Thanks...I think...

So....

My manager at Peyton PHlaCe made sure I got a reward for all my hard work on a recent project...

I appreciate that...

What I do not appreciate is how Peyton PHlace now handles rewards...

You get rewarded in points...

You can use the points to purchase items from a catalog...

Overpriced items from a catalog...

Except for the Gift Cards...

A $100 American Express card is $100, right?

Except that you cannot turn it in for cash and you can only use it certain places...

But here's the kicker....

Once you choose and order your reward online, the dollar amount of the reward goes onto your next paycheck...

So...

My paycheck went down by 28% of the reward that I have not yet received (thank you USPS) and that I will only be able to use at certain places once I do receive it....

None of them grocery stores or utility companies (yeah, I was on the all-electric plan)....

The reward system is nice for those who do not count on every cent in their pay check to make ends meet...

But as for me, I say: Just show me the money!!!!

If you give me a $100 extra in my check, I know I may only see 72% of it but I am still $72 dollars ahead.

Now I have a gift card that I cannot spend on necessities and I am a few dollars short in my paycheck....

Oh well...

When life gives you a gift card...find a margarita bar:)

I have a tendency...

...to bring out the worst in folks....

On a side note...this is my 500th post - yay me:)

I had something totally different planned for this post, but f-it - I need to rant....

So hear goes....

I was working at the office today - first mistake of the day:)

Second mistake was letting one of our contractors get the better of me...

This particular contractor has gained a reputation around the office as AAFAC...

Yeah, I will let you have fun with that....

Anyway, AAFAC was having a conversation with FTSW (full-time, not f-in), going on about how he needed to use his files for a document that needed done next week....

Well the said document needs to build on the version FTSW is working on...

AAFAC: Well, I will just copy your files to my C: drive to work on them so I can release them.

FTSW: Well, I need to make sure these changes are in there.

AAFAC: I cannot wait - you are holding up this other project.

FTSW: There are a lot of other service docs that are ready to work on....

AAFAC: I told them we would do this one first and now I can't because it is not done like I thought so now our schedule is off

Phip - that's me:: Wait a minute....two things here...if you do not let FTSW finish making changes before he hands over the files, your files will not have the changes.

AAFAC: So, it's a different project...

Phip: Building on the same files; if our reviewers make changes on these files, they expect them to be in your files.

AAFAC: It's their job to review them.

Phip: You are messing with our credibility here...

AAFAC to FTSW (ignoring Phip):I'm copying the files to HCSW's hard drive.

Phip: I disagree with the concept, but if you are copying files from the network to anyone's C: drive to work on them, please indicate that on the newtork files, so we know that someone is working on them outside of the netwrok..

AAFAC: I do not have time for that....
Phip:It takes a sec and lets everyone know not to work on those files until they are copied back. It is our source control...
AAFAC: We have no source control....
Phip: Not open for discussion...please just mark the folders...

AAFAC: PHIP, DO YOUR OWN WORK AND MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!!!

Phip: THIS IS MY BUSINESS. I NEED TO RELEASE OUR FILES AND I NEED TO KNOW THAT THEY ARE CLEAN.

AAFAC: YOUR FILES ARE PRISTENE. I AM NOT TOUCHING THEM.

Phip: I NEED TO RELEASE YOUR FILES TOO...OUR DEPARTMENT. I BELIEVE OUR OSS ASKED ME TO UNDERSTAND AND GUIDE THE DEPARTMENT ON OUR FILE STRUCTURE.

Okay, third mistake...right there...

Assuming I understood my role...

Yeah, the caps are becasue we were loud...

In the office...

He started it...the yelling, that is...



Of course I emailed OSS to apprise her of the situation...


Apparently, I was out of line and need to apologize for....


For what????


For causing AAFAC to yell at me to mind my own business????


Apparently, when we are rushed it is ok to not follow protocol and I need to mend relations with AAFAC.


Now, OSS is a good boss for me...


I really wish she could see the office semantics rather than hear about them over the email wire...


For her own sake...


But I am done worrying about it....


I did apologize for being overly-aggressive in my concern for our file structure and for not understanding my role...


I will be working from home tomorrow...


Where I cannot hear what they are doing to our files....


I will just take what they give me and trust (ha - none of that left) that our contractors know what they are doing...


Have I mentioned how many times in the past that they have proven that they do not know what they are doing??????


Life at Peyton PHlaCe....


Just when things start to look up....


They come crashing down....


If only OSS were not so OS...


For the sake of our department...

Oh well....

Sometimes Revenge is Sweet...

I have heard this story before, but I love it so much that I decided to share it with you, my blogger friends....

Note that I have never done anything like this...

More so because I have not had the opportunity than because I would not...

I am not quite sure what I would do, given the opportunity...

But I digress...

On with the tale...

She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.

On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.

On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by
candle-light, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of
shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of spring-water .

When she had finished dining, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar into the hollow of the curtain rods.

She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

When her ex-husband returned with his new girlfriend to live in their house...

All was bliss for the first few days...

Then slowly, the house began to smell...

They tried everything; cleaning, mopping and airing the place out .

Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steam cleaned .

Air fresheners were hung everywhere.

Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters; they had to move out for a few days during the extermination.

They paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.

All their efforts were in vain!!!

People stopped coming over to visit.

Repairmen refused to work in the house.

The maid quit.

Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to sell the house ans move.

A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house.

Word got out and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls.

They ended up having to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place because they could no longer stand to live in the home while they waited for it to sell.

It was around this time that she called her ex-husband and asked how things were going...

He told her the saga of the rotting house.

She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back.

Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day.

She agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork.

A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving
company pack everything to take to their new home.........

And to spite the ex-wife, they even took the curtain rods!!!!!!

NyQuil - it's not just for nighttime anymore...

I took a dose of Walgreen's version of NyQuil about 6:00 pm last night and another a few minutes ago...so this post will probably be short, because I can see drowsiness approaching.

I have had a sinus headache/earache on and off all week, but by Thursday it was turned ON full blast with out an OFF switch.

I had too much work to do to take any meds that would make me drowsy.

NyQuil usually knocks me out for close to 12 hours and I have not had 12 consecutive hours to waste away sleeping this week.

But last evening, I succumbed....

Boy did I sleep good...

Till about 3:00 am when I awoke to the F-word coming from the basement...LDBoy's work must not be going so good...

Or maybe it was my snoring that woke me and I just happened to hear the F-word and blamed that...

I'll never know...

Last Sunday, LDBoy moved in for a couple of weeks...

Or until he can gather up what he needs to make the move to Belize...

No, I am not jinxing his work just to keep him stateside longer...

Not that I wouldn't, I just am not sure how to do that...

With my luck I would actually probably fix a coding problem instead of botching it...

And then he would be gone sooner...

And my house would never get cleaned...

Have I mentioned that he has been cleaning out my clutter?

One room at a time....

Unfortunately, we have different ideas of clutter...

Him: Have you used it in the last week? In the last month? In the last year?

Me: But, I may need it someday...

So each evening after work I have been frantically trying to realize what he has tossed that I may need someday...

Me: Where's that thing a ma jig that was sitting right here...

Him: It's gone....

Me: But, I use it all the time....

Him: You do? Cuz it was cracked and the batteries were so dead they were leaking inside it...

Me: But...

him: It's gone, Mom.

Me: Without even a goodbye?

Him: It's gone.

Good night!

I will start posting regularly again soon...

Right now, I am sooooo busy at my daytime job and in my life that I just cannot even find the time to jot down the humor in it all....

But I do try to read my Facebook horoscope every day...because one of my friends is also a Virgo and she posts it to her profile...thank you Linda:)

And I have to say, it is pretty entertaining...

Astrology - Today's Virgo Horoscope

Start creating a much closer relationship with someone who has authority over you. yeah right - noone had authority over me - I am my own woman!!!

Compatibility: Taurus bulls do turn me on

Mood: Generous damn - hope I can control myself....

Lucky Color: Purple that hot guy is wearing purple...hmmm..maybe I will get lucky???

Lucky Number:30 that hot guy is 30...hmmm..maybe I will get lucky???

Lucky Time of Day: 2pm can't wait

I hope I get this opportunity some day...

And I hope it works out as well for me...

A smart, handsome and sexy young man dressed in the most sophisticated manner walked into a bar.

He noticed a woman staring at him, open-mouthed and without blinking.

Flattered, he approached the woman and said in his sexiest deep voice:

"I'll do anything you wish, beautiful lady, for just $20, but on one condition."

The woman was trapped in a moment and asked, as if in a trance:

"What's your condition?"

The young man replied:

"Tell me your wish in just three words."

After a long pause, the beautiful lady opened her purse, counted out $20, and handed
it to the man along with her address.

She then looked deeply into his eyes and whispered:

"Clean my house."

Love is in the Air...

I can feel it, can't you?? NOT!

OK, so the little cupid guy is a bad shot when he is aiming my way...

But anyway...

To all of you who have been hit...

Happy Valentine's Day!

WTF???

I missed my lucky time of day...again!!!

Today's Virgo horrorscope per Facebook, anyway...

You need self-discipline today -- and you've got plenty! That's a relief - having what I need...

You may just need to keep your big mouth shut as the folks around you make fools of themselves or you may need to avoid a mighty temptation. Nothing new there...

Compatibility:Capricorn
Mood:Tolerance
Lucky Color:Orchid
Lucky Number:28
Lucky Time of Day:2am What??? I was not even awake!!!

Who needs a license???

I just need an excuse...

Any excuse will do...

But this is great...

Chocolate and Strokes

Not one, but two, yes two, recent studies have shown ....

UNDATED -- Just in time for Valentine’s Day, we’ve learned about another benefit to indulging in chocolate.
Two studies found people who eat chocolate once a week have a 25 to 45 percent lower risk of stroke.
It's likely because of flavonoids, which can have a positive effect on blood pressure.
But, doctors say that’s not a license to eat candy bars every day.

Hell yeah, it is...

It is much easier to remember to eat chocolate than to take my BP meds!!!

I am a great follower...

...maybe a shitty leader, but a great follower.

Ok, maybe not a great follower, but a follower...

And for that I get awarded!!!!

Anything for an award...

Thank you Chris T in My Virtual Attic.

Yes, thank you, Chris...

I think...

Why do all these blogger awards come with rules?

But, being me, I see accepting this award as a way to break some rules....

Or maybe making up some of my own rules...

Acceptance of this award is suppose to entitle me to tell you 47 things about myself...

46 things asked by the award giver and one thing I get to add myself....

Which means whoever I choose to give this award to has to answer 48 questions....

Oh yeah, I get to share the misery...

So hear we go...

Now remember, I am a rule breaker, so if some of these questions do not sound familiar Chris, just play along...

1. What is my current obsession? Who said I’m obsessed?

2. What am I wearing today? Clothes….what did you expect me to be wearing?

3. What's for dinner? Where are you taking me?

4. What's the last thing I bought? …tampons and massengill - just because I knew you would want to know.

5. What am I listening to right now?...the voices in my head…

6. What do I think of the person who tagged me? I think he may be sorry he tagged me…but I will not stop following him into his virtual attic.

7. If I could have a house totally paid for, fully furnished anywhere in the world, where would I like it to be? Anywhere warm, near a beach, with a pool boy, gardener, maid, butler, cook, chauffeur ….

8. What are my must-have pieces for summer? Fully stocked tiki bar

9. If I could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go?
Dreamland – hey it’s late, I’m tired….

10. Which language do I want to learn?
the language of love…maybe then I’ll find some…

11. What's my favorite quote? Live. Love. Laugh.

12. Who do I want to meet right now? Noone, I look like shit…it’s late and I’m tired..

13. What is my favourite color? Warm

14. What 3 styling tips work for me? Don’t pluck, don’t blow-dry, don’t curl; take me as I am…

15. What is my dream job?...Not needing a job

16. What is my favorite magazine? I stay away from guns.

17. If you had $100 now, what would you spend it on? Dog treats for Taz and Buddy – just kidding, kids

18. What do I consider a fashion faux pas? There is no such thing as a fashion faux pas…if it works for you, go with it…

19. What is the stupidest question on this list of questions? The one I just overwrote with this one….

20. What kind of haircut do I prefer? A trim – it gets me outta there fastest……

21. What am I going to do after this? How many ways do I have to say it??? I am going to bed..,it’s late, I’m old, I’m tired.

22. What are my favorite movies? I’d rather read the books…

Congratulations to me, I'm half-way through!

Says who???

Well guess what…no I’m not because you said I have to add a question…

But I am all the way done for tonight…

It’s late, I’m old, I’m tired…

Good night!

Vote for this shit...

Really...

Visit Mike from Too Many Mornings...

Mike just happens to be one of my favorite bloggers and commenters...

But I digress...

Mike is in the finals of Knucklehead's Blogger Idol-off or some such contest....

And his entry is worth reading and voting for...

Unless you're eating breakfast or lunch or dinner...

Then I suggest you wait a bit...

To read his post...

But hurry to the Knucklehead's voting polls either way...

And vote for Too Many Mornings...

You can't go wrong...

This hits home...

Recovering Catholic that I am...

Each Friday night after work Bubba would fire up his outdoor grill and cook venison steaks for the neighborhood.

All of Bubba's neighbors were Catholic. So during Lent, they were forbidden to eat meat on Friday.

On the Fridays of Lent, the delicious aroma from the grilled venison steaks was causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their priest.

The priest came to visit Bubba and suggested that he become a Catholic.

After several classes and much study Bubba attended Mass.

And as the priest sprinkled holy water over him, he said:

"You were born a Baptist, and raised a Baptist but now you are a Catholic..."

Bubba's neighbors were greatly relieved...

Until the first Friday of the next Lenten season and the wonderful aroma of grilled venison again filled the neighborhood.

The neighbors called the priest immediately...

He rushed into Bubba's yard clutching a rosary and prepared to scold him...

But all he could do was watch in amazement....

There stood Bubba...

Clutching a small bottle of holy water which he carefully sprinkled over the grilling meat and chanted:

"You wuz born a deer, you wuz raised a deer, but now you is a catfish..."

Thanks to my best-looking younger brother for sharing this....

It's SuperBowl Sunday....

And for me that means party time!

Partay...

With the Saints and the Sinners (aka Colts)...

Not that I did any sinning with Peyton Friday...

Since the Browns did not make it to Florida this year my interest in who wins or loses comes down to who's hot and who's not....

Go Peyton!!!!

To bring a little fun to the game, I like to play squares with whoever decides I am fun enough to party with...

I shop for after-Christmas specials and grab at least 5 prizes in the $8-$10 range and 20-30 prizes in the $1-$5 range...

I usually buy extra so the winners always have a choice.

And I buy things I can take back if we do not use them (or that I want and will keep for myself)...

CareBear offered to buy some of the prizes this year and she has much better taste than I do so I cannot wait to see what she bought....

The smaller prizes go to the 4 squares surrounding the winning square at the quarters.

I did buy a few scratch off lotto tickets for the smaller prizes, but I am a scratch-off junkie...

I cannot let them sit around too long without scratching...

So when Ames and G-Man came back early from the Cavs game that they did not have tickets for...

I decided to cheer them up with scratch-offs....

But I was the only one who got cheered up - winning $20 (sorry Superbowl partiers)....

But I used the winnings to buy the Cavs' ticketless couple some food from Red Robin, so they were cheered...

A little anyway...

Why were they ticketless, you ask???

G-Man's birthday present to Ames was club seats at a Cav's game.

Wow, big spender....

And for a weekend game - how did you manage that???

Well, apparently, he didn't...

The ticket taker found a problem with the tickets....

Hmmm, these are for Tuesday's game...

Yep, in the middle of the week....

On a school night....

Wednesday is going to be a bear...

Maybe I should take those tickets off their hands...

Heard over the wall....

...at Peyton PHlaCe....

My wife will not let me play handball any more....

Where's my Peyton????

Early morning t-times let me get back in bed before the wife.....what????

What's your wife doing this weekend???

These numbers suck...

Hey, did you see the memo...we did sucky last year but we did a good job of it...we're getting a bonus!

Let's suck harder next year!

What memo???

What bonus???

Just kidding....no memo...no bonus ...

Damn, FPM, when are you going to learn to keep that shit to yourself???

I forgot they were over there...

Ha - this time I got the memo, too!

Probably by mistake, but can't take it away now!

Not that it will make much difference...

2% of hardly anything is not a whole hell of a lot of motivation to suck harder next year!

But, if I invest it in lotto tickets, maybe I will win the big one...

Now that's a retirement plan!

Peyton Visited the Office Today...

I had to protect him from all the local Saints fans trying to kidnap him....

Yeah...it was a tough job....

But someone had to do it...

Yeah...that's a lot of bull...

This made me laugh out loud in a meeting when I got it so I thought I should share it.....

A DEA officer stops at a ranch in South Dakota, and talks with an old rancher.

DEAO: I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs.
Rancher (pointing over there): Okay, but stay out of that field over
there...
DEAO: Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me.
Rancher: But...
DEAO (pulling his badge out): No buts about it, mister.... See this badge? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish, on any land. No questions asked or answers given. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?
Rancher: Yessir. Pardon me for interfering.

A short time later, the old rancher hears loud screams and sees the DEA officer running for his life...

He is in that field over there being chased by the rancher's big Santa Gertrudis bull......

With every step the bull is gaining ground on the officer, and it seems likely that he'll get gored before he reaches safety.

The officer is clearly terrified, looking in the direction of the rancher for help.

The rancher throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs.....

Your badge! Show him your BADGE !

Urban Mary is.....

Woah...

Way too much....

I took the advice of Moooooog35 over at Mental Poo and looked up my name at urbandictionary.com

Yeah...

So, then I thought I should narrow it down a bit and include my given middle name...

Now I am just:

A woman that a man uses to fill the void in his life.

So what else is new....

However, my chosen name Phillipia is as yet undefined...

A cute habit-wearing fruit-bearing humor blogger.

or...

A habit-wearing fruit-bearing blogger who tries to be cute and funny.

or...

Help me out...

But be gentle, please.

A day late....

Virgo Weekly Horoscope beginning January 30, 2010

Expect to have more people on your domestic scene.
Emotional relationships will be plentiful if you attend group activities.
Think be fore you act.
Unforeseen circumstances will disrupt your daily routine.
Don't be afraid to make a move if you aren't happy with your emotional
situation.
Your lucky day this week will be Tuesday.

Damn, its Wednesday...

yesterday was my lucky day....

And I did not even buy a lotto ticket...

Got to start reading these things at the beginning of the week...

Pa Rock's Dead Pool

I have submitted my entries:

Barack Obama

Tiger Woods

Joe Cocker

Queen Elizabeth

Stephen Tyler

Macaulay Culkin

Betty White

Jack Nicholson

MeatLoaf (I sure hope I am wrong)

OJ Simpson

I do not wish death on any of these people....

I hope none of them are already dead because that would probably disqualify me...

I promise not to help them reach their final destination just for my benefit....

Or for any reason....

You have until midnight to submit your entries to Rocky Macy.

Contest rules are posted at: Pa Rocks Ramble