Happy Sweetest Day!

Too many sweets can make you sick:)
(That is what he means, right?)

Ran out of excuses...

So tonight after I ran out of reasons not to go to Bally's...

Hey, G-Man, you sure Ames is not stopping over, I can stay home (you should go, Mom - not that you need to or anything)...
Hey J, sure you don't want to walk MJ tonight?
(yeah I know its raining, and MJ hates the rain and you do too)...
Maybe I should watch the debate...there is one on, right?

Ok, so after I ran out of excuses, I headed up to Bally's...

By the time I get there it was 9:30 - much later than I have ever been to Bally's any night of the week. And the parking lot seemed to be full of much nicer cars than I usually see there....
So I am thinking, the night crowd is different; these people are not here because they are overweight; they are here to show off their beautiful bods and find someone to f@%$# with....(there's 5 letter there, oh ye of the dirty mind)
And so I tell myself ..if the pool area is crowded, I will just walk back out the door...I mean, why spoil the scenery, right?

Well, evidently, the pool is not the place for the hot bods of the evening...
I pretty much had it to myself...

But I did learn....

No matter how much you hate the way your swim suit fits - do not wear shorts with pockets over it....cuz if you do, there will be no need for a floaty....

Chinese Astrology

OK, we all know how it works...
#s 1-11 down the side of a blank piece of paper, be spontaneous and no cheating...

1. any number
2. any number
3. name of person of opposite sex (real person)
   
4. name of good friend or family member
5. name of good friend or family member
6. name of good friend or family member
7. name of person of opposite sex (real person)
8. song title
9. song title
10. song title
11. song title

So...according to my horror scope:

* 3 (#1) is my lucky number...I knew that
* I have to tell 11 (#2) people about this game ... or what?
* I supposedly love lc (#3)...hey, give me a break, he was the first guy that came to mind cuz I was trying to blog when I got this chain email...and ok, maybe I did at one time for a short time...
* I care most about CareBear (#4) - I know, I know, she is my favorite....daughter, that is:)
* G-Man (#5) knows me very well...duh - he still is stuck living with me:)
* ldboy (#6) is my lucky star...make me a million:)
* SWG (#7) is supposedly the person I like but the relationship just won't work...duh...maybe because he's a nice guy and a good friend I can talk to at work...let's not screw that up:)
* Margaritaville (#8) supposedly matches lc (#3)...not a chance in hell...
* Bat Out of Hell (#9) supposedly matches SWG (#7)...hmmmm....tell me a little more about yourself, SWG?
* And Cracklin' Rosie (#10) is what's on my mind...sing it Neil:)
* And I am feeling Born to Run (#11)...away with you and your SB band, Boss?

So now you know...

These could work:)

Handy Dandy Reasons Not To Go To Work!

If it is all the same to you I won't be coming to work.
The voices told me to clean all the guns today.

When I got up this morning I took two Ex-Lax with my Prozac.
I can't get off the toilet, but I feel good about it.

I can't come in to work today because I'm stalking my previous boss,
who fired me for not showing up for work. Ok?

I'm religious and w-o-r-k is a four letter word!

I have a rare case of 48-hour projectile leprosy,
but I know we have that deadline to meet...

Constipation has made me a walking time bomb.

I'm feeling a little disgruntled this morning.
You sure I should come in?