I think I am infected...

I have all the early signs of influenza A (H1N1 - aka Swine flu) :

• Fever - more like hot flashes, but still....
  
  
• Cough - especially right before I get that first cigarette of the day in...
  
  
• Headache - especially after I have been staring at the screen for three hours browsing and blogging...
  
  
• Muscle pain - okay, so maybe I overdid it just a little at Bally's last night...
  
  
• Joint pain - not because I stubbed my toe and started to fall up (yes, up) the stairs but caught myself with my already tendonitis-inflamed arm...
  
  
• Sore throat - not from getting caught in the pouring rain the other night while cheering on the the 4x8 relay team...
  
  
• Morning congestion and runny nose - not from sleeping with my windows open at night...
  
  
• Vomiting/diarrhea - after only a little bit of partying last night...

I think I should quarantine myself for a few weeks - for the good of the community...

Happy Birthday to Winky Twinky!!

There is a funny story behind how I came to know our friend Winky Twinky....

We met by way of a fellow blogging buddy...

Only it was not his intent that we ever knew about each other...

Funny how ya meet a guy and ya think he is everything and then ya realize what an effin jerk he is and then you meet a girl who met the same guy and came to the same realization...

And you start sharing stories and rotflyfao (yeah, that's roll on the floor, laugh your fuckin' ass off ).

And a friendship is born...so that is why he came into my life...it was soooo worth it:)

Thank you Winky Twinky for being such a good friend. May you have a wonderful 39th birthday.

It is almost summer and time to get together for those Margaritas and share stories in person:)

Hey, it's poetry Wednesday - what have ya got?

I like this plan....

...especially since I qualify:)

The St. Petersburg Times Newspaper recently asked readers for their ideas on how to fix the economy. My favorite suggestion was nicknamed the The Patriotic Retirement Plan. In summary:

No more money to companies that have squander past bailouts on lavish parties and unearned bonuses...

Instead, pay $1 million dollars severance for early retirement to each of the 40 million people over the age of 50 who are currently in the work force. (Hey, that's me!)

Upon acceptance of the money:

• They MUST retire. (NO problem there!) With an instant 40 million job openings, unemployment will no longer be a problem.
  
  
• They MUST buy a new American car. (NO problem there - well, I sort of wanted a Honda next time, but I hear they are made in America now.) With 40 million cars ordered, the auto industry should bounce back..
  
  
• They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage. (NO problem there, who would not want to get rid of that debt?) This should bring a swift end to the housing crisis.

Where do I sign up?

An alternative to blogging...

I was blogging away last week, except I was not being funny and I did not post them here...

Actually, they were emails, and they were rants...PMSing rants of a Mom and parent....

They were so PMSing that I wrote an apology...