Friday, June 12, 2009

Peyton PHlaCe has my well-being at heart....

So Peyton PHlaCe has a new product that I - as a lucky employee - can obtain free of charge. This product monitors my activity level and thus my my calorie expenditure.

This nifty little monitoring device dangles close to my heart on a fashionable leather necklace...


And it comes with software and a USB interface for easy data synchronization...(they are watching).


I decided when the offer to be a guinea pig for this device came knocking on my cubicle, I had best take advantage. You see, on my last performance review, my boss (who I really love - but who lives on the other side of the country and has no f-ing clue how I spend my off hours) wanted to include as one of my goals for this year that I start an exercise program...

Hmmmm...okay....how about I start going to Bally's three more f-ing days a week...maybe, say, twice a day, 3 hours at a time...am I too fat for you? Ohhhh, I see...you think I'd feel better. I'll tell ya what would make me feel better...but I might get fired...


Deep breaths....


Yeah....so anyway...I ordered the monitor and installed the software and read the user manual....


The first eight days are a baseline period...sort of an evaluation.


So, how do I want to play this? Well I "forgot" to wear my monitor most of the first week...I would forget to put it on in the morning and remember to put it on when I was sitting down to watch TV or read a book or blog.

And who knew the damn thing was waterproof? Not me...so I took it off when I went swimming - the only actual exercise I do....


Since the monitor measures total body movement...well you get the picture...
You are like David. David works long hours and drives everywhere. Your goal is to increase your calorie expenditure to 399 calories per day.
Hmmm...David was looking pretty hot in his picture. I am ok being like David.

But I do have a mid-year performance appraisal coming up, so I had better try to pull this off....


Now that I am almost done with the first week of real monitoring, I am a model student - heck yeah...I am #1 (out of a zillion - cuz every PHC employee around the world has one of these toys).


I get up to pee...I have done 200% of what I did during the eval time and I have burned 20% of my calories. OK, now for a run up the steps.......ding...ding...ding...100% of my goal...I can take the rest of the day off....


And blog:)


I wonder if they need someone to try out the newest version of the defibrillator...

John Kevin, you play dead and I'll try to restart your heart....ooops, I missed.

4 comments:

Larew said...

So brilliant to get your baseline set at 0 calories expended. Makes you look like a veritable olympian each time you get up to see what's in the fridge! You must feel so proud.

So, where can I pick up one of those gizmos? The "Think Method" just isn't working as well these days!

Sincerely,
Cat Lady

Larew said...

Oh, and congrats of getting the muzak installed... definitely adds a special zing to the blog. After I first heard it, I spent the next 20 minutes trying to figure out where the hell it was coming from.

Cat Lady

Anonymous said...

Y not have Gman wear it? i bet all that football exercise would make ur boss think u r exercising!!

Phillipia said...

Hey Cat Lady,
Even eating is now an Olympian event in my world:)
I hope the Muzak is not too annoying - but what would I be if I didn't tout my love of meatloaf?

And Anonymous - thanks for the awesome idea. I'll have to see if I can get G-man's buy in. Although he is of the opinion that I am a lazy ass (who isn't compared to him?) so he may not cooperate; in fact, I can picture him causing me some trouble - like having me sit out a few practices being lazier than usual - damn know it all kids...