Wednesday, November 4, 2009

The church called today....

Hi Phillipia, we just wanted to remind you that we would like to see you at Mass once in awhile. (okay....)

And by the way, we are happy G-Man has decided to attend the Life-Teen fall retreat again this year.
(That makes one of us.)

He is such an inspiration to the other kids...being so popular and all and still high on Jesus.
(Is that what he has you believing?)


I gotta tell ya, quite honestly, last year when G-Man informed me that he wanted to attend a retreat, I was a little skeptical.

I figured it was an excuse to spend a weekend with Ames...at my expense.

Oh, and the $70 was due yesterday, so if you can get that to us ASAP... (If you're so happy to have him, why don't you pay him???...or at least pay his way???)

But I played the part of the good parent...

Oh, and don't forget we like parents, friends, relatives to send letters of affirmation to the teens, so if you could get those to us before we go.... (Oh, yeah, that again...)

I was so afraid of not being a good parent last year, that I asked everyone to write him a letter. I mean, it sounded like everyone gets a few letters and I did not want G-Man to be left out....

Turns out he got more letters than anyone...

I guess I over did it...

But he felt special - not that his ego needed any more boosting.

I think I will write a different kind of letter this year.

Dear G-Man:

I am happy you are getting some religion in your life
But, when I come to pick you up Sunday, if you feel the need to keep jumping around and shouting and singing and screaming about being high on Jesus for three hours after the retreat is supposed to be over (yeah, like you did last year), just remember...
As much as I love you, I do not want you to be born again.

You caused me enough problems the first time...


Seriously,

Mom


8 comments:

Rick Daley said...

Well that's one hell of an attitude for a nun.

Ed Adams said...

Aren't Nuns required to attend Mass?

Ha!

Me-Me King said...

After my son attended our church retreat, it was a toss up. Did he want to become a priest or a strip club owner?

CatLadyLarew said...

I thought maybe they were writing to you to say they wanted their habit back!

MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings said...

That's pretty damn funny. I think every family needs at least one Jesus freak. At least you can be comforted knowing that his enthusiasm will pass. Unless, of course, he's offered James Dobson's job. Then you might have to deal with it for some time to come.

Phillipia said...

Rick, it is hellish, isn't it?

Ed, they kick me out every time I try to attend....something about a bad apple.

Me-Me, tell him he can be both. I am pretty sure he will not be the first:)

CatLady, bad habit or not, I'm keeping it; they'll have to rip it off me if they want it back - and that will not be a pretty sight.

Mike, if he shares the profits, I could probabaly put up with some Dobsonism.

WhisperingWriter said...

High on Jesus? I've never heard that phrase before. It makes me giggle.

ReformingGeek said...

Hum.....do I see a future as a TV Evangelist?