A question from the turkey...

"Why on this day does everyone feel the need to roast a turkey and candy yams and bake apple crisp and knead bread dough and mash potatoes and clear the table and wash the dishes and fall into bed exhausted when they could just as easily sit back and enjoy a hamburger or a pork sandwich?"

Thought for the day...

Mom's Turkey Recipe

Thanksgiving is at my house this year....and I guess my mom did not like the turkey I made the last Thanksgiving at my house because she sent me this email this morning...

Here is a recipe perfect for people like you-who obviously cannot tell
when the turkey is thoroughly cooked, but not dried out.
(I do not know why you continue to trust those pop up thermometers.)
Baked Stuffed Turkey
10-12 lb Turkey
1 cup melted butter
2 cups stuffing
2 cups uncooked popcorn
Salt/pepper to taste
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Thoroughly clean your kitchen floor and sink area.
Brush turkey well with melted butter salt, and pepper.
Fill cavity with stuffing and popcorn. Place in baking pan withthe
neck end toward the back of the oven. Listen for the popping sounds.
When the turkey's ass blows the oven door open and the turkey flies across the room, it's done!!!

Thanks Mom.

Blondes do have more fun...

A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY.

The lawyer asks the blonde if she would like to play a fun game.

The blonde, who is tired, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.

The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun.

He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vise versa."

Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep.

The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00."

This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.

The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"

The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer.

"Okay, " the lawyer continues. "Your turn."

She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"

The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references but he can't find an answer.

He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the Library of Congress, but he still has no answer.

Frustrated, he e-mails all his friends and coworkers, which turns out to be to no avail.

After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500.00.

The blonde says, "Thank you," and turns back to get some more sleep.

The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"

Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.