I'd like to share...

A few random thoughts...

• I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
  
  
• More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.
  
  
• Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when I realize I'm wrong, very wrong. Yeah, it happens...to me...a lot:(
  
  
• When someone says: "I don't need to drink to have fun," all I can think is "No one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when you've got a lighter?"
  
  
• I totally wish I could take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was a kid...I'd probably be a lot less tired now.
  
  
• Why isn't there a sarcasm font?
  
  
• I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history when you die.
  
  
• The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text or put on eyeliner.
  
  
• A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. I mentioned this to my kids..."Duh, Mom; but we don't suck at it, so don't worry."
  
  
• Was learning cursive really necessary? How many people's writing can you actually read? And Adobe has taken care of your signature...
  
  
• I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
  
  
• How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just start nodding and smiling because you can't understand someone's broken English and pressing 1 doesn't work in everyday conversation...
  
  
• I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a fucktard from cutting in at the front. Left lane ends...you were warned 3 miles back...
  
  
• While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.
  
  
• MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my own neighborhood.
  
  
• Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
  
  
• Bad decisions make good stories - especially when they are someone else's bad decisions...
  
  
• You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day. It hit a few minutes ago...
  
  
• Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection for the sixth time...
  
  
• If the tag says "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" it will never get clean...not in my house, anyway.
  
  
• Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...
  
  
• It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood, don't ya think?
  
  
• I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
  
  
• Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.
  
  
• It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.
  
  
• I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Bud Light than Kay.

I am not nice when I am tired...

I am feeling pretty damn exhausted lately...

So today when I got into work and checked my email, and read that my boss had asked the lead of one of my projects (Ms. Lead) to oversee the work of another project that I thought I was now leading ...

And then found another email from Ms. Lead asking everyone who was providing me with input to provide her with the status of their input so maybe she could give us some ideas of how to move this project along faster...

Let's just say I lost it....

The reason I took on this new work a few weeks ago was two-fold:
I like to do it and not too many of my coworkers do...
I figured I could work on my own a bit...away from my Ms. Lead.

Ms. Lead, god love her, is a wonderful person with a smiling, happy personality. She just manages to micromanage the hell out of every project she takes on....She plans the project to death and then replans everytime something small changes and expects the "workers" on the project to confirm her new plans and let her know the instant things change so that maybe her suggested target "dates" cannot be met.

Well guess what, when the whole project end date moves out by a year, my date is gonna move too....sorry I did not mention that to you.

And yet a third email ....Recently, a vendor delivered 240+ translated documents. Ms. Lead asked for a target delivery date for each of the documents. She asked for confirmation of the dates regularly...all were within a two-week span. These were not small documents - they averaged 200 pages each...All documents were delivered within 5 days of the target date - some early, some up to 5 days late. "Well, why were we late on some documents", Ms. Lead asks. "And how can we prevent this in the future?"

Well, I gave her my idea which was probably not a good idea...but I was in a mood....

Phillipia says...

How about you and the rest of the management team find something to do with your time besides asking us the "workers" to report on the status of our "work" while also explaining exactly how we are doing said "work" so you can report to upper management that you have thought of some ways to improve "worker" efficiencies...

Needless to say my idea was not well received.

So I just put my headphones on and continued working, replying to all status requests with "IAFWOI"

I could be wrong...

I thought things would have slowed down a bit by now, but It is taking me longer than I thought to get all the things done I had hoped to get done over the last couple of weeks.

Another couple weeks and MAYBE I will be caught up - if I quit taking on more...I need a lesson in how to say NO...

Not sure I told you that my oldest got a new pet boa; BOA was the guest of honor at his Garden of Eden themed party the other night. I am not quite sure what a Garden of Eden party is because I was not on the invite list...which probably says a lot about what it is...

Costumes were mandatory and G-Man went as Temptation; as far as I know, he did not buy any type of costume; I did see him leave the house with a red marker, tho...Bite Me???

I have yet to see pictures, but I hear BOA had things wrapped up pretty well. Even CareBear, as the tree of life, had a photo moment with BOA...

And unlike the OT garden, this garden abounded in Eves...scantily clad and sharing a BOA...

G-man, being the good son he is, visited his Dad the morning after the party. Unfortunately, his car barely made it to dad's and ended up in a shop in Brimtuckey. But Dad has a few cars so he decided to let G-man borrow one of them until his got fixed; it was not the cool convertible G-Man was hoping to borrow, but....

The Roadmaster, with front bumper bungee corded to the engine, almost made it half of the 60 mile trip home before it stalled out and refused to start. Two cars down in one day...let's go for a record...

So I spent my afternoon driving to Streetsboro to rescue G-man and waiting there with him and the ex for AAA to come and haul the Roadmaster back to Brimtucky...

Yes, the ex has had a bad couple of weeks. His mom has had knee replacement surgery which was complicated with heart problems and he has just put his step-dad in a home for altzheimer patients. He has been slightly over-stressed.

So I did not point out to him that his long graying scragly hair is not attractive - that the hippie, crocodile dundee look does not look good on him.

And I did not point out that wearing striped boxers that are longer than your walking shorts is probably not ever going to catch on as a fashion trend.

I do not really care how he wears his hair or his underwear, but Senior Parent night is next week and I am not sure G-man's friends believe him anymore when he tells them that his Dad is a fashion entrepreneur.

But I could be wrong...I have been before...at least once...