I'll drink to that!

The best news ever....
 

Heavy Drinkers Outlive Non-Drinkers

Pass the salt, and the lemon, and Jose:)

Back to School...

And that means shopping for supplies...

And back to school clothes....

Unless you are taking online classes....

Then you do not get to shop for new clothes...

Or...

Do you???

I hear Sears has a sale on PJ's.

And Snuggies are popular again....

Dreams...

Not the good kind...

I had some really weird dreams the other night....

I dreamt that G-Man's dorm mate was ...well not as nice as he seems....

But G-man was ok with losing $100 from his pocket and seeing DormMates back pocket look $100 fatter...

Where the hell did you get $100 G-Man????

Share the wealth, son....

And then - in the same night, I dreamt that Carebear and K were told by their landlord (who in truth is the ex - gotta hate him) that she had to vacate the house immediately....

He was moving someone else in....

His Mom....

Then I kept wondering why his Mom would move from her house to....her house....

Aren't they treating you right in heaven, Mom?

And then....

I woke up...

Thank the Lord...

Because I have no clue what all that was about....

I am not having a graduation party....

Yeah - I got invited to a ton of graduation parties this summer...

I declined most of them.

I did not have the energy to visit with the extended families of more than a few members of the class of 2010.

I am just not social enough to walk into a party by myself not knowing who would be there that I know...

And then get questioned about why I was not having a party for G-man...

Why should I ????

I did not have one for CareBear or LDBoy when they graduated.

Why not?

Our family is not that extended and it got a little less extended this past year.

And I did not feel like erecting an altar to G-man like  I noticed at some other in parties ....

There would just not be an altar big enough....

Seriously, the kid has a closet full of trophies....

Just picking out the best ones would have filled a picnic table...

Unless of course I chose to display his academic awards...

Those might fill a serving tray...on a high chair...

Just kidding G-Man.

G-Man ended up putting his own party together ...

For just his friends...

Dad offered to supply the venue...his several acre farm in Brimtucky...
 
Same as he did for CareBear and LDBoy when they graduaaed

I provided food and beverages (non alcoholic - his friends are minors)...

And the altar....

Which consisted only of memory collages....

No trophies or awards...

Just photos upon photos upon photos of G-Man growing up....

I managed to keep the em-bare-assing photos to a minimum....

And as with previous parties at his place, Dad was once again totally taken by surprise at the quanity of G-Man's friend...

And the quality....

Of course, quality diminished as the night wore on...

Even the nicest of kids get a lil crazy after imbibing in whatever it was they brought to imbibe in....

Dad woke in the morning to...

...trash spread all over his 20  plus acres...

...sleeping bodies in the drive, on the barn floor, in several cars, and in the fiields near a dying bonfire....

...horns blaring every few minutes when another of the kids fell asleep and did a face plant on his/her steering wheel...

I heard stories the next day from a few of the attendees.

Supposedly it was the best grad party of the summer  - hands down....

And all I did was set up - supply some food  - and leave....

I was not going to be anywhere near that place in the morning....

I know what my small condo looks like the morning after a only a handfull of kids crash there...

I am hooked....

I do not watch television much...
In fact, I have not had the tv on since G-Man headed off to college.

Note to self - call cable company and cancel service....

Actually, I can watch everything I want to watch right on my laptop.


I do not need to stinking big screen or HD whatever....


And what do I want to watch?


You asked - I heard you....


Well, I seem to only watch shows my kids get me hooked on...


Or that I watch because I am in the room when they are watching...

• Gilmore Girls...

CareBear and I watched faithfully...then CareBear went off to college, and well, I sort of quit keeping up....

• South Park & Family Guy....

I watch these when G-Man or LDBoy are watching but never seek them out on my own.

• The Office ...

I used to actually sometimes make a half-hearted attempt to be home for this show....tho I have not kept up with that lately...Pam got Jim...the suspense has ended...or maybe it is just not as funny anymore...is is still on the air?

• Modern Family....

I love that show..because it makes me LOL....thank you LDBoy for turning me on to that....but I still do not watch it by myself...visit soon....

But the winner is....wait for it...

• HIMYM...

I love Barney...actually, I hate Barney - so much that I love him; he is just so Legen....wait for it....

I am actually watching this one by myself when noone else is here to watch with me.... 

I am almost through season 4...

I am addicted...

Gotta get back to it...

What I did this summer.....

This summer has been a little crazier than I anticipated...

So crazy that I completely forgot about Phillipia for awhile....

I will try to share some of my summer adventures over the next couple of weeks....

And I hope to start posting regularly again.

I miss Phillipia...

She lets me vent:)

My summer officially ended this past Wednesday when G-Man moved into a dorm at B-W.

Yes - I am an empty nester.

It feels so good...

After I finished  crying....

G-man expected to come home for a visit this weekend.

In fact, I heard wind of a planned get-together with the Willoughby bunch Friday...

What was he thinking????

Mom, I do not think I can come home this weekend...

You thought you would?

Well yeah - I thought we would get weekends off.

Hah - this is college ball, buddy. 

You are theirs....

Seven days a week....

Ok, 6 days - but you better be with family or teammates on that 7th day...

Or feel the wrath of Coach....

Yeah, parents got the same speech you did...

See in a few months...

Or from the stands...

Cheering you on...

 

Open letter to my kids....

Dear CareBear, LDBoy, and G-Man:

If I move into an apartment with an elevator...


And you do not see some evidence of my well being at least once every 24 hours or so...


Call 911...


Please....


I do not want to be found like this...

St. Simons Island couple found dead in home elevator

Thanks for listening,

Mother Phillipia

oPHiCe Rewards

Rumor has it that there is a new reward system soon to be unveiled within the department ....


Someting about peer-to-peer nominations ...


I will be able to nominate some of my peers for rewards for doing a fine job....


I want to make sure I nominate everyone on my team for something...


I am getting a head start on my list...


I would like to nominate (insert name here) for....

• Being the biggest pain in my ass...
• Being the proud owner of the most nasally annoying morning voice...
• Continually finding the most unusually creative ways to suck  up to management...
• Wearing a suit to the office every day ....shouldn't everyone???
• Wearing croc-like flip flops to the office every day ... in the summer...when  not wearing a suit...because you can...and they make you forget you have plantar  fasciitis ....hey, I can give my self an award:)
• Continuous effort to be in the office exactly 40 hours per week... to the minute...no more, no less.....
• Managing to find at least one thing wrong with each and every task your coworkers are assigned...because if it was assigned to you, you would do it right....the first time...
• Keeping a uncannily accurate spreadsheet listing the hours each of your co-workers are in/out of the office each week...down to the minute...
• Professing your belief that noone actually "works" from home....what technology???....if you're not in the office you should be fired...

...to be continued....

Heard around the oPHiCe....today....

* Ok, go to the bathroom... but come right back...


* Is your computer slow ?

* I have been in meetings all day...except for right now...

* Did you see the new managament announcement? Which one???  I got six so far today...

* I would NOT wear that shirt in Ohio....not if you value your life anyway...

* We don't want to mention names...

* Black belts hold up my pants....Black belts hold up my projects....

* I am really pissed right now....

* Is it that time already?

G-Man Learns a Lesson....

When you plan to spend a morning swimming with dolphins....

Do not stay up all night watching "JAWS"...

Yeah....

After a night of  "JAWS"....

A dolphin swimming up behind you to gently lay its nose on your shoulder.....

In hopes of giving you a friendly kiss....

May just happen to feel like a shark....

And make you scream like a little girl....

Or so I heard....

From trustworthy familial sources....

Kudos to Dan Gilbert....

Gotta love this...

Open Letter to Fans from Cavaliers Majority Owner Dan Gilbert

There are no better fans than Cleveland Fans....

...'til you betray them...

Sorry for you, LJ...

Cleveland Rocks!!!!

Quit with the Shit, LJ....

Dear Lebron,

How nice for you that you are blessed with awesome athleticism....

How nice for you that you have all of these teams and towns begging for you....

How NOT nice of you to play this game with Cleveland....

No matter what you tell us you have decided tonight, know that I have lost a lot of respect for you...

I know that my respect does not matter to you....

But I remember when you were at StVs...

Just 2 years behind LDBoy when he was at rival Hoban....

I remember all the hype then...

I did not follow it closely but I liked that it was getting some good publicity for the school....

Though I kind of felt bad for the rest of the team because they did not get to make the memory of playing their last home game in their home court senior year...

But that is the Mom in me...

And I heard through the grapevine that you took care of some of your teammates after you made the big league...

And I liked that...

And I hear about some of the stuff you still do for the neighborhood you grew up in...

And for your Mom...

And I like that....

I also heard that you could be an asshole at times to some of the guys in your age group who you were not so close to...

But I chalked that up to the age....

You may have been a superstar at 21, but you were still...21...

But this Bull Shit you are pulling now...

Either you want to stay in Cleveland because you grew up close by and have friends and family here....

...or

You don't....

If you want to go somewhere where you THINK you have a better chance of getting a ring or two - because that is what is so important to you....

Then you should JUST SAY SO and GO!

In fact, IMHO, you should just have come clean a long while back....

Either tell them to go to hell....

Or tell us to go to hell...

But QUIT playing with us....

And media hogging it....

It is not becoming....

Most of us have other much more pressing issues to worry about...

Either way, I will always be a Cleveland fans....

GO CAVS!!!!

GO  BROWNS!!!!

GO INDIANS!!!!

Route for the hometown team....

That's just part of who I am...

Not respecting you much anymore,

Phillipia

Small world....

I was looking at a friend's 4th of july family reunion pics in facebook....

And there staring back at me was one of LDBoy's friends....

For a moment I thought I clicked on the wrong profile....

Double checked that...

And then I thought - I must be seeing things...

So I asked G-Man's opinion...

Who does this look like, G-Man?
Uh, its Linds, Mom...no looking like...
Yeah but this is a pic from Nanc's family reunion...
Your friend, Nanc? How does she know Linds?

Small world....

Especially since one of Nanc's nephews are also football and track teammates of G-Man's...

How many other ways can this long time friendship bring our families together????

I should have married a tiger....

I would be doing pretty good about now....

Report: Tiger-Elin divorce final; she gets $750 million

God knows he could not have kept it in his pants for me...

A lot of wind....

2010 Hurricanes...


They have the names all picked out...

I was wondering who they might be named after and what they may have to say for themsleves....

Alex Trebek: I'll take big winds for 150....


Bonnie Parker: You know what, when we started out, I thought we was really goin' somewhere. This is it. We're just goin', huh?

Colin Farrell: I'm in no hurry to get anywhere. I don't have any plans. I don't have a map.

Danielle Steel: I did it at night because I loved it.

James Earl Jones: I got enough C4 in my ass to level a city block!

Princess Fiona: I don't understand - I'm supposed to be beautiful.

Gaston: I'm roughly the size of a barge!

Hermine: I'm French - and that's all you need to know...

Igor Stravinsky: My music is best understood by children and animals...

Julia Roberts: I'm an utterly average, total geek.

Karl Wolf: I gotta need to freak you out..

Lisa Simpson: I know a way to get out of this.

Matthew Perry: I used to be a real prince charming...

Nicole Kidman: What's the point of doing something good if nobody's watching?

Otto Von Bismarck: The main thing is to make history...

Paula Abdul: When people expect me to go right, I`ll go left. I`m unpredictable.

Richard Nixon: Well, I screwed it up real good, didn't I?

Shary Bobbins: Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala(Annoyed Grunt)cious

Thomas Edison: Let there be light!

Virginie Ledoyen: I have a pleasant level of life...

Walter Cronkite: And that’s the way it is...

If you do not recognize some of these names...

Neither do I....

Google search is awesome...

Strategy...

So....

I had to attend - by phone - a mandatory strategy meeting today...

It was fun...

Especially since it was given by someone outside of the product team I am in...

And who presented as if she were talking only to her team...

Let me share some highlights from the meeting....

Most of us agrees that our job is more important than selling rubber tires...

I am not so sure I agree...If the tires on my car blow out everytime the spring breaks on my Ford POS I think someone who can sell me decent tires without needing the manual translated has a pretty important job....

But maybe that is just me...

Some thought provoking questions were posed....

Why do you do what you do every day?

To make money to pay the bills...duh

Okay, maybe that one was not so though provoking...

What is it about you work that makes you passionate?

I get passionate about people trying to find something wrong with everything everyone else does....bitchingly passionate...

What is it about you work that inspires you???

When I see the back-stabbing butt kissers getting promotions and pay increases, I am inspired to....contact my HH guy...

How's Alex...

Wet and windy...
The ocean is getting closer to our front door every minute....

Reason #1 not to move to Belize....

Even tho the days are mostly sunny...

And the barrier reef is beautiful...

And I could work from the swim-up bar...

And everyone is so much more laid back....

Alex and friends tend to visit too often to suit me...

Yeah, Alex is the first tropical storm since LDBoy moved to Belize...

But worrying he and AC survive this one will hold me over for a good long time....

And I do not think I would want to live through it personally...

I am a baby about wind and water together...

Stay safe boys...

Talk to you in a couple of days....

If not sooner...

A mission from God...

Yes!!!!

Vatican Recognizes 'Blues Brothers' as Catholic Film

I realized this the first time I saw it...

OPHiCe Politics...

I think I have it figured out....

The nastier you are to those who work with and for you...

And the more you point out what they do wrong and how you could do it better if only you were given the chance....

The better you look in the eyes of upper management..

And the more kudos you get in the form of reward points and pay increases...

Lucky I do not care how I look to upper management....

Unfortunately, the pay increase would be a blessing...

So I am practicing...

Shitting on people...

I am not very good at it...

Any advice?

Happy Father's Day!

To all the Dads out there....

Especially mine...

I love you Dad...

Even when I do not like everything you do...

or did...

or will do...

But maybe I can use you to make a few bucks, like Justin...

Shit My Dad Says

I think I will start visiting more and writing down shit you say...

I have to write it down because I am older than Justin and cannot remember what you said at breakfast this morning...

But I know it was funny, because I do remember laughing...

Only you did not think it was funny...you were serious...

Which means I could probably make some money off of it...

If  only I can remember what it was...

Getting old sucks, Dad.

Yeah, I know you know that better than me...

And I know you never say "shit" or "fuck"...

At least not when you think I can hear you...