Saturday, April 25, 2009

Yay - I am funny:)

This morning, thanks to the prompt from The Mind of Spaz, I applied for membership into the wonderful world of Humorbloggers [dot] com and they accepted me. I feel sooo special:) I mean, some of my friends think I am funny, but they are biased, I'm sure.

Thank you HBDC for letting me in....I will do my best not to disappoint. I have to be about pressure on myself...

Happy Birthday LDBoy!

There is a reason you were born on April 25th...yeah, ok I will not go into all of that here....

But it seems that you are a lot of who you are because of the alignment of the stars and planets (or whatever it is that astrology is all about) because you are lying to yourself if you think this does not sound like you, at least a little...

A Taurus born on April 25 is a seeker of life's deepest mysteries. They possess great spirituality, which gives them amazing strength of character.

April 25 natives take life as it comes. When disappointments come their way, they see the challenges as valuable learning experiences.

April 25 individuals are introspective loners who don't need to find themselves through relationships. Because of their spiritual nature, they may remain celibate for long periods of time when not involved in a relationship. (Ok, maybe not here so much...)

A great many unresolved issues from childhood are likely to influence the adult lives of April 25 people. They seek to heal their emotional wounds by raising a family. This can prove helpful therapy for them, as long as they understand that forgiveness for the past must precede healing in the future. (Lucky for you that you have no unresolved issues from childhood, because you had perfect parents; or at least one perfect parent - that would be me in case you are confused.)

April 25 people do not have the robust health generally associated with Taureans, and they have a tendency to catch colds easily. Mineral water and herbal tea will help flush toxins from the system. (As will Jose.)

April 25 people respond to music's natural resonance, which gives them physical grace and a natural sense of rhythm. They often become talented dancers, choreographers, figure skaters, musicians, and singers. (Ooops, unless there is something I do not know about you, I think you were MIA during this handout.)

Although intelligent, April 25 people are not advised to handle a significant amount of money without professional advice. (Hmmmm - no comment.)

The chief aim of April 25 individuals is to understand themselves. Success has little to do with accumulating worldly possessions or praise. It is the intangibles of life that concern April 25 people. In their quiet way these people can make extraordinary spiritual mentors. (You are one of my three inspirations, because you have found a way to do to do what makes you happy...but you know that!)

As an April 25th Taurean, you should embrace concentration, pondering an answer, playing for keeps.

As an April 25th Taurean, you should avoid tension, telling a hurtful truth, worrying about death. (Hey, death happens to the best of us...)

LDBoy, how 'bout them Cavs? Yeah, I love you - forever. And I wish you all of the best (adventures, health, wealth, and happiness) this year and for many more to come. Happy Birthday!

Friday, April 24, 2009

Putting my Physics BS to Work ...

I have finally decided that it is time to do something useful with my degree...

As all physics majors know, it takes 1 calorie to heat 1 gram of water 1 degree centigrade.

Translated into layman terms, this means that if you eat a very cold dessert (which most likely consists of a lot of water), the natural processes which raise the consumed dessert to body temperature during the digestive cycle literally sucks the calories out of the only available source, your body fat.

For example, a dessert served and eaten at near 0 degrees C (32.2 deg. F) will in a short time be raised to the normal body temperature of 37 degrees C (98.6 deg. F). For each gram of dessert eaten, that process takes approximately 37 calories (per the law of physics stated above).

The average dessert portion is 6 oz, or 168 grams. Therefore, making use of the law of thermodynamics (as taught to me by an overzealous, Italian, chauvinistic, Jesuit school prof) 6,216 calories (1 cal./gm/deg. x 37 deg. x 168 gms) are extracted from body fat as the dessert's temperature is normalized.

Allowing for the 1,200 latent calories in the dessert, the net calorie loss is approximately 5,000 calories.

Obviously, the more cold dessert you eat,the better off you are and the faster you will lose weight, if that is your goal. This process works equally well when drinking very cold beer in frosted glasses. Each ounce of beer contains 16 latent calories, but extracts 1,036 calories (6,216 cal. per 6 oz. portion) in the temperature normalizing process. Thus the net calorie loss per ounce of beer is 1,020 calories. It doesn't take a rocket scientist (any localization coordinator can do it) to calculate that 12,240 calories (12 oz. x 1,020 cal./oz.) are extracted from the body in the process of drinking a can of beer.

Frozen desserts, e.g., ice cream, are even more beneficial, since it takes 83 cal./gm to melt them (i.e., raise them to 0 deg. C) and an additional 37 cal./gm to further raise them to body temperature.

The results here are truly remarkable, and it beats running or swimming (but not sexercize) hands down.

Unfortunately, for those who eat pizza as an excuse to drink beer, pizza (loaded with latent calories and served above body temperature) induces an opposite effect. However, as the astute reader has already reasoned, the obvious solution is to drink a lot of beer with pizza and follow up immediately with large bowls of ice cream.

Now I understand why my Dad insisted that I get a good education from a Jesuit college. He knew I would need to someday understand the importance of adhering religiously to a pizza, beer, and ice cream diet if I were to keep my girlish figure (or get it back, since I chose to forget this bit of knowledge until recently).

So beer (honestly), pizza (with anchovies), and lots of ice cream (chocolate, of course) at Phillipia's every weekend. And margaritas in between....its medicinal.

Thursday, April 23, 2009


A pharmaceutical advertisement that makes sense...coming soon to your local cable network...
Do you have feelings of inadequacy?
Do you suffer from shyness?
Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Margaritas.

Margaritas are the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions.

Margaritas can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything.

You will notice the benefits of Margaritas almost immediately and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live. Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past and you will discover many talents you never knew you had.

Stop hiding and start living, with Margaritas.

Margaritas may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use Margaritas. However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.

Side effects may include but are not limited to:
  • Dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration
  • Loss of motor control and balance
  • Loss of clothing
  • Loss of money
  • Table dancing
  • Lap dancing
  • Headache, sensitivity to light and noise
  • Dehydration
  • Dry mouth
  • Diarrhea of the mouth
  • An overpowering desire to sing Karaoke
Do not take more than the prescribed dosage; symptoms of overdose include the uncontrollable desire to make midnight phone calls to ex-lovers, the need to tell your friends over and over again how much you love them, fantasies of being as attractive to members of the opposite sex as they are to you, and actually fulfilling your dream of singing and dancing on stage with the band.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

I'll take it black...

I am one of those who can and do drink coffee no matter what time of day.

And believe me, it is for the good of everyone that I do...

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Honesty sucks...

I got in to work this morning and as usual logged into my personal email accounts first thing. It's for the good of the company, really, 'cuz if I have to worry about what I might be missing all day, I will never get any work done...

Anyway, I opened this email from my Mom:

You have just received the Amish Virus. Since we do not have electricity or computers, you are on the honor system. Please delete all of your files. Thank thee.

And being the honorable person that I am, well, the rest is history....literally...

Monday, April 20, 2009

Happy Birthday, CareBear!

It's your Birthday, happy to ya!

On the day you were born...I was there:)

And since that day, you have been a joy. You are sweet, beautiful, intelligent, funny, warm, gracious, all the things a Mom could ever ask for in a daughter. Most of all you are my friend. One of my best friends.

You are my favorite daughter - but you know that:)

Today I wish for you the happiest birthday ever, and a year that is full of excitement (the good kind) and dreams and happy endings and new beginnings...

I love you forever, CareBear!

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Where did the week go?

I cannot believe it is Sunday again already...

It has been very busy at Peyton PHlaCe this last few weeks and it does not look like it is going to slow down anytime soon. We are in the RUMP of one project which is the busiest time for me. It is the part of the project that sits between RfLD and RfVD. So I have been working quite a few 8+ hour days.

But, according to the PMT at last week's THM, I should keep working hard, because the future of PHC is looking great...Of cource that was followed by a memo from BoD and CEO that says we are not out of the woods and we have to make further cost reductions; which was followed by a memo from the DoHC not to worry too much - just keep working hard and we will pull through this economic downturn - without raises of course...

Tuesday morning I joined AAAAAA - the American Association Against Acronym and Abbreviation Abuse.

Tuesday evening I received a call from the Track Coach asking me to put together a hospitality suite for 80 coaches/workers at the Invitational Friday (yes in two days) ....I asked him a month earlier if I could help....hmmm...but no problem - I got it handled - thanks to Chik-Fil-A who donated 80 sandwiches and a few parents who donated food and time. I am planning now for the PAC Conference meet next month- not waiting for the coach to ask for my help - he is getting it:)

So Thursday evening after leaving the office late, I ran around getting stuff I needed for Friday, got a haircut so I could color my hair with one bottle of color instead of two, and then headed home thinking of all I still needed to do. What a nice surprise when I walked into a clean house. G-Man had picked up, cleaned up, and cut my do list by quite a bit....Thank you G-Man.

Friday morning, I colored the gray out of my hair (so as not to embarrass G-man at UB Saturday - cuz it was bad). Then I ran a few more errands before the track meet. I got my exercize running up an down the bleachers to the upper press box where the hospitality suite was set up. But all in all it was a good day and a good meet. Congrats to the South Boys on placing first. Sorry you did not get to run, G-Man; but hoped you learned your lesson about stretching enough to avoid pulled hamstrings.

Saturday bright and early G-Man's dad picked us up for the ride to UB for Junior Day. Yes - a day with the ex - how fun. But all in all, it too was a good day. G-Man really liked Buffalo.

Today is catch-up and plan the coming week day at Phillipia's house:
  • Plan birthday dinner with LDBoy and CareBear - pick a day you two:)
  • Track meet Wednesday
  • Laundry
  • Make football web updates
  • Update junior football profiles
  • Schedule meeting to plan football lunches/dinners
  • Grocery shop
  • Create test reports for RUMP project
  • Bally's
  • Birthday shop for CareBear and LDBoy