Saturday, June 27, 2009

May we have your attention please....

I had just settled into my workday - finally got my computer booted up and was enjoying my second cup of coffee....
Atten !!!! Atten...sion!!
May we have your ....
This is a safety announcement.....

Yeeeeessss???? So are we suppose to leave the building or what? Is it safer inside or out? C'mon man - we obviously should be doing something besides sitting here waiting for you to spit it out...

...water main break...boil not drink the not use the tap water for coffee...

It was a SSCOON* moment througout the office.
And then from a someone who obviously had not had enough coffee yet...

What about the water in the toilets?

What about it? You don't usually drink that do you?

*simultaneously shooting coffee out our noses

Friday, June 26, 2009

A sad week in Hollywood...

...unless you are participating in Pa Rock's Dead Pool!!!

Earlier this week it was Ed McMahon of Tonight Show and Reader's Digest Sweepstakes Fame. Damn, I guess I will never get my money now.

Then there was Farrah Fawcett. I am sorry I wished you dead when my ex could not take his eyes off of you long enough to ...oh all seems so trivial now....

But Michael Jackson, thank you, for getting me into the 6-way tie in Pa Rock's Dead Pool.

Seriously, I did not wish the demise of any of these celebrities. My sympathies to their families and friends. To MJ's alleged victims, I hope this brings you some peace.


Now who else is on my list???? ....just kidding....

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Eye of the Tiger...

I like to check out Julia's blog over at Homemade Hilarity every once in awhile.

Not only does it give me a good laugh, it reminds me of some of my forays into domestication...

When G-Man was in grade school, he had to select a craft kit that involved stuffing and sewing a stuffed animal. I never did understand the point of such assignments because you just know it is going to fall on the Moms (or Dads in the case of the 'build a bridge' assignment).

And G-man, being the kid he is, could not select a simple kit. He comes home with an 11-inch Bengal tiger kit.

Me: OMG, G-Man, are you trying to embarrass me???? You know I do not sew.

G-Man: I'll do it; it is my homework.

Me: Like that ever stopped me .
So we compromised and worked together on this thing. I say thing, because it did not look like a tiger when we were done - or not like a healthy tiger, anyway.

It's nose was pretty close to its right eye which was a lot farther from its left eye than it should have been.

One of the ears was twisted inside of itself...permanently.

We sent it to school as the Facially Challenged Lost Bengal of the Jungle. Teach was not impressed; but I did get a C+ for effort.

And being the supportive mom that I am, that tiger rode in the back window of my car until G-Man was a Sophomore in High School.

One of the little neighbor girls who loves G-Man always let me know how much she loved my tiger and came out and blatantly asked for it on several occasion.

Nooooo - G-Man made me that.....

I finally threw it in the trunk one day when I pulled into the school parking lot and realized the visiting football team was the Bengals. A Bengal Rebel would not have gone over too well:(

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Heading to C-bus...

I get to do another road trip Friday to C-bus...

Probably will not be as much fun as the last trip in that direction - for me anyway.

But this trip is for G-man; he is participating in a football camp at "The OSU " Horseshoe.

I get to watch and learn and bring a couple good books:)

Not sure if his Dad is planning to go - that will make it a lil more stressful for me but prolly better for G-man.

And it is his day, so I will just stay low - which is pretty easy being as short as I am...

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Please slow down...

My life seems in overdrive lately.

Last week I did not get home until 11:00 PM or lately almost every night.

Monday I worked bingo for the football team - got home about 11:15

Tuesday I hosted football Moms at my house till 11:00 - same difference as not getting home til 11:00, right?

Wednesday I was walking the streets of downtown til pretty late.

Thursday I had another business dinner at Bahama Breeze that lasted until a little after 9:30 and then I headed back to work to pick up my car and chatted with the vendor a bit in the parking lot....

Friday was Ame's dance recital. It was long, but it was awesome. There were dancers from age3 - 13. And Ames is awesome, I must admit. She does ballet and tap and modern. And you can tell when watching her that she loves it and puts her whole self into it. Her Swan Lake and Music Box Ballets were my favorite. After the dance recital we went to I-Hop because it was too late for most anywhere else and it is tradition (probably every where in the world) to go to DQ or somewhere comparable after a school concert or recital...

Saturday is sort of a blur...except for the PMS portion of the day (per a previous post) and the mall trip after wards. I needed to get G-man something decent to wear for his senior pictures - whether he wanted it or not. Oh yeah - and I had to get him a haircut because I did not want pictures with the skid marks he had cut into his head a couple weeks ago...

Sunday was lunch with my Dad and then 3 hours of senior picture taking. Kudos to
Jessica Vidmar Photograpy. I cannot wait to see the pictures. I just followed around with changes of clothes and did my part to keep Willoughby's finest at bay and asure them that G-man was not going to jump from the train tracks into the raging rapids of the Cuyahoga River....and yes we are keeping ourselves on public property...and no he is not getting indecent in public - well sorta not, anyway.

And Photo Jess snapped a couple of pics of make-up-less moi with G-man (I was not prepared to be in any pics). But who knows, maybe one of the will show a more attractive side of me that my trolling pic....

Last Night I went with G-Man to his Dad's. I knew CareBear and LDBoy would be their because it was their Granpa's 80th Birthday. What I did not realize was that there would be so many other people there. It was nice to see my ex sister-in-law and step-sister-in-law and the ex's aunts and cousins who I have not seen for a good many years. They are a pretty nice down to earth group of people. And they are all really nice to me. So nice that they wondered (out loud, no less) if the ex and I were going to get back together.

Me: Say what????

Ex-someone: Yeah, well it's a shame. He's not dating anyone and do ya think you would get back together?

Me: Say what???? Sorry for him he has not found someone else to shit on...but (don't even ask me if I am dating anyone) hurt me once...that's it. Ok, not always, but that was a hell of a lot of hurt I went through cuz of that asshole. And the kids....

Ex-someone: Oooh, sorry I brought that up - nice weather we're having today...

Me: Oooh, look at the deer out yonder. Is that my phone ringing...let me go get that...

This week has got to get better....

Monday, June 22, 2009

Show the Love!

I got an email from my great-aunt the other day that I thought I should share with you.

Note that Aunt Georgine is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car...

The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a 'Honk if you love Jesus' bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thunderous prayer meeting. I had your sister's boy Mikey with me. I think he actually liked the prayer meeting - he sure was smiling a lot. These teens nowadays need more Jesus in their life.

Anyway, I bought the sticker and put it on my car. Boy, am I glad I did.

As I was driving home I stopped for a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good he is, and I didn't notice that the light had changed.

It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed that the light was green. I found that he loves Jesus a lot. He honked once rather sheepishly like he was not sure how much he loved Jesus. And then he started honking like crazy. And then he leaned out of his window and started screaming: 'For the love of God!' 'Go! Go! Go! Jesus Christ, GO!'

And then everyone started honking! It was wonderful. All those people honking for Jesus. I just leaned out my window and started waving and smiling at all those loving people. I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love!

There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him yelling something about a sunny beach.

And there was another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air. I asked Mikey what that meant. He said it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something.

Well, I have never met anyone from Hawaii, so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign right back. And Mikey started praising the Lord, too and giving everyone the good luck sign.

A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me. I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is when I noticed the light had changed. So, I just smiled and waved at everyone and drove on through the intersection.

I noticed that I was the only car that got through the intersection before the light changed again. That made me kind of sad - that I had to leave them after all the love we had shared.

So I slowed the car down, leaned out the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away. Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!!

I am going to go back to that store and get a whloe lotta those bumper stickers. I will put a few in the mail to you. Once you have one on your car, I know all your friends will want one too.

It is a great way to make new friends - better than that on-line dating thing you are trying.... And you know they all love Jesus!!

Will write again soon.

Thank you, Aunt Georgine....

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Thank You, Tricky Dick

I came across an interesting article about the Origins of Fathers Day. I did not realize that it was not a legal holiday until then President Nixon declared it so in 1972.

I can understand how some Fathers (as opposed to Dads) would rather have a National Fishing Day than have to be bothered with the traditions of a National Get Another Damn Tie Day.

I for one am thankful for the National Day to honor Dads.

It reminds me that my Dad is a pretty good guy in his own twisted way and so I take him to lunch and spend a little quality time with him.

It reminds my kids that they do have a Dad who is pretty damn good to them in his own twisted way and so they spend the day with him = day to myself:)

And I see it as a chance to let the Fathers (as opposed to the Dads who enjoy it) see what it is like to be a "Dad" for a take the day off Moms (who are married to Fathers) and head to the spa or the mall or the beach...

Happy Dad's Day to all of the Dads out there!