Further Adventures of Phat Phil...

When last we left Phat Phil, he had just accepted a new position as route supervisor for Greener Side News (GSN).

As Phil soon learned, there is a lot that goes on inside an office that he did not have privy to while walking (or running) his route for his former employer....

For example...
Office construction (and reconstruction) never ends. It is almost as if the cubicles were made of Lego's. Except that the cubicle pieces are not reusable. But, the constant re(construction) does help Phil understand why there were no merit increases this year.

Although Phil has been lucky enough to have the same office space since he started his current position, he is thinking it may be time for a change. Why? Because Phil's office space seems to be the proverbial water cooler. He is having a tough time working through the constant barage of impromptu meetings in and around his cubicle. Phil has tried a proactive approach, including posting "No Loitering" signs and letting loose the occasional blast of "Fart in a Can." The "No Loitering" signs have become objects of grafitti abuse; the blasts of "Fart in a Can" are laughingly blamed on neighbor KenBo.

Phil has considered reserving a conference room for the impromptu meetings...however, as he soon realized, there are not enough conference rooms in the building for the meetings that are scheduled. There are some open areas that would make do for conference rooms, but they are being re-constructed as visitor lounges with couches and lamps and other amenities in hopes of luring new customers.

There is the possibility of working from home a couple days a week to avoid the office chatter, however, GSN has not yet master the finer points of telecommuting, such as a reliable VPN connection. So working at home is an option only when Phil does not need to access the GSN intranet and network drives.

Being in the offices does have its advantages. It makes possible attendance at Quarterly Town Hall Meetings at which GSN's CEO presents the State of the Business. Everone grab your bingo card, because there is sure to be an onslaught of key words and phrases...synergy, ROFO, EBITA, employee engagement, satisfaction, margin, profitabilty, results, share, customer delight, emerging markets, downsizing, outsourcing, bottom line....BINGO in the back...

Phil and the hundred or so coworkers seated around him are always amazed that the employee engagement survey shows increased employee satisfaction quarter after quarter. They must have sent their responses to the wrong email address....again. Damn....