampler....

Friday I headed down to Kent with a friend to listen to Dinosaurus Rex.

They were playing at the Outpost.

As always it was a great time.

I also enjoy listening to Third Class

I also like long island iced teas....

Where did that come from? I better back up.

Before heading down to Kent, I promised myself I would not drink too much. My ulcer has been acting up a little and it is a long drive back.

Well, that promise went right out the window after reading the mail.. (thank you Father Dick)

I started out with a Long Island Iced Tea...

Barman: Do you want bottom shelf or top shelf?
Me: It is definitely a top shelf day....
Barman: So...Absolut top shelf...
Me: Its a Grey Goose Night...
Barman: Okay, then.

And then I had another...

And then I decided I should probably eat something....

Barman: Can I get you another LIIT?
Me: Not yet, probably not tonight...Could I get a sampler platter?
Customer: Too bad they do not have a sampler platter of drinks...
Me: Oh, they do...it's called a LIIT...
Customer: Good point. Bartender, I'll have one of those...

I should get a commission for the number of LIITs I talked people into trying that night:)

There was a band that played in between DR and TC that made me glad I had the LIIT.

We decided the lead was just trying too hard to make it all about him and his long hair to do the band any good.

After TC played, I was thinking it was time to head home....

But, I really want to make sure I am sober because Brimtucky police can be real annoying...

Just as I was trying to decide - should I stay or should I go????

Pearl Jam came on...okay, not the Pearl Jam.

But they sure sounded pretty damn good.

And they looked pretty damn good too.

Good ear and eye candy:)

They are Lock 4 and are a pretty good cover band - if you like Pearl Jam, Creed, Seven Mary Three, Red Hot Chili Peppers.....

I got me a coffee (not Irish this time) and a tall cold one (H2O) and enjoyed another hour of sobering up....

Dear Anonymous....

WTF?????

You can stop now...

I am rejecting your comments that are filled with links to ads about Viagara and sex toys....

And NO I am not clicking on the ads!!!!!

Seriously!!!!

Oh Look...

Ads for divorce lawyers are popping up in my AdSense ads...

Thank you Father Dick.

Wonder what tomorrow will bring?

Hopefully ads for obtaining free marijuana....

Purely for medicinal purposes of course...

Or, maybe toys...ya know...toys for those of us too smart to have a dick in our lives...

Open Letter to Father Dick....

Dear Father Dick,

I am sorry G-Man did not invite you to the B-W campus visit he scheduled for yesterday.

I encouraged him to.

Even if it was under my breath and out of hearing range.

I am going to take it upon myself to invite you to the football sports award banquet.

I am sure he wants you there...

He just does not want you there all high and smelling like weed and noticeably having the munchies.

I think he can handle the Crocodile Dundee/Little House Pa look.

Just as long as it is not combined with the red eyes, glazed over "I am so proud of you son, now where's the goddamn food" look....

Sincerely,

The (WTF was I thinking when I married you) Mom of our Kids

Thank you Father Dick ...

So, as you may have figured out, I am a member of Humor Bloggers...



Head on over there (after you're done here, of course) and join us as we continue our Anti-Injustice Campaign throughout November.



I was seriously having a wee bit of trouble deciding which injustice in my life I should campaign against.



But thank you Father Dick for making the decision easy.


Let me back up a bit...


My ex is father to all three of my kids....really...sadly...


He left me - or us.


Stupid me did not want the marriage to end....


But every once in a while - more like every few weeks - he does something that totally reminds me that I am glad he left - 'cuz otherwise I may still be serving a life sentence - either with him or in prison for getting rid of him....


The latest little reminder came to a head Friday evening.


Actually, it had its start over the summer - I just did not see it coming...again....


G-Man turned 18 in early October.


Father Dick assumed child support payments would stop at that time; I reminded him (when he mentioned it earlier in the summer) that child support does not stop until the child graduates from high school. He gave me that deer in headlights (or high on weed) look.

I was planning on helping take care of him anyway....(yeah, in your own dick head way)

I made sure when CSEA sent the paperwork, I wrote in G-Man's graduation date and had the school fax the necessary paper work confirming that he is indeed enrolled full-time in school and will graduate in June (unless he becomes a television evangelist before that time).



A couple of weeks after his birthday, I received paperwork acknowleding the court's decision that child support will continue until graduation...



Or so I thought....




Friday, hiding in the stack of mail on the kitchen table, was an envelope from CSEA.



Hmmm...what could this be?



The Obligor (aka Father Dickhead) has challenged the court's ruling about termination of payments. There is a hearing in November and I am welcome to use one of my vacation days to trek to the court house and make my case. Oh, I can bring a lawyer, too.



I read this short note three times, thinking, I must be reading it wrong. Am I the obligor or is he? I did not challenge anything. Why would he - it all seems pretty straight forward.



The kid is in school...he lives with me at least until he graduates - 'cuz it would be kind of tough for him to live on his own while finishing high school.



So, I call the ex....

Hey - how ya doing? Thanks for offering to lend me money to get my car fixed. Luckily it did not cost as much as I feared, so I covered it myself. But thanks for being my backup plan.



No problemo. (say what? are you smokin?)


But I just got this letter from the CSEA. Am I reading it wrong? Do we have a court date?



Yeah, I'm challenging it. I do not think the courts have the right to tell me how to take care of my adult kids.


He's still in high school....


He's taking some college classes...


Through the high school....


He's 18; he's an adult. I'll pay for what he needs; the court has no right to tell me I need to pay you every month....


Yeah....okay...I gotta go....(Click)

OMFG!!!!



So - let's see....



I can go to court and pay a lawyer to come with me so maybe my ex will have to pay me the $3500 that he would have to pay over the next few months if he did not challenge this...



Because, I have absolutely no confidence that the Summit County Courts will rule against him. (This lack of confidence has roots....by the time our divorce was final, you would have though I left him and was the worst Mom in the world.)



Or I can just go to work that day - maybe send a short statement to the courts - and take my chances.



Yeah, $3500 dollars is a lot of money to me - hell $500 is a lot of money to me...



But it is just not worth dealing with Father Dick anymore.




Yeah, Dickhead, you are right. It is an injustice. You should not have to pay me to provide a home (with heat and lights and elcectricity) or groceries or to take care of all the day to day little shit that comes up during senior year in high school...



But wait...what would you know about that???



You did not finish high school,did you? - Okay, not on time anyway...how old were you when you got your GED????



You moved out of your Mom's house senior year because she would not let you live there while you and your friends ran drugs between Ohio and Michigan....



But now I am digressing...



You bring out the worst in me...



Thank you for leaving those many years ago...when G-Man was like 6mos old...



Sorry - there I go again...

The church called today....

Hi Phillipia, we just wanted to remind you that we would like to see you at Mass once in awhile. (okay....)

And by the way, we are happy G-Man has decided to attend the Life-Teen fall retreat again this year. (That makes one of us.)

He is such an inspiration to the other kids...being so popular and all and still high on Jesus. (Is that what he has you believing?)


I gotta tell ya, quite honestly, last year when G-Man informed me that he wanted to attend a retreat, I was a little skeptical.

I figured it was an excuse to spend a weekend with Ames...at my expense.

Oh, and the $70 was due yesterday, so if you can get that to us ASAP... (If you're so happy to have him, why don't you pay him???...or at least pay his way???)

But I played the part of the good parent...

Oh, and don't forget we like parents, friends, relatives to send letters of affirmation to the teens, so if you could get those to us before we go.... (Oh, yeah, that again...)

I was so afraid of not being a good parent last year, that I asked everyone to write him a letter. I mean, it sounded like everyone gets a few letters and I did not want G-Man to be left out....

Turns out he got more letters than anyone...

I guess I over did it...

But he felt special - not that his ego needed any more boosting.

I think I will write a different kind of letter this year.

Dear G-Man:

I am happy you are getting some religion in your life
But, when I come to pick you up Sunday, if you feel the need to keep jumping around and shouting and singing and screaming about being high on Jesus for three hours after the retreat is supposed to be over (yeah, like you did last year), just remember...
As much as I love you, I do not want you to be born again.
You caused me enough problems the first time...

Seriously,
Mom

Dear Phillipia...

I found this in my email box the other day: Of course, I had to reply:

The Evolution of a Goat Closet...

...with apologies to Margaret at NGIP...

I was going to send the graphic your way, but then realized I needed some blog material of my own:)

At Peyton PHlaCe, they (the upper management gods) like to shuffle us peons around quite a bit. I believe my desk is in its 5th location since I started 7-1/2 years ago. And I am one of the slow shufflers.

Anyway, a while after our latest shuffle, one of my coworkers decided to start pulling on door handles to see if they actually opened.

As she pulled on door handle #2 - what did she discover? A closet...A coat closet.

We no longer have to hang our coats on the back of our chairs or on our cubicle wall.

The # of coats in the closet was pretty sparse for a while after we started using it.

So....

Ms. Closet Investigator decided to post a note on the wall next to the doors identifying the "Coat Closet".

A few days later, we noticed that the note had been tampered with....


Cute...

Boys will be boys....

Then today, the unidentified tamperer tampered some more....


Coming soon to a Goat Closet near you....