It's over...

This week has been crazy....

In a bittersweet kind of way...

Thursday was the last pre-game Football dinner - although we were not sure of that at the time.

Thursday, after dinner, was Senior night.

On senior night, the seniors football players sit with their parents on the stage in the auditorium.

In the audience are coaches, other team players, cheerleaders, other relatives....

The seniors each take a turn at the podium, with their parents at their side, and talk for a few minutes about their time playing football at South.

There are 28 Seniors on the '09 team - the most there has been in a long time at Willoughby South High.

Which means it was a looooong night...


If you ever feel the need to watch grown men and teen boys cry, crash a senior night at your local high school.

Coaches were crying; players were crying, Moms and Dads were crying. Babies were crying - maybe not for the same reasons, but ...

Some of the players were crying so hard they could hardly talk...

I think G-Man was wishing he had stuck with soccer - because they do not do this and he would not have had to let everyone see him cry....

But he did good, considering when he first started school many, many years ago, I could not understand a word he said and had to have CareBear interpret until the speech therapy started kicking in...

But I digress...

A couple of the players opted not to prepare ahead of time...

I'd like to thank Marty, the guy that cuts the grass. He does an amazing job. I think of him everytime I go down - like when I tackle someone.. I mean - there's a lot of grass out there to cut. He does a good job. Oh, and thanks to the coaches and my parents, too....

I want to thank my Mom - she cooks and does my laundry and takes care of the kids. And my Dad - he works hard so my Mom has food to cook for me, cuz I eat a lot. And he takes care of the kids. We all eat a lot...

I have only been on the team like two months, 'cuz I am a soccer player and you guys just wanted me for my foot, so I do not have much to say, but thanks....

....and my Mom ...fuck...oh crap, did I say that into the mike...I'm sorry coach....sorry everyone...

Friday Night was the last game of the season...'tho we were not sure of that at the time either.

The Rebels did great - took the PAC conference championship for the second year in a row.

Playoff hopes were high - just needed a few other teams to win so they could get in....

But by the time we met the buses back at the school, playoff hopes were shattered...and we once again got to watch grown boys shed tears...

Which meant that they did not feel like eating much of the hot pizza and snacks we had waiting for them, so the moms, dads, cheerleaders, random parking lot wanderers, all had a feast....

What Halloween Means to Me...

Halloween = Chocolate

It is as simple as that.

Who cares about the costume?...bring home the chocolate...

I always buy bags of candy I like for Halloween Trick or Treaters.

And I always buy way more than I need- just to make sure there are leftovers.

And when the kids were younger, I had a plan B to make sure there were leftovers....

I had the kids stop back home about half-way through their rounds.

I dumped their loot and pulled out what they did not want....

Then I pulled out what I did not want from what they did not want...

And that is what the rest of the trick or treaters knocking at my door got...seconds...

Hey - it was probably their second time around anyway...

When CareBear got old enough to go with her friends to other neighborhoods, I use to get upset with her because she would come home without any candy...

Not a single piece...unless it was in her mouth...

WTF????

I just go for fun, Mom. I do not need all the candy. I just take it
if it is something I really want...

What about ME???

Who bought that costume, anyway, princess CareBear???

Did you not one time think - oh Mom would like that, let me get it for her????

Sorry, Mom. I didn't think....that we needed it...I saw how much you bought...

I love ya CareBear. You are always looking out for me:)

But remember, when it comes to chocolate, there is never too much...

To Grandma's House We Go...

The kids' Dad lives in his Grandma's house, which, according to them, is haunted.

All three kids and some of their friends' have seen the ghosts - yes, more than one - and not just on Halloween...

They have seen an older lady standing at the foot of their bed - too old and pretty and see -through to be a lady friend of their Dad's.

CareBear has watched her door open and close several times during a night when noone else was in the house. She heard it a few more times but did not see it because she was hiding under the covers.

G-Man has been asked by a figure of a small boy to play with him. G-man rudely told the kid to get lost - he was trying to sleep.

Actually, G-Man had a friend visiting the night of that particular vision. At breakfast the next morning he mentioned to his Dad that he saw the ghost again. His friend was all like....

...you mean it was a ghost...I thought you'd think I was crazy if I said I saw a ghost...he was running up and down the hall...

LDBoy lived with Dad in the house during high school. On numerous occasions, he (and his visiting friends) heard footsteps on the stairs - not just the creaking sounds the stairs in an old house make....but heavy footsteps...when his Dad was out of town and noone else was in the house...

Dad has never seen or heard any of this...or so he says...

Of course, the blue smoke constantly emanating from his room may keep even the darkest spirits at bay...

There is a cemetery across the street from the house and there are several infants and small children buried there.

And...

Rumor has it that the county coroner lived in the house before Great Grandma...

And he used the basement as his morgue....

Catch some other more Humorous Halloween Tales of Horror over at the Humor Carnival.....

What???

Your Halloween Costume Should Be Candy Corn

I Don't think so...maybe a lemon, to go with Jose. Or a chocolate bar...but candy corn? Corn of any kind is still a vegetable... Unless it is covered in chocolate. Chocolate Candy Corn... Okay, now we're talking.

What Should You Be For Halloween?

Blogthings: Our Quizzes Weren't Written By Bored 12 Year Olds

It's a Halloween Carnival...

Visit my Humor Blogging Buddies all week
for some sweet entertainment...

Trick or Treat Sweet, that is...

Password Protect This...

I have waaaay toooo many passwords.

I have so many that I have a spreadsheet with all of them...

Actually I have two spreadsheets; one for my Peyton PHlace passwords and another for my personal passwords.

These are not small spreadsheets either.

When I print them I use size 6 font so I can fit them on one page...and of course they are harder to read that way.

So anyone looking over my shoulder has to squint pretty hard to see what I am reading...

'Cuz they sure as hell cannot read what I am typing...************

I cannot read what I am typing.

And when I am in the middle of three things, I start typing and forget how far I got or what password I was suppose to be typing and I cannot tell where I was because all I see is *******!!!!!!

Password not recognized...try again.....try again...try again...three tries, you're locked out.

Damn....I really wanted to check my account balance. Oh well.

I believe in password protection, but let me pick my own goddamn password without six levels of security...

Nothing I have or know is worth much of anything to me or anyone else....

Unless someone thinks they can make my negative balances suddenly leap outta the red zone...

So, if it was up to me, I would use the same password for everything: ******

And I would never have to change it....ever.

But nooooo....it is not up to me.

You used that password three years ago, try again.
You used that password two years ago, try again.

Yeah, my password spreadsheets now includes my last six passwords for everything...

And of course the security answers.....

What is the name of your first pet? Hell if I remeber; I think we got the cat and the goldfish on the same day. But the cat lasted longer - does she win?

What was your first car? Clunker POS

What was your paternal grandmother's maiden name? Woah - she always used Grandpa's name. She didn't have her own name. Or was that her name, too. OMG, that's right. My grandpa married his third cousin, twice removed. I did not need to be reminded of that. Damn password security.

Holy Shit....

In the news:

Image Of Virgin Mary Appears In Bird Dropping On Area Family’s Truck

How much do you think this blessed bird shit will sell for on Ebay?

How long do you think before it miraculously appears there?

On a side note, I thought I saw an image in some dog poop in my yard the other day.
After intense scrutiny, I realized it was a footprint. I wanted to believe it was Jesus' or a saint's, but no one else wanted to believe...

That's okay. I did not really want to bag it for sale on Ebay anyway...

I'll find another way to make my millions....

Cat Lady Wisdom

I just finished working (for my day job) a few minutes ago...
It has been a long day.

I woke up with whatever G-Man had the last couple of days (which I originally, incorrectly diagnosed as Senior Skipness).

But there is too much going on at work to take a sick day, so I decided to work from home.

I actually got a boatload of work done, until I fell asleep at the keyboard about 5:00 PM.

I slept until G-Man, sharing child that he is, woke me up as he came in the door from football about 6:30.

Where was I going with this?

Oh yeah....

So I finished working a few minutes ago and decided to visit Cat Lady's Blog (via Facebook - which I visited first)...

After WTF Wednesday, I decided to click on her fortune cookie widget...because I could use a little wisdom.

Shit, now I forgot what it said exactly, but it was something about a no-legged running teacher...

Which just reminded me that I had an email today from G-Man's track coach (who still does have both legs, btw)...

Apparently G-Man, who hardly ran track last season because of a pulled hamstring, did run enough to qualify for the Indoor Nationals to be held in March of 2010 in Boston, MA.

So there is a parent meeting November 1st to discuss preparing for the meet (no doubt by participating in other indoor meets) and fundraising to cover expenses because none of this is school sponsored.....

All I could think while I was reading was .....aww come on, at least give me a couple of weeks to get over football!

Track is a spring sport...November 1st????

Whatever....

Damn, I almost forgot...

...until you reminded us all on Facebook that it is your half-birthday CareBear.

How nice that you are accepting presents.

Let me know how that works out for you....

As much as I love ya, I do not give half-birthday presents....sorry!

Want to know why???

Because if I give you half-birthday presents, I will feel obligated to give your brothers half-birthday presents...

And they are just too hard to buy for....

And I do not want you to feel obligated to buy me half-birthday presents when mine comes around....

See, I am doing both of us a favor:)

But Happy Half-Birthday anyway to my most beautiful, favorite daughter!!!

Though for the day...

Have you ever wondered if the one dollar bills in your wallet
were ever in a stripper's butt crack?

If not, I bet you're wondering now:)

And I am going to wash my hands....

Coincidence?

So I was working along at a pretty good pace this morning when I got a text message from G-Man...

G-Man: I am going to see the nurse.
Me (Pulled nuts going through my head): Why???
G-Man: I am going to throw-up.
Me: Go Fast!

A few minutes later I get a call from the school nurse....

SN: Hi Phillipia...I have your son here.
Me: Did he make it?
SN: What?
Me: Nevermind...is he really sick?
SN: Well, yeah. He looks pretty pale and sick. Can I send him home?
Me: Sure...I'm not there.
SN: He's the 10th person I sent home so far this morning.
Me: Not all to my house, I hope...
SN: What?
Me: Does he have a fever?
SN: No - half the kids had a fever, the others are just ready to vomit. And we have an unconfirmed case of H1N1.
Me: Great - can't you keep him?
SN: What?
Me: Send him home...thanks for the call.

Something was nagging at me throughout this whole conversation but I could not quite put my finger on it...



Until....



A few minutes later I happened to talk to another senior Mom...

OtherMom: My son is home sick today.
Me: Really?
OtherMom: Yeah, he went in for one class.
Me: Why did he go in at all?
OtherMom: He did not want to get in trouble for staying home on senior skip day....
Me: Oh really?

Yeah....that's what it was. G-Man had asked me late last week to call him off today. I refused, being the good Mom I am.



Apparently a lot of other Moms refused, too.



Most of the kids sent home sick were seniors....



Coincidence?



Will we ever really know?

Would you rather....

I sat down the other night after a long day at work, wanting to relax and do a little reading...

Getting all comfy on the couch....

And then I though...a beer sounds good...

So I headed to the fridge and opened the fresh case of Molsen....

As I pulled out a nice cold bottle of brew, I naturally turned it around to read the....

WTF, where'd the label go????

Would you rather have a Molsen without the "Would you rather....label" or a...

I still had the Molsen, but I was pretty depressed the whole time I drank it.

I think I need to make up some labels for the rest of the bottles in the case...

Mud Bowl IV..enough already!

I never thought I would say this, but I am ready for snow.

Because I am tired of watching Friday Night Football in the rain...

Wet cold is much worse than dry or snowy cold.

My body takes a good 24 hours to recover from sitting in a cold rain for 3 hours...

Seriously, I slept til 1:30 PM today...and it is now 9:30 and I my body wants to go back to bed.

Ok, that may be because of that good steak dinner I just got done eating.

I love when the ex's dad is in town...we usually get at least one good family meal at an awesome restaurant. And he is fun to visit with, too - but I digress.

Back to the Mud Bowl....

Again it was worth it.

The Ranger fans were being pretty obnoxious from the time they got to the field. They were screaming and booing throughout the whole South Fight Song AND the National Anthem.

But the fans and the Rangers who were talking smack on the radio last week got pretty quiet after the first 3 Rebel touchdowns...

And Rebels did play with class again...

Except of course when the other guys got a lil nasty. ..

I mean, G-man, when that guy face masked you and then started gouging at your eyes when you were down...if you did not throw him off you, I would've had to come down there myself and do something about it...

NOONE messes with MY baby and gets away with it...

In the third quarter, when I saw the trainer heading my way in the stands, I did get a little concerned. I started scanning the field looking for G-man, but they all look alike covered in mud.

TrainerGirl: G-Man sent me to see if you have any ibuprofen on you...
Me: What'd he do?
TrainerGirl: .......
Me (scanning the field): Is he hurt?
TrainerGirl: In his own words...he thinks he pulled a nut...
Me: What???? I do not need to hear this.
TrainerGirl: That's what I told him...like what's he expect me to do about it?
Me: Well, I do not have any painkillers on me - I was fine til now....
TrainerGirl: I'll get some somewhere.
Me: I think he's fine....

As I look toward the field there is G-man running for an 82-yard touchdown...
Too bad it got called back because someone was holding in the backfield....
Ooops, look like his nut is hurting again....

Til the next run...

Final score: Rebels: 36, Rangers: Nice big fat 0!!!

A good week....

This week has not been nearly as busy as last week...

It could be, but I keep falling asleep as I am trying to work late into the night (or I get distracted and start blogging).


Monday late morning - just as I well telling a coworker that I had absolutely nowhere that I had to be that night - the coach called and asked that I send out a mass email to let the team know that they were going to be on local radio at a local eatery and than on onother program at another local eatery immediately following...

I spoke too soon....

And G-Man being captain (ham) that he is, is usually interviewed on these shows so of course I go watch and listen.

And yes, he made me proud.

MC: So, G-Man, I've known you since you were in 4th grade...hope you
let me be there when you sign for one of those many ccolleges that must be
knocking on your door...
G-Man: If you can get one to knock, I'll sign, and you can watch.
MC: Hmmm, so moving on, then. If you could trade places with anyone in this
room, who would it be?
G-Man (scooting a little farther away from the coach next to him): Coach
Football, because he is the scariest man alive.
MC: Well that's a side of him we do not usually see.
G-Man: That's 'cuz you never played football for him.
MC: True. So who's your hero, G-Man?
G-Man: My Mom.

Awwww....

Moving on to program #2....

Know that it is rival game (aka Civil War) week in Willoughby - the South Rebels vs the North Rangers.

As we walk into the second eatery, the North Rangers are being interviewed. They point to my son as he walks in and start laughing mockingly. I did a double take just to make sure he had all his clothes on - or at least the important ones. I did not see anything missing.

Then I realized that the North players were being all-around smart-assed and cocky up there as they were talking to the reporters.

Reporter: So are you ready for the challenge this week.
Ranger 1: We do not see it as a challenge. We are going to win - no
question about it....
Reporter: Wow - that's a lot of confidence especially since you have not
won this game in the last several years.
Ranger1: But we have a sophomore QB on the team who is awesome.
Reporter: Okay, then. But he cannot do it alone.
Ranger2: We also have a good receiver.
Reporter: Just one????
Ranger 3: No, we will all play.

As I am listening, I whisper to G-Man that he should be the bigger man when he is up there.

No problem, I have 20 pounds and 2-inches on all of them, Mom.

OMG, should I just leave now...wait in the parking lot, maybe?

Reporter: Let's welcome the South Rebels. So Coach Football, what do you
think about the game this week.
CF: Well, it should be fun. Two good teams, playing for the conference
champ. We are working hard to make sure we are ready for it.
Reporter: Do you see it as a challenge?
CF: Everygame is a challenge. We have a great QB, several good backs, a
great offensive line, and a defense that is getting better and better each week
as the season progresses.
Reporter: G-Man, what do you think about the Rangers. They are pretty
confident.
G-Man: It is going to be a fun game. It is the game we most look forward to
all year. They have had some successes this season; we have had some
successes. Two good teams doing battle in our house.

That is right...Coach Football has taught you well...play with class on and off the field.

G-Man had a little more to be proud of this week, too...

Him: Hey Mom, call me out of my off-campus classes Thursday afternoon....
Me: WHY????
Him: Because there is a pep rally at South and then I have to go to the local
paper for an interview because I am Player of the Week.
Me: WHY???
Him: Wow, Thanks, mom.
Me: Not that you do not deserve it...every week in my book...but it usually
goes to the kid with the most TDs and that was not...
Him: Forget it, Mom. I luv you. too.
Me: I didn't mean...
Him: I gotta go...

When am I going to learn to THINK before I put my foot in my mouth....

I KNOW it does not fit...I have tried many, many times...

Oh well....


I do have a feeling the South will rise again this Friday Night in Willoughby.


Go Rebs!

Happy 400th Post To Me:)

This is my 400th post as Phillipia - or as anyone for that matter...

And unless of course you count the couple that I previously deleted because they were offensive to someone who I do not mind offending - but sometimes offensive people do not play fair....but I digress...

And I thought I had 36 followers the other day, but now I am down to 35 - did I offend someone else?

I would apologize but maybe they,too, deserved my offense...

Seriously, I do not intend to offend anyone as Phillipia; I just blog what is in my heart and on the tip of my typing fingers at the moment.

I admit, I do have trouble controlling myself at times...

And I do exaggerate at times - otherwise my posts may not be nearly as funny...

And yes , G-Man, I did send your supplement order off on the day I told you I did, contrary to the day that was posted in my blog....this blog is like a tv show - you cannot believe everything you read. How did you find my blog anyway???

Top Heavy...

Thanks to Chrissy at I Shoulda Been a Stripper for this awesome award...

Yeah, there are rules...and I hate rules.

Rules are made to be broken...

So I am making my own rules with this one...play along:)

Copy and change the answers to to the 35 questions....

You cannot use one word answers! (Breakin' the rules...oh yeah)

Post your answers and let your readers grab the award for themselves. (My rules rule!)

1. Where is your cell phone? Good question...call me so I can find out...

2. Your hair? Clairol#44 with gray roots....ooops

3. Your mother? Ask my brothers....bad answer...ummm...Yes, she is...

4. Your father? "It's my way or the highway"...I kinda like the highway...

5. Your favorite food? Steak with mashed potatoes and mushroom and onion gravy...yum...anyone wanna go grab some food?

6. Your dream last night? Too hot to talk about...night sweats are a bitch.

7. Your favorite drink? Jose chased with White Zin.

8. Your dream/goal? Financial security...or a well-to-do man...who loves me for me...

9. What room are you in? Living Room (as opposed to Dead Room)

10. Your hobby? Writing as Phillipia

11. Your fear? I will never be able to retire...

12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? On a beach...

13. Where were you last night? Paninis and Hooley House with the Football Team...

14. Something that you aren't? Happily (or unhappily) married...there is good in everything.

15. Muffins? Chocolate Chocolate Chip and Banana Nut...because if you cannot decide, have them both.

16. Wish list item? Grandkids...just kidding guys...I can wait...

17. Where did you grow up? Willowick - east of Cleveland

18. Last thing you did? Water jog at Bally's - well... then I drove home and then I booted up my laptop and then I started this post...

19. What are you wearing? Comfy PJ's (i.e. old sweats)

20. Your TV? In the basement.

21. Your pets? Not here!!!!! Yay!!!!

22. Friends? Yes, I have a few. Some are reading this post:)

23. Your life? Not exactly the way I thought it would be...but when life gives you lemons, Jose is a godsend:)

24. Your mood? Hyper - it is 1:25 AM and I am blogging...oh crap, I better get some sleep.

25. Missing someone? Do not think so...G-Man, check. CareBear, Kent. LDBoy....

26. Vehicle? Black Ford Taurus

27. Something you’re not wearing? All the clothes in my closet, duh...

28. Your favorite store? If it sells clothes or food it is my favorite...

29. Your favorite color? Midnight Blue

30. When was the last time you laughed? 45 minutes ago...

31. Last time you cried? Last Wednesday

32. Your best friend? Wonderful Rose

33. One place that you go to over and over? Peyton PHlaCe...I just cannot stay away...must have something to do with payday...

34. One person who emails you regularly? Susie488....geez, just quit already.

35. Favorite place to eat? On an outdoor patio or deck...

So there you have it...I dare you to play along:)

Open Email....

...to Susie488, Missy669, Kristy1889, and Maggie4123.

Thanks for viewing my Yahoo profile.

But quit emailing me telling me that you think I am cute and you would like to get to know me.

Do I look like a guy to you???? I am NOT a guy in a nun's habit - just in case you were wondering.

Do I look like a lesbian??? I am NOT gay, okay?

I DO NOT like girls in any way that you are suggesting...got it???

Leave me the F alone.

Thank you....

BTW, if you are gay or lesbian, I mean no offense, but I am not - to each his (or her) own...

Mud Bowl III

Week 7 of High School football is in the books...

A steady rain with spotty downpours was the theme...

Granted, moms do not have to wash the mud out of the uniforms...but what about protection for what's underneath the uniforms?

And I am not talking about bodies. If they wore enough protection for that, the players they could not walk, let alone run.

I mean the underwear. G-Man's white underarmour is now shitty brown - even OxyClean can only do so much.

But it was worth it...

Week 6 was the second week of PAC Conference play - Rebels are now 2-0 in that arena.

Week 6 was homecoming weekend in Willoughby. The girls on court had to battle the rain in their nice clothes - but not the guys - they needed to keep their game face on....

And the game face worked...with that win the rebels are now ranked 9th in division 1 Region 1. Move up one more spot and hold it and Willoughby could see some post-season action.

The 8-step program...

I have been pretty busy lately and have not made it to Bally's for a few days.

I mentioned this to one of my older friends.

She responded by sending me the 8-step exercise program she has been working on since she turned 50 a couple months ago...

1. Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side.
2. With a 5-lb potato bag in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides.
3. Hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, and then relax.
4. Each day hold this position for just a bit longer.
5. After two weeks, use 10-lb potato bags.
6. After two more weeks try 50-lb potato bags.
7. By 6 weeks you should be able to lift a 100-lb potato bag in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute. (I'm at this level.)
8. After you feel confident at this level, put a potato in each bag.

Remembering a good man...

Art Reeves, you were a good man...

Of all my ex-in-laws, you were my favorite.

You did not judge, but had a strong sense of right and wrong.

You had a good heart, a great sense of humor, and an awesome love for life.

You could party with the best of them:)

Which is why LDBoy went ahead with plans to take G-man out on his 18th birthday even tho it was the day after you passed and the day before your wake.

"Grandpa Art would have wanted us to do this; let's not disappoint him."

From what I heard, the boys made you proud.

And yes, I will make sure G-man gets to enough classes and practices this week so he can play Friday night, because you would have wanted that, too. (Even tho in the last few months you had him confused with someone name Greg who runs touchdowns for THE OHIO STATE UNIVERSITY...)

I will never forget all you did for us as a young couple with young children. You helped us in so many ways. The kids always loved the times they spent with you.

And you have been there for them as they have grown.

I have never seen G-man cry so hard as he did when I had to tell him the sad news of your passing.

This week, so many fond memories of times past have been going through my mind, bringing smiles and tears...

I will share just one of my many favorite stories...

...Late one night you came in after the Akron PD had wanted to arrest you and your prank-playing friends for trespassing on the local golf course, but apparently you had decided not to renew your license EVER and so the BMV had just finally assumed you had passed away (quite a few years back).... as you retold the story, when the police dispatch told the would-be arresting officers that they were looking at a dead man - well, the whites of their eyes were all you could see that late at night and they let you and your friends go on your way....

Thank you, Art, for all you gave...to everyone who came into your life...

May you rest in peace.