That was fun...not...

The other night as I am getting ready to go to a wake for a friend's husband...

My cell phone rings....

It is G-Man....

My fist thought is that he is on his way home to go to the wake...

Tho I had not expected it seeing as football practice runs pretty late....

I should not have expected it....

G-Man: Hey Mom, I just wanted to tell you before you saw it on facebook...

Me: (Feeling the dread...)

G-Man: You there?  I am on the way to the clinic for a CatScan....

Me: Holy shit - what did you do this time? Who is with you???...what clinic???..I need an address....

G-Man: calm down, Mom. You do not need to come mom, Cali is with me...we have it handled...team doctor just wants to make sure my brain is not bleeding...cuz my pupils are doing weird things...blah,blah, blah...

Me: Just give me the F-in address...

G-Man: Really, Mom, you do not need to be here - go to the wake, tell Mrs. B. I'm sorry....unless you want to bring us food or something...

Me: JUST TEXT ME THE F-IN ADDRESS!!!!...

So after I got the address and googled it and realized exactly what part of town it was in ...


I put on some body armour, hopped in my Ford tank, and used up the few remaining minutes of daylight to find the ER at the main campus of the Cleveland Clinic.

Why the hell the team doctor sent him all the way down there I am not sure....

Something about getting him in and out quickly and professionally....

Well, let me tell you, that was an epic fail on both counts....

1.5  hours after arrival:

We lost the vitals we took when you came in  - let's do that again....

2 hours after arrival:

We lost the registration info we took when you got here...let's try that again....

2.5 hours after arrival:

So you think you need a catscan...why? 
Are you sure your team doctor called ahead?

He thinks you need a catscan...why?
A lot of people's eyes do that all the time....
Ok...if you insist...let's get that scan....

5 hours after arrival: 

Catscan is fine - told ya....
Here is a RX for Ibuprofen for your headache....
No you cannot have anything stronger....I know you and your friend just came here to get some drugs...get back to school....

Let me tell you, it was no picnic sitting in the ER for 5 hours listening to two college freshman boys (excuse me, men) discussing their dorm life escapades and planning for the future...

And for the record, G-Man did not play the sympathy card at all while he was there....

Cali had control of his phone.... answering his texts...

This is Cali...G-Man cannot use his phone - he is seeing double and his head feels like it is going to explode...
This is Cali ...G-Man's eyes are looking all crazed....
This is Cali...We are worried about bleeding and brain damage....
This is Cali...he might not make it...don't worry, beautiful. I'll be there for you...

What are friends for?