Saturday, September 19, 2009

Just F'in look it up...

This morning I finally made it to BMV to renew my registration.

I had planned to take care of this online but G-Man's and CareBear's cars - registered to me for insurance rate purposes - needed an E-check this year.


CareBear was very cooperative, being female and all. She took care of hers a month ago - in plenty of time for me to renew online.


G-Man however.....well, he had a brake light out for well over a month now.


I have been bugging him for weeks to get it taken care of.


Last weekend I finally withheld some important news until he had the light fixed...

Brake light working???? Ok, then, here's the mail you been waiting for...
That left a week for him to get the E-Check done...
No time Monday...
Too Busy Tuesday...
Working out Wednesday...
Gotta focus on the game Thursday....
Friday....I'll do it tomorrow...
Only if you are going to be there at 8:00 AM when they open...
But I ....

You do not have football....

It's the only day I can sleep in...

Then I guess you better get there now....

So...here I am at the BMV office...noone in line, this could be quick...

Ma'm it says here these two cars need e-checked.

I had it done.

Where's your paperwork.

Shit...I left it home...

You need your paperwork.

Can't you look it up - see if it shows up on line?

No...you need to go get your paperwork.

No way...that's going to be a problem. I mean, I can get it for G-man's car - it is sitting on my desk... but CareBear had hers e-checked over a month ago in another town. And she is out of town and I do not have her paperwork...

Sorry, I need....

Try to look it up...

It won't show ...

Just try....(before I feel the need to get loud)

Ok (deep sigh)...it says here you are all set. That will be $163.40.

Wow....how much of that goes toward your salary?

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

I opened a bottle of your wine....

As my son and his friends were retelling this story, I was reminded of Flubtastic Doofalo's OJ Post...


LDBoy and his business partners decided to share a few of cases of Mon Avie.

Obviously they are trying to clean out their systems....we'll just leave that there. But I am told a mere shot (aka 1.5 oz) per day keeps them embarrassingly flatulent for the day...

One of the partners makes his home in NC; the other partners are Ohio based. So they had the shipment sent to the Ohio office, split it up, and forwarded NC man his share.

In the meantime, NC man has left his NC home-office for an exrtended visit to Ohio. He asked a friend to house-sit because he was expecting some deliveries...

NC man answered his phone while at dinner a couple days into his Ohio visit...

NC Man: Hello
House-sitter: Hey, man. WTF kind of wine did you order. I had a couple of glasses and have been on the shitter ever since.
NC Man: It's not wine.
House-sitter: No kidding.
NC Man: Why did you open my stuff?
House-sitter: I had my girlfriend over and we felt like some wine...aw shit...gotta go...coming through....

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

They sound so much alike...

So as I was packing up to leave the office last Friday, my desk phone rings....

Hello, this is Phillipia.

Hey Mom, you still going to the game?

Yeah...why wouln't I???

Can you take me?

What???

Can I ride with you??

Why???

Why not???

Ummm...why aren't you riding on the bus with the team???

Mom, this is your other son...


Ooops....