I have a proposition...

This work week got off to a crazy start.

I finally saw 6 new product document kits through the entire release process...

The FPM for this project (I'll let you decipher the acronym) pushed our team to get these kits through the system over any other projects we were working on.

So he would look good to his managers...

So I helped make it happen - mostly so he would quit stopping by my desk every half hour to check status.

Are they done yet????

How about now???

Where are they????

And just as the last one was making its way through the final hurdles...(more about the hurdles coming in a future post near you)....

Oh, by the way. We have to release a version B of one of the documents in the kit.

And we have to get it translated.

And then we need you to rework all those kits you just released.

And we need to not let this hold up the project.

Suffice it to say, I blew a gasket.

So, let me get this straight.

I rushed through hell and back to get this shit done on time...

Ahead of time...

So you could look good about releasing part of the project early...

And now I have to do it all over again????

Well, yeah...

And you want me to do it right away...

Before I do stuff for that other project that is now late because you got it bumped for your project?????

Well, yeah...

I mean, if we get it done this week, we get our bonuses.

So we want it done this week....

We want our bounuses, right???

Listen...

....you can hear the silence from my cubicle...

...it is deafening...

Oh, but you probably don't get a bonus, do you?

And then he just walks away...

So here is my proposition....

Which FPM wants their bonus?

Which FPM wants Sister Phillipia (she has God on her side) to help them get their bonus?

Which FPM is going to donate to the Sister Phillipia Habitat?

Sr. Phillipia is willing to bargain....

Because, as of this morning, Sr. Phillipia is officially on PTO until the end of the year.

That's Paid Time Off....

Yep, if she does not take it, she loses it....

And Sr. Phillipia hates losing...

That's right. Sr. Phillipia does NOT have to be here finishing up your projects...

...or catching up on all the things that did not happen...

...because you wanted other things to happen first...

...but now everything needs to happen...

...because, well, it is the end of the year...

...and, oh, yeah, your bonus DEPENDS on it...

So what now, Mr. FPM???

Happy Endings...

I was over at Ed's Daily Rant reading And the answer is.... when I remembered that I forgot to update you on the Men of Steel...

That's because there weren't any....

Last week I mentioned that G-Man and I were working a Charity Poker Fundraiser to benefit the high school athletic department.

And the Men of Steel were suppose to be performing in the same building...

Suppose to be is the key word there....

There was a little itty bitty handwritten note on the door that they would not be performing again until after the New Year...

What good does that do me - I am here now....

But the guys who gambled their money into the Athletic department pockets were not as disappointed.

There was a new attraction to the gambling floor this year.

Professional Masseuse service - $1 per minute.

Seriously...

Now some of the Rebel Moms were a little taken aback...

They found it a little disgusting that all this was allowed to go on during a school function - personally, I think they were jealous - but what do I know?

The school athletic department did make a tidy little profit from that poker fundraiser...

Over $30K if my sources are accurate...

So I am thinking with some of that profit the school may soon be developing their own Men of Steel....

And giving masseuse lessons to the trainers...

So next years fundraiser should see even more profit...

Happy endings all around:)

Cougar Prowl

I came across this article Saturday:

Confessions of a Cougar

How appropriate.

No - I am not going to confess any of my past cougar prowls...

Just know that every one of them was unsuccessful...

Lucky for those guys....

'Cuz I had no clue what I was doing...

But I digress...

Friday evening I stopped off at the local Irish Pub to meet up with a football Mom.

We needed to make an exchange of sorts and how better than over a beer at one of the local hot spots?

Her son, QBBoy, who graduated a year behind CareBear and is somewhat of a local hero because of his high school and college football career, was there with a few of his friends.

As were a couple of G-Man's coaches and their wives....

And some other local talent...

The ghost of Christmas past showed up feeling pretty damn good and telling us about his colorful past and how he was looking forward to an adventurous future (by future, I mean the next few hours).

There was "Fuck You" man who could not seem to have a conversation with anyone that did not include several such salutations.

But the best was the cougar...

She kept playing the same song over and over and over on the jukebox...

Or trying to - I never knew there was a skip switch behind the bar...

Apparently she didn't either.

Anyway, Ms. cougar was hitting on QBBoy pretty damn hard.

Buying him fruity shots....

Hanging all over him at the juke box...

Is that you that keeps bumping my song, honey?

Scaring the poor kid...

She did not look it, but she confessed to being a couple years older than I am...

Which is a few years older than QBBoy's Mom...

Well, cougar and I do have one thing in common...

She was not successful in her prowls, either...

At least not that night.

Mommas keep your babies close...

Happy Merry Birthday...

I do feel bad for people with a birthday during the Christmas Season.

Especially kids...

If it was my birthday, tho, I would be grateful...

Just forget about it...

If I do not celebrate a birthday, I can pretend it did not happen...

And that gives me another year to live...

And another year for you to have to put up with me:)