Rank this.....

So this week is "rank your people" week at Peyton PHlaCe....

All the managers/supervisors are off-site ranking their underlings...

And FPMs are ranking those who have worked on their Ps....

Coincidentally, or not, I received an email this morning asking me if I trusted upper management...

Apparently. a recent survey indicated that not a sufficient number of people trusted upper managemnent to make upper management happy....

So they decided to ask us individually...

Anonomously, of course...

Of course....

Of course, me being me, I replied that I did not trust the guys at the top...

So...next question....

Why Not????

Ok....they asked for it....

And they got it...

MHO that is....

Why would  I trust a management system that fosters competition and backstabbing in the workplace????


Why do managers have to rank their subordinates?


A simple "I would/would not keep her/him" seems to me to be sufficient ranking criteria....


Knowing that someone in your group has to be ranked 1 =  lowest does not seem good for morale....


Personally, I would hope that everyone on my team deserves a 4 or 5 ranking....


And not a 4 or 5 that they are the best on the team...


But that they know what they are doing and are doing their best to do things right.


That way, I know they are doing their job....


And that makes my job easier...

Yeah, I wrote that.....

Because, as it stands now, instead of trusting that my coworkers are doing a good job, my coworkers are regularly looking over my shoulder....

Trying to catch me in mistakes....

Because if I get caught in more mistakes than they do....

Well, its all about the rankings...

Nothing personal...

Well, unfortunately for me, I am not trying to catch their mistakes...

I am too busy making my own....

Gotta love office politics....

Ok, new resolution for 2011:

Find a way to work for myself.....

Office treats....

It is the second day back to work and there are leftover treats everywhere....

It seems I am not the only one who over-baked and under-entertained this holiday season.

Which makes my Chinese New Year resolution even more appealing...

And this treat from a friend....

The 2010 TSA Statistics on airport screenings are in...

The screenings exposed:

• 0 Terrorist Plots
• 133 Transvestites
• 1,485 Hernias
• 3,172 Hemorrhoid Cases
• 8,249 Enlarged Prostates
• 59,350 Breast Implants
• 3 Natural Blondes 

Peyton PHlaCe has my well-being at heart....

So Peyton PHlaCe has a new product that I - as a lucky employee - can obtain free of charge. This product monitors my activity level and thus my my calorie expenditure.

This nifty little monitoring device dangles close to my heart on a fashionable leather necklace...

And it comes with software and a USB interface for easy data synchronization...(they are watching).

I decided when the offer to be a guinea pig for this device came knocking on my cubicle, I had best take advantage. You see, on my last performance review, my boss (who I really love - but who lives on the other side of the country and has no f-ing clue how I spend my off hours) wanted to include as one of my goals for this year that I start an exercise program...

Hmmmm...okay....how about I start going to Bally's three more f-ing days a week...maybe, say, twice a day, 3 hours at a time...am I too fat for you? Ohhhh, I see...you think I'd feel better. I'll tell ya what would make me feel better...but I might get fired...

Deep breaths....

Yeah....so anyway...I ordered the monitor and installed the software and read the user manual....

The first eight days are a baseline period...sort of an evaluation.

So, how do I want to play this? Well I "forgot" to wear my monitor most of the first week...I would forget to put it on in the morning and remember to put it on when I was sitting down to watch TV or read a book or blog.

And who knew the damn thing was waterproof? Not me...so I took it off when I went swimming - the only actual exercise I do....

Since the monitor measures total body movement...well you get the picture...

You are like David. David works long hours and drives everywhere. Your goal is to increase your calorie expenditure to 399 calories per day.

Hmmm...David was looking pretty hot in his picture. I am ok being like David.

But I do have a mid-year performance appraisal coming up, so I had better try to pull this off....

Now that I am almost done with the first week of real monitoring, I am a model student - heck yeah...I am #1 (out of a zillion - cuz every PHC employee around the world has one of these toys).

I get up to pee...I have done 200% of what I did during the eval time and I have burned 20% of my calories. OK, now for a run up the steps.......ding...ding...ding...100% of my goal...I can take the rest of the day off....

And blog:)

I wonder if they need someone to try out the newest version of the defibrillator...

John Kevin, you play dead and I'll try to restart your heart....ooops, I missed.

100 People Surveyed....

On of the ladies in our office loves Family Feud, so much so that she plays a version at home with her family. But....wouldn't it be awesome, she wishes out loud, if she could have the buzzer apparatus for her own version of Family Feud. Wishing out loud in an office full of geeky engineers has its advantages....Wola...Family Feud...PHC Customer Service style....a box (very nicely varnished box) with two buttons and lots of lights and sounds.

And of course it needs testing and who better to test than a writer, an apps person, and 2 NPI CS techs.....its Office Feud at Noon.....

Favorite Questions....

• What is the most annoying thing about the Project Manager No. 1?
• What is the favorite place men want to stick their peter?
• What is the favorite pet peeve of office workers.

We need more Office Feud questions...readers help us out here....