I can be so brain dead at times.
I was helping a friend redesign her website - actually I was bartering for G-man's senior pics, but I digress.
Between the two of us we could not get proofs to show up on her web page.
We added pics to the template...We uploaded the pics via ftp...
Where'd they go??? I can see them on the ftp...they are there - why aren't they showing up? Ok, let me think about this....
For a week....
And several emails and calls to the template vendor...
It must be your server's fault - you are doing everything right and our template works for everyone else...
And several calls to the hosting vendor...
Check your template...I can see everything on the ftp...
So, let's just take down the site and upload it again...
Wa-lah...there are your pictures. I see them, you see them, everyone sees them...
So let's try to add some more...
Damn, you want it to work twice...in the same night?
Here we go again...add...upload...check ftp...
Oh fuck...not again.....
Looks like you are just going to have to reload your site each time you add a pic...
Yeah, that went over about as good as a 50# lead weight...(oooh, I have not heard that since I asked Dad how Mom liked the iron he got her for Mother's day last year, but I digress).
No senior pics for G-man at this rate...
Let's rethink this...
The template is in flash. Ok, I admit I have never designed using flash...but shit, how hard can it be?
We add files, we upload the files, they are on the ftp, but they do not show up on the site unless we reupload the whole damn site...
And then the light came on...
What a moron I felt like...of course, neither the template vendor or host provider confirmed that we were uploading the .xml and other files associated with the template...so they are morons, too.
Honestly, I am still not exactly sure what specific files we needed to re-upload but the few we did made everything work like a charm...
Now if I can get my football countdown to game 1 clock and G-man's countown to graduation calendar files up and working decently (no promise of pretty), I will have had a fairly productive weekend....
Back to productivity...
G-man is afraid of spiders. Actually all of my kids are afraid of spiders. I am afraid of spiders, but not quite as much as my kids.
A few weeks ago I heard a scream from the shower upstairs...you'd think there was a girl up there, but it was just G-man (I have to believe if there was a girl he would not have admitted to the scream).Me: You ok up there G-man?
G-man: Yeah, I'm fine.
Me: What happened?
G-man: I'm FINE!!!!
Ok then...He's fine. A few minutes later as he is getting ready to leave for school (I believe)...Me: Are you ready to go...
G-Man: In a few.. (what - minutes??? hours??? days ??? just asking because I want to know what to tell them next time they call and say you aren't at school: oh, don't worry, he'll be along any day know)
Me: I am going to get a quick shower and head into work.
G-man: Watch out for the spider up there...
Me: Oh, so is that what the scream was about?
G-man: It was huge. Quit laughing..it was...huge...
WAS- that is the key word, because the only spider up there was almost big enough to see...Of course, I am aging and my eyes are not what they used to be, but still...
Then, just yesterday, G-man was telling me about this HUGE reddish orange spider crawling on his arm as he is driving down the main drag of Willoughby OHIO...G-man: This thing was huge, Mom.
Me: As huge as the one you found in the bathroom last month?
G-man: At least...quit laughing - it was HUGE.
Me: Whose laughing? (I have a natural smile - I cannot help that it is evil looking.)
G-man: So anyway, I stopped my car, got out, took off my flip-flop and starting beating the hell out of that spider - then through his ass out of my car...
Me: In the middle of the road - on Euclid Avenue????
G-man:Yeah, this thing was huge, probably deadly.
Me: Not in front of the police station I hope???
G-man: Around there...
Me: Say what??? Are you crazy??? Did anyone say anything to you...you are lucky you did not get a ticket for road rage...
G-man: Mom, cool it, I'm G-man...noone is going to say anything..you worry too much...
Say what???? I worry too much??? How do you get through doors, because your head is so big, there is not a door big enough...
Time for a take down session, buddy...
Mom vs G-man...
And rest assured MOM will win...
MOM (aka Sr. Mary Phillipia) had GOD on her side...
Boys - they turn into men so young.
So I tried to renew three of my prescriptions online the other day - two for my BP and one for my attitude.
The attitude (aka happy) pills had no refills left. But that did not keep me from trying.
I got an email response back...
We cannot refill your happy pills without your doctor's permission. So, we talked to your doctor. Unfortunately, she does not want to give her permission. She wants you to come in for a visit to determine just how unhappy you are.
Damn, have they switched docs on me? They must have...cuz she would not, could not, forget how I get when I am not happy.
That attitude does not fix itself...so just give me the FUCKING pills, OK?
Please? So I can be happy again?
Unless you like it when I am not happy...
So at the last RM meeting of the year tonite, one of the Moms made a suggestion for next year's welcome meeting.The welcome meeting is usually in August and incoming Freshman Moms are invited to come and see what RMs are all about...I remember my first RM meeting three years ago...Phillipia: So where are all the dads?
RM: Dads go to Boosters
Phillipia: I thought Boosters was Athletic Boosters....
RM: Yeah....
Phillipia: So what about the Dads whose kids are not athletic?
RM: Welcome to RMs. Let's get on with the meeting...(that's RM code for"This is how its done - we are not changing anything - shut up bitch.")
Phillipia: OK then...but this is war...I want dads here...
But I digress...So this cool RM thought it would be a good idea if our welcome meeting was a little more welcoming...CRM: I think we should have it at someone's house - more like a bbq or picnic ...
RM:Are you offering your house?
CRM: Well, yeah, I was...
RM: That will never work. (That's RM code for "She actually said yes; shit I thought that suggesting her house would end it.")
CRM:But I have a tiki bar...
RM:Freshman Moms feel uncomfortable going to someone's house they do not know. We will just have it here same as always.
I am sitting there not able to control myself...Phillipia: You have a tiki bar? I vote for her house! Count me in. But I think we better check it out first...several times. I think the Moms will feel comfortable if we make sure the bar works good.
RM: We'll think about it, but not this year...
Say what??? What incoming freshman Mom would not feel comfortable having a welcoming drink to better be able to deal with the RM "this is the things the way they always were...so we are not changing..." attitude???It sure would have helped me:)
As I mentioned in a previous post, there is an overabundance of friends and relatives birthdays' this time of year. Today is one of the more important ones...yeah - my Mom.
My Mom amazes me...in more ways than one, but let's not digress.
Mom is a much different (more awesome) grandma than she ever was a Mom. Don't get me wrong, she was a good Mom (to all my friends).
But she is a great grandma - at least that's how my kids see her...Mom Then: You better not come home with any thing less than a "B" on that report card or you will be grounded til the next report card comes home. Really, Mom - ya think I studied more when ya grounded me; I just learned to hate ya more...
Grandma Now: Don't worry G-man, the girls will do your homework in college.
Mom Then: Stay off the furniture. That's for company to sit on...
Grandma Now: Here just put the cushions on the floor so you are more comfortable playing your X-box
Mom Then: You are not leaving this table until you eat every last vegetable on that plate.
Grandma Now: Don't worry about finishing your brussel sprouts. Your Mom never could make them right.
Mom Then: Do I look like Timmy's Mom????
Grandma Now: Timmy seems like a nice friend; you should let G-man go on a road trip with him this summer. What can it hurt.
I luv ya Mom (and Grandma).
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