Wednesday, December 16, 2009

I have a proposition...

This work week got off to a crazy start.

I finally saw 6 new product document kits through the entire release process...

The FPM for this project (I'll let you decipher the acronym) pushed our team to get these kits through the system over any other projects we were working on.

So he would look good to his managers...

So I helped make it happen - mostly so he would quit stopping by my desk every half hour to check status.

Are they done yet????

How about now???

Where are they????

And just as the last one was making its way through the final hurdles...(more about the hurdles coming in a future post near you)....

Oh, by the way. We have to release a version B of one of the documents in the kit.
And we have to get it translated.
And then we need you to rework all those kits you just released.
And we need to not let this hold up the project.
Suffice it to say, I blew a gasket.
So, let me get this straight.
I rushed through hell and back to get this shit done on time...
Ahead of time...
So you could look good about releasing part of the project early...
And now I have to do it all over again????
Well, yeah...
And you want me to do it right away...
Before I do stuff for that other project that is now late because you got it bumped for your project?????

Well, yeah...
I mean, if we get it done this week, we get our bonuses.
So we want it done this week....
We want our bounuses, right???

Listen...

....you can hear the silence from my cubicle...

...it is deafening...
Oh, but you probably don't get a bonus, do you?
And then he just walks away...

So here is my proposition....

Which FPM wants their bonus?

Which FPM wants Sister Phillipia (she has God on her side) to help them get their bonus?

Which FPM is going to donate to the Sister Phillipia Habitat?

Sr. Phillipia is willing to bargain....

Because, as of this morning, Sr. Phillipia is officially on PTO until the end of the year.

That's Paid Time Off....

Yep, if she does not take it, she loses it....

And Sr. Phillipia hates losing...

That's right. Sr. Phillipia does NOT have to be here finishing up your projects...
...or catching up on all the things that did not happen...
...because you wanted other things to happen first...
...but now everything needs to happen...
...because, well, it is the end of the year...
...and, oh, yeah, your bonus DEPENDS on it...

So what now, Mr. FPM???


5 comments:

Ed Adams said...

Fuck'em.

UberGrumpy said...

Ford Pope Mobile?
French Prime Minister?
Free Pig Mince?
Famous Political Mandarin?
Folding Paper Mobile?

Nope, stuck

gayle said...

Great post!! I am so sick of doing work that someone else gets credit for and I am sick of my husband for doing it too. My husband started sending emails to his boss stating what he has done because a FMP was taking the credit. Good for you for taking time off!! Oh and am I stupid for working the last week sick!!! and I mean sick because I'm afraid I will be talked about if I don't.

CatLadyLarew said...

Stay home! Don't go to work! Tell him you have to come help me put up my Christmas decorations because I was injured and everything and so you couldn't possibly help him with his fucking bonus. No way should you lose your hard-earned PTO!

Phillipia said...

Sorry I am so late replying to everyone; I have been busy working, shopping, candymaking...

Still have to bake and wrap and....

Ed, I like your attitude.

Getting close, Uber.

Gayle, Sorry you have been sick. Get better for the holidays. Want me to take care of the "Talkers" for ya? Let me at 'em.

CatLady, send directions; I am on my way.