Holy Shit....

In the news:

Image Of Virgin Mary Appears In Bird Dropping On Area Family’s Truck

How much do you think this blessed bird shit will sell for on Ebay?

How long do you think before it miraculously appears there?

On a side note, I thought I saw an image in some dog poop in my yard the other day.
After intense scrutiny, I realized it was a footprint. I wanted to believe it was Jesus' or a saint's, but no one else wanted to believe...

That's okay. I did not really want to bag it for sale on Ebay anyway...

I'll find another way to make my millions....

Cat Lady Wisdom

I just finished working (for my day job) a few minutes ago...
It has been a long day.

I woke up with whatever G-Man had the last couple of days (which I originally, incorrectly diagnosed as Senior Skipness).

But there is too much going on at work to take a sick day, so I decided to work from home.

I actually got a boatload of work done, until I fell asleep at the keyboard about 5:00 PM.

I slept until G-Man, sharing child that he is, woke me up as he came in the door from football about 6:30.

Where was I going with this?

Oh yeah....

So I finished working a few minutes ago and decided to visit Cat Lady's Blog (via Facebook - which I visited first)...

After WTF Wednesday, I decided to click on her fortune cookie widget...because I could use a little wisdom.

Shit, now I forgot what it said exactly, but it was something about a no-legged running teacher...

Which just reminded me that I had an email today from G-Man's track coach (who still does have both legs, btw)...

Apparently G-Man, who hardly ran track last season because of a pulled hamstring, did run enough to qualify for the Indoor Nationals to be held in March of 2010 in Boston, MA.

So there is a parent meeting November 1st to discuss preparing for the meet (no doubt by participating in other indoor meets) and fundraising to cover expenses because none of this is school sponsored.....

All I could think while I was reading was .....aww come on, at least give me a couple of weeks to get over football!

Track is a spring sport...November 1st????

Whatever....

Damn, I almost forgot...

...until you reminded us all on Facebook that it is your half-birthday CareBear.

How nice that you are accepting presents.

Let me know how that works out for you....

As much as I love ya, I do not give half-birthday presents....sorry!

Want to know why???

Because if I give you half-birthday presents, I will feel obligated to give your brothers half-birthday presents...

And they are just too hard to buy for....

And I do not want you to feel obligated to buy me half-birthday presents when mine comes around....

See, I am doing both of us a favor:)

But Happy Half-Birthday anyway to my most beautiful, favorite daughter!!!

Though for the day...

Have you ever wondered if the one dollar bills in your wallet
were ever in a stripper's butt crack?

If not, I bet you're wondering now:)

And I am going to wash my hands....

Coincidence?

So I was working along at a pretty good pace this morning when I got a text message from G-Man...

G-Man: I am going to see the nurse.
Me (Pulled nuts going through my head): Why???
G-Man: I am going to throw-up.
Me: Go Fast!

A few minutes later I get a call from the school nurse....

SN: Hi Phillipia...I have your son here.
Me: Did he make it?
SN: What?
Me: Nevermind...is he really sick?
SN: Well, yeah. He looks pretty pale and sick. Can I send him home?
Me: Sure...I'm not there.
SN: He's the 10th person I sent home so far this morning.
Me: Not all to my house, I hope...
SN: What?
Me: Does he have a fever?
SN: No - half the kids had a fever, the others are just ready to vomit. And we have an unconfirmed case of H1N1.
Me: Great - can't you keep him?
SN: What?
Me: Send him home...thanks for the call.

Something was nagging at me throughout this whole conversation but I could not quite put my finger on it...



Until....



A few minutes later I happened to talk to another senior Mom...

OtherMom: My son is home sick today.
Me: Really?
OtherMom: Yeah, he went in for one class.
Me: Why did he go in at all?
OtherMom: He did not want to get in trouble for staying home on senior skip day....
Me: Oh really?

Yeah....that's what it was. G-Man had asked me late last week to call him off today. I refused, being the good Mom I am.



Apparently a lot of other Moms refused, too.



Most of the kids sent home sick were seniors....



Coincidence?



Will we ever really know?

Would you rather....

I sat down the other night after a long day at work, wanting to relax and do a little reading...

Getting all comfy on the couch....

And then I though...a beer sounds good...

So I headed to the fridge and opened the fresh case of Molsen....

As I pulled out a nice cold bottle of brew, I naturally turned it around to read the....

WTF, where'd the label go????

Would you rather have a Molsen without the "Would you rather....label" or a...

I still had the Molsen, but I was pretty depressed the whole time I drank it.

I think I need to make up some labels for the rest of the bottles in the case...