Open letter to my kids....

Dear CareBear, LDBoy, and G-Man:

If I move into an apartment with an elevator...


And you do not see some evidence of my well being at least once every 24 hours or so...


Call 911...


Please....


I do not want to be found like this...

St. Simons Island couple found dead in home elevator

Thanks for listening,

Mother Phillipia

oPHiCe Rewards

Rumor has it that there is a new reward system soon to be unveiled within the department ....


Someting about peer-to-peer nominations ...


I will be able to nominate some of my peers for rewards for doing a fine job....


I want to make sure I nominate everyone on my team for something...


I am getting a head start on my list...


I would like to nominate (insert name here) for....

• Being the biggest pain in my ass...
• Being the proud owner of the most nasally annoying morning voice...
• Continually finding the most unusually creative ways to suck  up to management...
• Wearing a suit to the office every day ....shouldn't everyone???
• Wearing croc-like flip flops to the office every day ... in the summer...when  not wearing a suit...because you can...and they make you forget you have plantar  fasciitis ....hey, I can give my self an award:)
• Continuous effort to be in the office exactly 40 hours per week... to the minute...no more, no less.....
• Managing to find at least one thing wrong with each and every task your coworkers are assigned...because if it was assigned to you, you would do it right....the first time...
• Keeping a uncannily accurate spreadsheet listing the hours each of your co-workers are in/out of the office each week...down to the minute...
• Professing your belief that noone actually "works" from home....what technology???....if you're not in the office you should be fired...

...to be continued....

Heard around the oPHiCe....today....

* Ok, go to the bathroom... but come right back...


* Is your computer slow ?

* I have been in meetings all day...except for right now...

* Did you see the new managament announcement? Which one???  I got six so far today...

* I would NOT wear that shirt in Ohio....not if you value your life anyway...

* We don't want to mention names...

* Black belts hold up my pants....Black belts hold up my projects....

* I am really pissed right now....

* Is it that time already?

G-Man Learns a Lesson....

When you plan to spend a morning swimming with dolphins....

Do not stay up all night watching "JAWS"...

Yeah....

After a night of  "JAWS"....

A dolphin swimming up behind you to gently lay its nose on your shoulder.....

In hopes of giving you a friendly kiss....

May just happen to feel like a shark....

And make you scream like a little girl....

Or so I heard....

From trustworthy familial sources....