Note to Self....

When you wear the bright Yellow Jacket Shirt to an outdoor game....

The real yellow jackets out there seem to think that you are a great big flower....

Needing pollination..... 

What were you thinking, B-W?????

Too bad I do not look better without my shirt on....

It almost came off.....

Stinger says:
....come and mate with me....

Really....

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

24. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974.That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.


~Thank you, Nanc, - for sharing....

First game....

So.....

As I mentioned in the previous post, we had a lil family outing Sunday to Wooster....

The two hour game was almost as much fun as the 2-hour road trip there and back...

The kids' Dad beat us there...another first...of course as he told us G-Man was the first Harmon/Edmunds to play college ball...he was proud...

I had not really thought about it quite like that - it is something G-Man always wanted to do  - I am proud of him for following his dream and making it happen....

Just as I am proud of LDBoy for following his dream to work for himself and be able to work from anywhere ...the beach in North carolina, the beach in Belize, the coffee shop in his favorite part of town....so jealous...

And just as I am proud of CareBear for getting a degree in Art History despite protests from various *FFMs (what the hell ya gonna do with that???)  and finding and taking a job doing something she loves. 

It is not all about the money or the fame...

It is about finding a way to do what you love....

Just **MHO....

So...

Back to the game...

Dad called CareBear while we were still parking the car...

Where are you guys?  I saved you seats at the 50 yard line...but I cannot hold on to them forever...the stands are filling fast....

Right, Dad...it is a JV game...isn't that like intamural...or rec sports???

And CareBear and LDBoy continued to make comments the whole game to that effect....

So, why isn't he playing Varsity????

I bet there are some freshman playing varsity....

Look, they are not even keeping score...

Even the refs do not care...this is just practice for them, too. for next week's real game on  Saturday...

Just like when he played T-ball....there are no winners or losers....

And no play-by-play from the press box...because noone cares....

It did not help when the guy from the box asked me if we scored on that two-point conversion....

But I took advantage and told a lil fib....yeah we did...#25 took it in....

They did not believe me....

But all in all it was a good game...

G-Man did have a couple of goofs...

Holding on #25 offense - that is like a zillion yard penalty....(Oh, maybe iIshould ask him to hold onto my Pepsi - since he seems to hold so well ~LDBoy)

#25 the ball carrier...oops, its on the ground, it's loose, and the Scots have it....(Forget it, he cannot hold onto anything  ~LDBoy); Well we might as well go - he won't be in again after that play....~CareBear)

Damn Scots....in their skirts

Halftime was bathroom break time...

Bathrooms are underneath the stadium...

In the tractor gargage...or maybe tractor classroom...

I kid you not, there were at least 50 huge John Deere's down there...

Which brought about more heckling from the siblings in the stands....

Because G-man always loved tractors...

We lost him quite a few times when he was a lil guy on family outings....

And we always found him in a construction zone  or a field...atop a tractor or ditch digger...

G-man must have been in heaven  - no wonder we did not see him much in the first half...he prolly got lost on the tractors....

Wonder if he even made it to the locker room...

Bet he wants to transfer to this school next year...

Where's G-Man...check the tractorgarage coach....

And on and on.....

Despite the one holding call and the fumble, G-Man was back in the game...

Quite a bit....

And he played hard - as usual.

A lot of good blocks as FB...

And a lot of first downs as RB....

Ant the Jackets stung the crap out of the Scots...


Congrats on a great first game G-Man and company....

* Fucking Family Members
**Mom's Humble Opinion

Simulation???

So LDBoy, CareBear, K and I are heading to Wooster to watch G-Man play his first ever (JV) college football game....

It was a fun experience....

CareBear kept reminding me that I had to go a lil over the speed limit to get there on time because we left her house a lil late....

"And we all know how slow Mom drives - speed limit, Mom, or we're not gonna be on-time..."

And she kept reminding everyone that on-time meant a half hour before kick off because ...

"Mom is OCD like that; we really could have had another half-hour or so to enjoy breakfast....but noooo....let's get there an hour ealy 'cuz they might be on the field working out or something and Lord knows we want to see that...."

And on and on....

I had printed maps which I looked over a few times before I left so I sorta knew where I was going...

But LDBoy inisited on grabbing CareBear's GPS so we could listen to that annoying voice tell us when it was almost time to turn, when it was close to time to turn, when we should be turning....

I almost grabbed her and threw her out the window....

But LDBoy patched things up with her...

"It's ok, honey, she is just crazy.  I still love you....but you are a lil slow - ya need to catch up here..."

A lil slow????

She was three turns behind....

"Wow, Mom is driving so fast the GPS lady cannot keep up...good thing you memorized the map, Mom."

Worthless POS....

Then LDBoy asks the $1000 question....

"Wonder what GPS Simulation means? Let me turn that back off and see if it makes a difference???"

From the back seat....

"Why'd you turn it on in the first place??? I told you not to touch any buttons..."

And then the annoying voice....

"Recalculating...recalculating....Stop....you are there"

15 mins ahead of schedule...yay me....

....

And the return trip was just as fun....

Especially since there is no signal in Wooster or the surrounding area and by the time there was a signal I had made three wrong turns....

And CareBear was in a hurry to get home...

Just because she was tired of being in the car...

"Floor it, mom!"

And then we all recalled the time G-man was in the car with his dad and said those same words to his dad (except for the Mom part).

Dad, wanting to be the "FUN" parent, complied....

And was immediately pulled over by the boys in blue....

Almost wish I was there for that....

I'll drink to that!

The best news ever....
 

Heavy Drinkers Outlive Non-Drinkers

Pass the salt, and the lemon, and Jose:)

Back to School...

And that means shopping for supplies...

And back to school clothes....

Unless you are taking online classes....

Then you do not get to shop for new clothes...

Or...

Do you???

I hear Sears has a sale on PJ's.

And Snuggies are popular again....

Dreams...

Not the good kind...

I had some really weird dreams the other night....

I dreamt that G-Man's dorm mate was ...well not as nice as he seems....

But G-man was ok with losing $100 from his pocket and seeing DormMates back pocket look $100 fatter...

Where the hell did you get $100 G-Man????

Share the wealth, son....

And then - in the same night, I dreamt that Carebear and K were told by their landlord (who in truth is the ex - gotta hate him) that she had to vacate the house immediately....

He was moving someone else in....

His Mom....

Then I kept wondering why his Mom would move from her house to....her house....

Aren't they treating you right in heaven, Mom?

And then....

I woke up...

Thank the Lord...

Because I have no clue what all that was about....

I am not having a graduation party....

Yeah - I got invited to a ton of graduation parties this summer...

I declined most of them.

I did not have the energy to visit with the extended families of more than a few members of the class of 2010.

I am just not social enough to walk into a party by myself not knowing who would be there that I know...

And then get questioned about why I was not having a party for G-man...

Why should I ????

I did not have one for CareBear or LDBoy when they graduated.

Why not?

Our family is not that extended and it got a little less extended this past year.

And I did not feel like erecting an altar to G-man like  I noticed at some other in parties ....

There would just not be an altar big enough....

Seriously, the kid has a closet full of trophies....

Just picking out the best ones would have filled a picnic table...

Unless of course I chose to display his academic awards...

Those might fill a serving tray...on a high chair...

Just kidding G-Man.

G-Man ended up putting his own party together ...

For just his friends...

Dad offered to supply the venue...his several acre farm in Brimtucky...
 
Same as he did for CareBear and LDBoy when they graduaaed

I provided food and beverages (non alcoholic - his friends are minors)...

And the altar....

Which consisted only of memory collages....

No trophies or awards...

Just photos upon photos upon photos of G-Man growing up....

I managed to keep the em-bare-assing photos to a minimum....

And as with previous parties at his place, Dad was once again totally taken by surprise at the quanity of G-Man's friend...

And the quality....

Of course, quality diminished as the night wore on...

Even the nicest of kids get a lil crazy after imbibing in whatever it was they brought to imbibe in....

Dad woke in the morning to...

...trash spread all over his 20  plus acres...

...sleeping bodies in the drive, on the barn floor, in several cars, and in the fiields near a dying bonfire....

...horns blaring every few minutes when another of the kids fell asleep and did a face plant on his/her steering wheel...

I heard stories the next day from a few of the attendees.

Supposedly it was the best grad party of the summer  - hands down....

And all I did was set up - supply some food  - and leave....

I was not going to be anywhere near that place in the morning....

I know what my small condo looks like the morning after a only a handfull of kids crash there...

I am hooked....

I do not watch television much...
In fact, I have not had the tv on since G-Man headed off to college.

Note to self - call cable company and cancel service....

Actually, I can watch everything I want to watch right on my laptop.


I do not need to stinking big screen or HD whatever....


And what do I want to watch?


You asked - I heard you....


Well, I seem to only watch shows my kids get me hooked on...


Or that I watch because I am in the room when they are watching...

• Gilmore Girls...

CareBear and I watched faithfully...then CareBear went off to college, and well, I sort of quit keeping up....

• South Park & Family Guy....

I watch these when G-Man or LDBoy are watching but never seek them out on my own.

• The Office ...

I used to actually sometimes make a half-hearted attempt to be home for this show....tho I have not kept up with that lately...Pam got Jim...the suspense has ended...or maybe it is just not as funny anymore...is is still on the air?

• Modern Family....

I love that show..because it makes me LOL....thank you LDBoy for turning me on to that....but I still do not watch it by myself...visit soon....

But the winner is....wait for it...

• HIMYM...

I love Barney...actually, I hate Barney - so much that I love him; he is just so Legen....wait for it....

I am actually watching this one by myself when noone else is here to watch with me.... 

I am almost through season 4...

I am addicted...

Gotta get back to it...

What I did this summer.....

This summer has been a little crazier than I anticipated...

So crazy that I completely forgot about Phillipia for awhile....

I will try to share some of my summer adventures over the next couple of weeks....

And I hope to start posting regularly again.

I miss Phillipia...

She lets me vent:)

My summer officially ended this past Wednesday when G-Man moved into a dorm at B-W.

Yes - I am an empty nester.

It feels so good...

After I finished  crying....

G-man expected to come home for a visit this weekend.

In fact, I heard wind of a planned get-together with the Willoughby bunch Friday...

What was he thinking????

Mom, I do not think I can come home this weekend...

You thought you would?

Well yeah - I thought we would get weekends off.

Hah - this is college ball, buddy. 

You are theirs....

Seven days a week....

Ok, 6 days - but you better be with family or teammates on that 7th day...

Or feel the wrath of Coach....

Yeah, parents got the same speech you did...

See in a few months...

Or from the stands...

Cheering you on...

 

Open letter to my kids....

Dear CareBear, LDBoy, and G-Man:

If I move into an apartment with an elevator...


And you do not see some evidence of my well being at least once every 24 hours or so...


Call 911...


Please....


I do not want to be found like this...

St. Simons Island couple found dead in home elevator

Thanks for listening,

Mother Phillipia

oPHiCe Rewards

Rumor has it that there is a new reward system soon to be unveiled within the department ....


Someting about peer-to-peer nominations ...


I will be able to nominate some of my peers for rewards for doing a fine job....


I want to make sure I nominate everyone on my team for something...


I am getting a head start on my list...


I would like to nominate (insert name here) for....

• Being the biggest pain in my ass...
• Being the proud owner of the most nasally annoying morning voice...
• Continually finding the most unusually creative ways to suck  up to management...
• Wearing a suit to the office every day ....shouldn't everyone???
• Wearing croc-like flip flops to the office every day ... in the summer...when  not wearing a suit...because you can...and they make you forget you have plantar  fasciitis ....hey, I can give my self an award:)
• Continuous effort to be in the office exactly 40 hours per week... to the minute...no more, no less.....
• Managing to find at least one thing wrong with each and every task your coworkers are assigned...because if it was assigned to you, you would do it right....the first time...
• Keeping a uncannily accurate spreadsheet listing the hours each of your co-workers are in/out of the office each week...down to the minute...
• Professing your belief that noone actually "works" from home....what technology???....if you're not in the office you should be fired...

...to be continued....

Heard around the oPHiCe....today....

* Ok, go to the bathroom... but come right back...


* Is your computer slow ?

* I have been in meetings all day...except for right now...

* Did you see the new managament announcement? Which one???  I got six so far today...

* I would NOT wear that shirt in Ohio....not if you value your life anyway...

* We don't want to mention names...

* Black belts hold up my pants....Black belts hold up my projects....

* I am really pissed right now....

* Is it that time already?

G-Man Learns a Lesson....

When you plan to spend a morning swimming with dolphins....

Do not stay up all night watching "JAWS"...

Yeah....

After a night of  "JAWS"....

A dolphin swimming up behind you to gently lay its nose on your shoulder.....

In hopes of giving you a friendly kiss....

May just happen to feel like a shark....

And make you scream like a little girl....

Or so I heard....

From trustworthy familial sources....

Kudos to Dan Gilbert....

Gotta love this...

Open Letter to Fans from Cavaliers Majority Owner Dan Gilbert

There are no better fans than Cleveland Fans....

...'til you betray them...

Sorry for you, LJ...

Cleveland Rocks!!!!

Quit with the Shit, LJ....

Dear Lebron,

How nice for you that you are blessed with awesome athleticism....

How nice for you that you have all of these teams and towns begging for you....

How NOT nice of you to play this game with Cleveland....

No matter what you tell us you have decided tonight, know that I have lost a lot of respect for you...

I know that my respect does not matter to you....

But I remember when you were at StVs...

Just 2 years behind LDBoy when he was at rival Hoban....

I remember all the hype then...

I did not follow it closely but I liked that it was getting some good publicity for the school....

Though I kind of felt bad for the rest of the team because they did not get to make the memory of playing their last home game in their home court senior year...

But that is the Mom in me...

And I heard through the grapevine that you took care of some of your teammates after you made the big league...

And I liked that...

And I hear about some of the stuff you still do for the neighborhood you grew up in...

And for your Mom...

And I like that....

I also heard that you could be an asshole at times to some of the guys in your age group who you were not so close to...

But I chalked that up to the age....

You may have been a superstar at 21, but you were still...21...

But this Bull Shit you are pulling now...

Either you want to stay in Cleveland because you grew up close by and have friends and family here....

...or

You don't....

If you want to go somewhere where you THINK you have a better chance of getting a ring or two - because that is what is so important to you....

Then you should JUST SAY SO and GO!

In fact, IMHO, you should just have come clean a long while back....

Either tell them to go to hell....

Or tell us to go to hell...

But QUIT playing with us....

And media hogging it....

It is not becoming....

Most of us have other much more pressing issues to worry about...

Either way, I will always be a Cleveland fans....

GO CAVS!!!!

GO  BROWNS!!!!

GO INDIANS!!!!

Route for the hometown team....

That's just part of who I am...

Not respecting you much anymore,

Phillipia

Small world....

I was looking at a friend's 4th of july family reunion pics in facebook....

And there staring back at me was one of LDBoy's friends....

For a moment I thought I clicked on the wrong profile....

Double checked that...

And then I thought - I must be seeing things...

So I asked G-Man's opinion...

Who does this look like, G-Man?
Uh, its Linds, Mom...no looking like...
Yeah but this is a pic from Nanc's family reunion...
Your friend, Nanc? How does she know Linds?

Small world....

Especially since one of Nanc's nephews are also football and track teammates of G-Man's...

How many other ways can this long time friendship bring our families together????

I should have married a tiger....

I would be doing pretty good about now....

Report: Tiger-Elin divorce final; she gets $750 million

God knows he could not have kept it in his pants for me...

A lot of wind....

2010 Hurricanes...


They have the names all picked out...

I was wondering who they might be named after and what they may have to say for themsleves....

Alex Trebek: I'll take big winds for 150....


Bonnie Parker: You know what, when we started out, I thought we was really goin' somewhere. This is it. We're just goin', huh?

Colin Farrell: I'm in no hurry to get anywhere. I don't have any plans. I don't have a map.

Danielle Steel: I did it at night because I loved it.

James Earl Jones: I got enough C4 in my ass to level a city block!

Princess Fiona: I don't understand - I'm supposed to be beautiful.

Gaston: I'm roughly the size of a barge!

Hermine: I'm French - and that's all you need to know...

Igor Stravinsky: My music is best understood by children and animals...

Julia Roberts: I'm an utterly average, total geek.

Karl Wolf: I gotta need to freak you out..

Lisa Simpson: I know a way to get out of this.

Matthew Perry: I used to be a real prince charming...

Nicole Kidman: What's the point of doing something good if nobody's watching?

Otto Von Bismarck: The main thing is to make history...

Paula Abdul: When people expect me to go right, I`ll go left. I`m unpredictable.

Richard Nixon: Well, I screwed it up real good, didn't I?

Shary Bobbins: Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala(Annoyed Grunt)cious

Thomas Edison: Let there be light!

Virginie Ledoyen: I have a pleasant level of life...

Walter Cronkite: And that’s the way it is...

If you do not recognize some of these names...

Neither do I....

Google search is awesome...

Strategy...

So....

I had to attend - by phone - a mandatory strategy meeting today...

It was fun...

Especially since it was given by someone outside of the product team I am in...

And who presented as if she were talking only to her team...

Let me share some highlights from the meeting....

Most of us agrees that our job is more important than selling rubber tires...

I am not so sure I agree...If the tires on my car blow out everytime the spring breaks on my Ford POS I think someone who can sell me decent tires without needing the manual translated has a pretty important job....

But maybe that is just me...

Some thought provoking questions were posed....

Why do you do what you do every day?

To make money to pay the bills...duh

Okay, maybe that one was not so though provoking...

What is it about you work that makes you passionate?

I get passionate about people trying to find something wrong with everything everyone else does....bitchingly passionate...

What is it about you work that inspires you???

When I see the back-stabbing butt kissers getting promotions and pay increases, I am inspired to....contact my HH guy...