What I did this summer.....

This summer has been a little crazier than I anticipated...

So crazy that I completely forgot about Phillipia for awhile....

I will try to share some of my summer adventures over the next couple of weeks....

And I hope to start posting regularly again.

I miss Phillipia...

She lets me vent:)

My summer officially ended this past Wednesday when G-Man moved into a dorm at B-W.

Yes - I am an empty nester.

It feels so good...

After I finished  crying....

G-man expected to come home for a visit this weekend.

In fact, I heard wind of a planned get-together with the Willoughby bunch Friday...

What was he thinking????

Mom, I do not think I can come home this weekend...

You thought you would?

Well yeah - I thought we would get weekends off.

Hah - this is college ball, buddy. 

You are theirs....

Seven days a week....

Ok, 6 days - but you better be with family or teammates on that 7th day...

Or feel the wrath of Coach....

Yeah, parents got the same speech you did...

See in a few months...

Or from the stands...

Cheering you on...

 

Open letter to my kids....

Dear CareBear, LDBoy, and G-Man:

If I move into an apartment with an elevator...


And you do not see some evidence of my well being at least once every 24 hours or so...


Call 911...


Please....


I do not want to be found like this...

St. Simons Island couple found dead in home elevator

Thanks for listening,

Mother Phillipia

oPHiCe Rewards

Rumor has it that there is a new reward system soon to be unveiled within the department ....


Someting about peer-to-peer nominations ...


I will be able to nominate some of my peers for rewards for doing a fine job....


I want to make sure I nominate everyone on my team for something...


I am getting a head start on my list...


I would like to nominate (insert name here) for....

• Being the biggest pain in my ass...
• Being the proud owner of the most nasally annoying morning voice...
• Continually finding the most unusually creative ways to suck  up to management...
• Wearing a suit to the office every day ....shouldn't everyone???
• Wearing croc-like flip flops to the office every day ... in the summer...when  not wearing a suit...because you can...and they make you forget you have plantar  fasciitis ....hey, I can give my self an award:)
• Continuous effort to be in the office exactly 40 hours per week... to the minute...no more, no less.....
• Managing to find at least one thing wrong with each and every task your coworkers are assigned...because if it was assigned to you, you would do it right....the first time...
• Keeping a uncannily accurate spreadsheet listing the hours each of your co-workers are in/out of the office each week...down to the minute...
• Professing your belief that noone actually "works" from home....what technology???....if you're not in the office you should be fired...

...to be continued....

Heard around the oPHiCe....today....

* Ok, go to the bathroom... but come right back...


* Is your computer slow ?

* I have been in meetings all day...except for right now...

* Did you see the new managament announcement? Which one???  I got six so far today...

* I would NOT wear that shirt in Ohio....not if you value your life anyway...

* We don't want to mention names...

* Black belts hold up my pants....Black belts hold up my projects....

* I am really pissed right now....

* Is it that time already?

G-Man Learns a Lesson....

When you plan to spend a morning swimming with dolphins....

Do not stay up all night watching "JAWS"...

Yeah....

After a night of  "JAWS"....

A dolphin swimming up behind you to gently lay its nose on your shoulder.....

In hopes of giving you a friendly kiss....

May just happen to feel like a shark....

And make you scream like a little girl....

Or so I heard....

From trustworthy familial sources....

Kudos to Dan Gilbert....

Gotta love this...

Open Letter to Fans from Cavaliers Majority Owner Dan Gilbert

There are no better fans than Cleveland Fans....

...'til you betray them...

Sorry for you, LJ...

Cleveland Rocks!!!!

Quit with the Shit, LJ....

Dear Lebron,

How nice for you that you are blessed with awesome athleticism....

How nice for you that you have all of these teams and towns begging for you....

How NOT nice of you to play this game with Cleveland....

No matter what you tell us you have decided tonight, know that I have lost a lot of respect for you...

I know that my respect does not matter to you....

But I remember when you were at StVs...

Just 2 years behind LDBoy when he was at rival Hoban....

I remember all the hype then...

I did not follow it closely but I liked that it was getting some good publicity for the school....

Though I kind of felt bad for the rest of the team because they did not get to make the memory of playing their last home game in their home court senior year...

But that is the Mom in me...

And I heard through the grapevine that you took care of some of your teammates after you made the big league...

And I liked that...

And I hear about some of the stuff you still do for the neighborhood you grew up in...

And for your Mom...

And I like that....

I also heard that you could be an asshole at times to some of the guys in your age group who you were not so close to...

But I chalked that up to the age....

You may have been a superstar at 21, but you were still...21...

But this Bull Shit you are pulling now...

Either you want to stay in Cleveland because you grew up close by and have friends and family here....

...or

You don't....

If you want to go somewhere where you THINK you have a better chance of getting a ring or two - because that is what is so important to you....

Then you should JUST SAY SO and GO!

In fact, IMHO, you should just have come clean a long while back....

Either tell them to go to hell....

Or tell us to go to hell...

But QUIT playing with us....

And media hogging it....

It is not becoming....

Most of us have other much more pressing issues to worry about...

Either way, I will always be a Cleveland fans....

GO CAVS!!!!

GO  BROWNS!!!!

GO INDIANS!!!!

Route for the hometown team....

That's just part of who I am...

Not respecting you much anymore,

Phillipia

Small world....

I was looking at a friend's 4th of july family reunion pics in facebook....

And there staring back at me was one of LDBoy's friends....

For a moment I thought I clicked on the wrong profile....

Double checked that...

And then I thought - I must be seeing things...

So I asked G-Man's opinion...

Who does this look like, G-Man?
Uh, its Linds, Mom...no looking like...
Yeah but this is a pic from Nanc's family reunion...
Your friend, Nanc? How does she know Linds?

Small world....

Especially since one of Nanc's nephews are also football and track teammates of G-Man's...

How many other ways can this long time friendship bring our families together????

I should have married a tiger....

I would be doing pretty good about now....

Report: Tiger-Elin divorce final; she gets $750 million

God knows he could not have kept it in his pants for me...

A lot of wind....

2010 Hurricanes...


They have the names all picked out...

I was wondering who they might be named after and what they may have to say for themsleves....

Alex Trebek: I'll take big winds for 150....


Bonnie Parker: You know what, when we started out, I thought we was really goin' somewhere. This is it. We're just goin', huh?

Colin Farrell: I'm in no hurry to get anywhere. I don't have any plans. I don't have a map.

Danielle Steel: I did it at night because I loved it.

James Earl Jones: I got enough C4 in my ass to level a city block!

Princess Fiona: I don't understand - I'm supposed to be beautiful.

Gaston: I'm roughly the size of a barge!

Hermine: I'm French - and that's all you need to know...

Igor Stravinsky: My music is best understood by children and animals...

Julia Roberts: I'm an utterly average, total geek.

Karl Wolf: I gotta need to freak you out..

Lisa Simpson: I know a way to get out of this.

Matthew Perry: I used to be a real prince charming...

Nicole Kidman: What's the point of doing something good if nobody's watching?

Otto Von Bismarck: The main thing is to make history...

Paula Abdul: When people expect me to go right, I`ll go left. I`m unpredictable.

Richard Nixon: Well, I screwed it up real good, didn't I?

Shary Bobbins: Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala(Annoyed Grunt)cious

Thomas Edison: Let there be light!

Virginie Ledoyen: I have a pleasant level of life...

Walter Cronkite: And that’s the way it is...

If you do not recognize some of these names...

Neither do I....

Google search is awesome...

Strategy...

So....

I had to attend - by phone - a mandatory strategy meeting today...

It was fun...

Especially since it was given by someone outside of the product team I am in...

And who presented as if she were talking only to her team...

Let me share some highlights from the meeting....

Most of us agrees that our job is more important than selling rubber tires...

I am not so sure I agree...If the tires on my car blow out everytime the spring breaks on my Ford POS I think someone who can sell me decent tires without needing the manual translated has a pretty important job....

But maybe that is just me...

Some thought provoking questions were posed....

Why do you do what you do every day?

To make money to pay the bills...duh

Okay, maybe that one was not so though provoking...

What is it about you work that makes you passionate?

I get passionate about people trying to find something wrong with everything everyone else does....bitchingly passionate...

What is it about you work that inspires you???

When I see the back-stabbing butt kissers getting promotions and pay increases, I am inspired to....contact my HH guy...

How's Alex...

Wet and windy...
The ocean is getting closer to our front door every minute....

Reason #1 not to move to Belize....

Even tho the days are mostly sunny...

And the barrier reef is beautiful...

And I could work from the swim-up bar...

And everyone is so much more laid back....

Alex and friends tend to visit too often to suit me...

Yeah, Alex is the first tropical storm since LDBoy moved to Belize...

But worrying he and AC survive this one will hold me over for a good long time....

And I do not think I would want to live through it personally...

I am a baby about wind and water together...

Stay safe boys...

Talk to you in a couple of days....

If not sooner...

A mission from God...

Yes!!!!

Vatican Recognizes 'Blues Brothers' as Catholic Film

I realized this the first time I saw it...

OPHiCe Politics...

I think I have it figured out....

The nastier you are to those who work with and for you...

And the more you point out what they do wrong and how you could do it better if only you were given the chance....

The better you look in the eyes of upper management..

And the more kudos you get in the form of reward points and pay increases...

Lucky I do not care how I look to upper management....

Unfortunately, the pay increase would be a blessing...

So I am practicing...

Shitting on people...

I am not very good at it...

Any advice?

Happy Father's Day!

To all the Dads out there....

Especially mine...

I love you Dad...

Even when I do not like everything you do...

or did...

or will do...

But maybe I can use you to make a few bucks, like Justin...

Shit My Dad Says

I think I will start visiting more and writing down shit you say...

I have to write it down because I am older than Justin and cannot remember what you said at breakfast this morning...

But I know it was funny, because I do remember laughing...

Only you did not think it was funny...you were serious...

Which means I could probably make some money off of it...

If  only I can remember what it was...

Getting old sucks, Dad.

Yeah, I know you know that better than me...

And I know you never say "shit" or "fuck"...

At least not when you think I can hear you...

Phat Phil....where are you?

I think Phat Phil may return to this blog in the very near future...

Stay tuned.

Flight Tracking....

So the kids were on on their way back from Cozumel...


I was not sure what flight they were on or what airlines...

I just knew they would get into Cleveland about 10:00 PM...

I am not much of a flyer, so I rarely check the status of  flight arrivals/departures...


But, for kicks and giggles, I thought I would see if I could figure out what flight they were on and when exactly G-Man would be home....


So I could get all the guys out before he got there...


Clean up after my week of partying....


But I digress...


Anyway, it was easy enough to figure out what flight they were probably on...


And what I thought was even cooler was that I could track the flight in real time...


As it is flying over the Gulf of Mexico...


Heading for Dallas Fort Worth....

To DFW: 992 miles
From CZM: 165 miles

To DFW: 857 miles
From CZM: 200 miles 

To DFW: 797 miles
From CZM: 260 miles

To DFW: 797 miles
From CZM: 260 miles

To DFW: 797 miles
From CZM: 260 miles

To DFW: 797 miles
From CZM: 260 miles

WTF???????


Is it stuck????


Did it go down????

To DFW: 483 miles
From CZM: 574miles

Whew...that's better.


Note to Airlines...


If you are going to update real time...


Update consistently....


I wonder how many phone calls they get from first time users like myself?

Did the plane go down?????

Are my kids OK???

Why did it stop in the middle of the ocean for 20 minutes???? 

There's an oil spill down there ya know...

I didn't call....


Really, I didn't...


Well, I did, but while I was dialing, the real time update updated....


 

Peyton PHlaCe survey says....

So management recently sent out a survey about helath benefits for the next year...

One of the questions asked:

Would you be willing to follow a program to reduce the cost of your health insurance premiums?

You mean a Peyton PHlaCe Activity Monitor program????

Sure, no problem...

We all know how that works...

Throw it in the dryer for 18-20 mins on low and you have reached your goal for the day.

Dryer on the fritz? 

No problem.... 

Let you cat wear it around its neck while you chase it with a laser pen....

No cat????

No problem....

Twirl it like a set of car keys as you watch your favorite show....

Or as you sit in that long-ass meeting about the state of the company....

Life is good...

Open Letter to my kids....

I love you guys....

I like your friends, too...

Most of them, anyway.

And I like some of them because I like them - not just because they are your friends...

So....


Having said that.....


Forgive me if I do not understand when you feel the need - as all of you have in the not too distant past - to message me something to this effect....

Mom, quit posting on so and so's wall - I am not talking to them anymore...

A simple:

Wow, so and so is such a bastard/bitch/ashole....you would not believe what he/she did...I am not talking to her/him

...would suffice....

Then I can make up my own mind about whether or not I post on his/her wall....

I may have something to say to the bastard/bitch/asshole...

....

...

....

Just saying...

Being short is bad for your health....

Who would have thunk?

Short People at Risk for Heart Problems: Risk is 50 Percent Greater
Ya gotta love some of the possible explanations in this article...

Being short might be a result of being poor, meaning people of small stature could be undernourished and vulnerable to health problems in general.

There could be a biological explanation, such as a hormone imbalance that hurts the heart.

Because short people have smaller arteries, those could theoretically get clogged quicker with cholesterol and be more easily damaged by any changes in blood pressure

And, as the study's lead author says:

"Height is only one factor (among many) that may contribute to heart disease risk...focus on other things like not smoking, eating a balanced diet and exercise. Those are easier to change than your height."

And to that I say:

"Duhhh!"

I have been trying to grow up for years - it is just not happening...

Truthfully, I think the risk for heart problems is higher for short people like myself because we have a bigger, more giving heart...

And after all that giving...well there is only so much heart ...


But for once I am glad my kids took after their dad's family - at least in the height department.




And no matter what ....
 
Short people rock!