Friday, September 25, 2009

Tenjooberrymuds

My boss sent this email to the localization team the other day...

She also sends us the best homemade baked goods in the world, but I digress...

By the time you read through this YOU WILL UNDERSTAND "TENJOOBERRYMUDS".

In order to continue getting-by in America (our home land), we all need to learn the NEW English language! Practice by reading the following conversation until you are able to understand the term "TENJOOBERRYMUDS". With a little patience, you'll be able to fit right in.

Now, here goes...

The following is a telephone exchange between you as a hotel guest and call room-service somewhere in the good old USA today...

Room Service : "Morrin. Roon sirbees."

Guest : "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service."

Room Service: "Rye. Roon sirbees... morrin! Joowish to oddor sunteen???"

Guest: "Uh... Yes, I'd like to order bacon and eggs."

Room Service: "Ow July den?"

Guest: "... What??"

Room Service: "Ow July den?!?... pryed, boyud, poochd?"

Guest: "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry.. scrambled, please."

Room Service: "Ow July dee baykem? Crease?"

Guest: "Crisp will be fine."

Room Service: "Hokay. An Sahn toes?"

Guest: "What?"

Room Service: "An toes. July Sahn toes?"

Guest: "I... don't think so.."

RoomService: "No? Judo wan sahn toes???"

Guest: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo wan sahn toes' means."

RoomService: "Toes! Toes!... Why Joo don Juan toes? Ow bow Anglish moppin we bodder?"

Guest: "Oh, English muffin!!! I've got it! You were saying 'toast'... Fine... Yes, an English muffin will be fine."

RoomService: "We bodder?"

Guest: "No, just put the bodder on the side."

RoomService: "Wad?!?"

Guest: "I mean butter.. just put the butter on the side."

RoomService: "Copy?"

Guest: "Excuse me?"

RoomService: "Copy...tea...meel?"

Guest: "Yes. Coffee, please... and that's everything."

RoomService: "One Minnie. Scramah egg, crease baykem, Anglish moppin, we bodder on sigh and copy ... rye??"

Guest: "Whatever you say."

RoomService: "Tenjooberrymuds"

Guest: "You're welcome"

Remember I said "By the time you read through this YOU WILL UNDERSTAND 'TENJOOBERRYMUDS' "... and you do, don't you?

And you thought you didn’t speak a foreign language!!

Thursday, September 24, 2009

You've got mail...

I must admit, I do not go to the mail box too often.

I pay all of my bills online...in fact, I do most everything online.

I headed toward the mailbox at least three times last week - but before I got there I got caught up in something else.

Now, I do ask G-Man to get the mail once in awhile, but unless he is waiting for a package, my request falls on deaf ears.

But yesterday, on the way out to dinner...

Let's stop and get the mail on the way out, Mom.

Okay...are you waiting for something?

Well, sort of -you think that stuff I asked you to order over the weekend is here?

It's worth a check...(not - I did not order till this morning, but he does not need to know that).

----

You got a package, Mom. Did you order something?

Just open it...I want to see (I am driving).


It is a cool pen ....with a cow on it...why would someone send you a pen - there's two of them.



Because I asked for it...and they are the coolest pens in the world...And it is not a cow...it is a goat.

Geez...all those hours of See 'n Say and you cannot tell the difference between a goat and a cow...


I forgot my glasses...

Just give me my pens...they're awesome.

Wait...Nanny Goats in Panties? Where are the panties?

On the goat..where do you think???

What???Nanny Goat in Panties

Don't worry about it...

Thanks for the pens, Margaret. I will show them off proudly...

And if you get a lot of extra traffic from the Willoughby area in the next few days...

It is could be that my friends like your pens, or...

...some teenage football players are looking for panties...

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

It was a Bally's night...

Yay...I have not been to Bally's in forever...

During the summer, I decided it was much easier to go to the complex pool, get some Vitamin D, some color, and some exercise all at the same time. One stop shopping...

And since the pool closed a couple weeks ago...well, ya know, it was one thing after another.

It is amazing how much muscle weight I have gained since my last visit to Bally's.

It must all be in my fingers...from all those extra hours I have been putting in at work, typing away, loading info into the database...

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Monday was a good day.

I took the day off work and went shopping with CareBear.- she bought, I watched. I did good not spending a cent that I did not have...

In the early evening, LDBoy and G-Man joined us and I was treated to one of my favorite dinners at Texas Roadhouse. Sirloin tips over mashed potatos and gravy with mushrooms - oh yeah.

And I finally got smart and learned to order my tips rare so that by the time they get to me they are medium rare:)

Then CareBear and LDBoy and I headed downtown to watch Dinosaurus Rex at Pat's in the Flats.

I figured the place may not be crowded since it was a Monday night. And I was absolutely right...in fact LDBoy was the only paying customer the whole time we were there.

I guess CareBear and I could have bought our own drinks and tripled the amount of customers, but LDBoy offered, and who are we to not let a guy buy us drinks?

We did not have a hard time deciding what to drink either...since Pat does not keep fruit (lemons and limes are not exceptions) or fruit juice (except cranberry, because its medicinal), or fruit flavored spirits.

So shots of Jose Cuervo it was ....chased with a vodka and cranberry.

A few of those and the place was looking pretty inviting.

A few more and I had to use the ladies room.

Not so inviting...even after a few...

But when ya gotta go, you do; so I did.

What, no soap???? Just mustard? I kid you not, there was a mustard dispenser sitting on the sink where the soap should have been.

I am not that brave....

I heard....I really did not check on this myself...that there was a ketchup dispenser in the men's room.

Wonder where the mayo dispenser was...


Sunday, September 20, 2009

Doing Laundry...over.

Thanks, G-man and company...

Yesterday I had a zillion things to do.

Really, I counted...

I decided I could do three things at once: laundry, update the rebel web, sort through some work emails....

So I head to the basement with my work laptop, my home laptop, and three bags of laundry...

Woah...looks like there was a party happening here...

I know G-man had some of the guys over because it was a no football weekend...but how many guys does it take to leave this kind of mess?????

Red plastic cups everywhere...No way was there that much pop in the fridge...

Ping pong balls??? We do not have a ping pong table...

Crushed pretzel bits...jeez...did they think they were grapes???

Playing cards all over the place...like a game of 204 card pickup gone wrong....

Video games and controllers everywhere...

No boys to help pickup tho....

Oh well, add another thing to my todo list....

So I throw in a load of laundry, take a look at all the clean laundry sitting there waiting to get put away (add to list), and boot up my computers.

As I am praying that I can get online (so I can cross 'call cable guy back" off my list) I hear the washer go into it spin cycle followed by the sound of water spraying all over the place....

Yeah, all over the floor, all over the clean laundry, all over everything....

Why the hell would anyone unclamp the washer hose from the tub???

OMG, just add a few more things to my todo list...