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Having an orgasm at least three times a week cuts in half the likelihood of death from coronary heart disease.I have a lot of catching up to do....
Seems I drafted this post In October but never posted....
What was I thinking????
Well, here you go.....
Woman accused of choking Elyria Walmart greeter gets jail
I did not need a survey to know that...
Survey: Scientists, marketing professionals need coffee the most
I have a couple of vices....One, as you know, is gambling...A couple of weeks ago, when I was attempting to satisy this particular vice, someone knocked me on my butt in the casino parking lot....
Some would have taken that as a sign from above that maybe I should give up this vice...
I did not see it that way...
I am still attempting to recover from that little incident...
I would probably recover quicker if I did not have such an aversion to doctor/hospital visits, but that is a topic for some other post...
Another vice of mine is drinking...As in alcohol...Not that I am an AA candidate...Yet....
But I do like a beer or two a couple of times a week...
Or a glass (or bottle) of wine or two a couple of days a week...
Or a shot or two or three or four a couple of times a month or so...
Anyway...
I was in the local Big Bird grocery store the other day and decided to pick up a bottle or two of something that would satisfy this vice...
As I am pushing my cart in that direction, I see another customer coming at me with her cart...
Unfortunately, there was a display shelf of wine between us....
And she was not looking where she was going...
She slammed into the wine display....
Several bottles came flying at me....
Several more bottles crashed on the floor in front of me...
I jumped out of the eay as best I could...
Considering I was still nursing my foot from the previously mentioned encounter with someone else who was operating a vehicle without looking where they were going...
Let me just say that wine bottles do not hurt as bad as automobiles...
I walked away with a couple of minor cuts...
Again, some would have considered that incident as a sign from above that maybe I should give up that vice....
But not this someone...
After all, vodka and cranberry sure help dull the pain...
And the frustration...
Because the someone driving the cart conveniently disappeared down the next aisle...
And I was left trying to convince the two young store employees that, even though I was the one bleeding on their floor, I was not the one who ran into the display...
I should have asked to see a manager...
But I just wanted to be on my way...
Maybe I should just stick to coffee...
AARP: Once you're 50, goodbye Jell-O shots, saying panties plus other dos and don'ts
Report: Men are more likely to be struck by lightning
Until recently, Ms. Ant arrived at her place of work very early everyday and started work immediately. She produced a lot and she was happy to do so. She enjoyed her job.
Mr. Lion, the CEO of the company where Ms. Ant worked, was surprised to see that Ms. Ant worked without supervision and yet produced so much....
And he could not help but wonder how much more Ms. Ant would produce if she were supervised...
So, Mr. Lion recruited Mr. Cockroach, who had extensive experience as a supervisor and who was famous for writing extensive reports.
Mr. Cockroach's first order of business was to set up a clocking-in attendance system.
And, of course, he needed to hire an admin person to write and type his reports, and...
He recruited young Mr. Spider to manage the archives amd monitor all phone calls.
Mr. Lion was delighted with mr. cockroach's reports and asked him to produce graphs to describe production rates and analyze trends so that he could present them at B of D meetings.
Well, Mr. cockroach needed a newer/better computer and a laser printer to prepare those graphs...
And someone to manage the new IT department...
Enter Mr. Fly....
Ms. Ant started feeling the pressure. She used to be so relaxed and productive. But now she had a plethora of paperwork and meetings to attend which got in the way of her "real" work.
Meanwhile, Mr. Lion decided it was time to put someone in charge of the growing department. And for that position, he hired Mr. Cicada...
Who also needed a compter and carpet and an ergonomic chair for his office...
And a personal assistant, who he brought from his previous place of employment, to help him prepare a Work and Budget Control Strategic Optimisation Plan.....
Ms. Ant was not liking the idea of coming into work anymore. She was not having a bit of fun.
Mr. Cicada noticed that department morale was down and convinced Mr. Lion of the absolute necessity of a climatic study of the office environment.
However, after reviewing the increasing costs for running the department and realizing that production was down, Mr. Lion decided it was time for an audit....
So....
He hired Mr. Owl, a prestigious and renowned consultant. to perform the audit and make suggestions....
Mr. Owl spent the next three months in the department and produced a 6-volume report....
Mr. Owl's conclusion: The department is overstaffed.
And who is the first to go????
Ms. Ant of course....
Because of her lack of motivation and negative attitude...
The closed trunk to throw my purse in....
and....
That's it.......
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