All the bitching I do about management at Peyton PHlaCe....
I have to say, right now my direct supervisor is noone to bitch about....
For the most part....
Noone is perfect, right?
MCM is supportive of my WFH philosophy which is a big plus in my book.
MCM is a working manager....
And MCM actually backs us up when others try to knock us down...
At least when MCM believes we deserve to be backed up....
Which is most of the time....
One of my biggest fears right now is that MCM will be raked over by one of the other managers at her level...
Because if she looks bad, they look better, right?
And then I am back working for one of THEM....
So this week is "rank your people" week at Peyton PHlaCe....
All the managers/supervisors are off-site ranking their underlings...
And FPMs are ranking those who have worked on their Ps....
Coincidentally, or not, I received an email this morning asking me if I trusted upper management...
Apparently. a recent survey indicated that not a sufficient number of people trusted upper managemnent to make upper management happy....
So they decided to ask us individually...
Anonomously, of course...
Of course....
Of course, me being me, I replied that I did not trust the guys at the top...
So...next question....
Why Not????
Ok....they asked for it....
And they got it...
MHO that is....
Why would I trust a management system that fosters competition and backstabbing in the workplace????
Why do managers have to rank their subordinates?
A simple "I would/would not keep her/him" seems to me to be sufficient ranking criteria....
Knowing that someone in your group has to be ranked 1 = lowest does not seem good for morale....
Personally, I would hope that everyone on my team deserves a 4 or 5 ranking....
And not a 4 or 5 that they are the best on the team...
But that they know what they are doing and are doing their best to do things right.
That way, I know they are doing their job....
And that makes my job easier...
Yeah, I wrote that.....
Because, as it stands now, instead of trusting that my coworkers are doing a good job, my coworkers are regularly looking over my shoulder....
Trying to catch me in mistakes....
Because if I get caught in more mistakes than they do....
Well, its all about the rankings...
Nothing personal...
Well, unfortunately for me, I am not trying to catch their mistakes...
I am too busy making my own....
Gotta love office politics....
Ok, new resolution for 2011:
Find a way to work for myself.....
Dear upper management at Peyton PHlace,
Every single email I get from you insists that I "go green" and print less....
I can understand that edict...
I rarely use your printers....
So when I received your recent email with an attached "newsy" brochure, I read it - on-line....
It was semi-interesting....
But, can you tell me why you felt the need to place a hard copy of that same brochure in my company mail box today?
And not just my mail box - but the mailbox of every f-in employee at this campus????
There were twelve - count 'em 12, pages of full color "news" printed on glossy card stock paper....
Not easily recyclable...
How green is that????
I am not a tree hugger per se...
But - for the love of God...practice what you preach!!!!
And thanks for sending the Benefits Enrollment Brochure to my home this week as well...
Thanks for assuming that I may have had a lil trouble reading that full color brochure on-line....
And for assuming that I am probably not technically literate enough to know how to "Print" a page or two had I really wanted a hard copy...
And for assuming I would not pick it up from my office mailbox ('cuz it was there,too)....
I bet if you had not had that printed you would not have had to up my benefits' rates 14%....
Could you at least offer a paper opt-out plan for this shit????
I hear your constant droning on about how we need to cut costs....
I understand...
I am trying to do that myself.....
Of course, I am pretty sure there was not a lot of cost cutting practiced at your week long management meeting in Europe....
Or at the week-long sales meeting in Orlando (er... Disney World) earlier this year....
But I digress....
Just Go Green!
Note to my readers: This letter seemed to be the least self-destructive action of all those I concocted to let Peyton PHlaCe know how I feel on this subject...
I think I have it figured out....
The nastier you are to those who work with and for you...
And the more you point out what they do wrong and how you could do it better if only you were given the chance....
The better you look in the eyes of upper management..
And the more kudos you get in the form of reward points and pay increases...
Lucky I do not care how I look to upper management....
Unfortunately, the pay increase would be a blessing...
So I am practicing...
Shitting on people...
I am not very good at it...
Any advice?
So management recently sent out a survey about helath benefits for the next year...
One of the questions asked:
Would you be willing to follow a program to reduce the cost of your health insurance premiums?
You mean a Peyton PHlaCe Activity Monitor program????
Sure, no problem...
We all know how that works...
Throw it in the dryer for 18-20 mins on low and you have reached your goal for the day.
Dryer on the fritz?
No problem....
Let you cat wear it around its neck while you chase it with a laser pen....
No cat????
No problem....
Twirl it like a set of car keys as you watch your favorite show....
Or as you sit in that long-ass meeting about the state of the company....
Life is good...
So Peyton PHlaCe has a new product that I - as a lucky employee - can obtain free of charge. This product monitors my activity level and thus my my calorie expenditure.
This nifty little monitoring device dangles close to my heart on a fashionable leather necklace...
And it comes with software and a USB interface for easy data synchronization...(they are watching).
I decided when the offer to be a guinea pig for this device came knocking on my cubicle, I had best take advantage. You see, on my last performance review, my boss (who I really love - but who lives on the other side of the country and has no f-ing clue how I spend my off hours) wanted to include as one of my goals for this year that I start an exercise program...
Hmmmm...okay....how about I start going to Bally's three more f-ing days a week...maybe, say, twice a day, 3 hours at a time...am I too fat for you? Ohhhh, I see...you think I'd feel better. I'll tell ya what would make me feel better...but I might get fired...
Deep breaths....
Yeah....so anyway...I ordered the monitor and installed the software and read the user manual....
The first eight days are a baseline period...sort of an evaluation.
So, how do I want to play this? Well I "forgot" to wear my monitor most of the first week...I would forget to put it on in the morning and remember to put it on when I was sitting down to watch TV or read a book or blog.
And who knew the damn thing was waterproof? Not me...so I took it off when I went swimming - the only actual exercise I do....
Since the monitor measures total body movement...well you get the picture...
You are like David. David works long hours and drives everywhere. Your goal is to increase your calorie expenditure to 399 calories per day.
Hmmm...David was looking pretty hot in his picture. I am ok being like David.
But I do have a mid-year performance appraisal coming up, so I had better try to pull this off....
Now that I am almost done with the first week of real monitoring, I am a model student - heck yeah...I am #1 (out of a zillion - cuz every PHC employee around the world has one of these toys).
I get up to pee...I have done 200% of what I did during the eval time and I have burned 20% of my calories. OK, now for a run up the steps.......ding...ding...ding...100% of my goal...I can take the rest of the day off....
And blog:)
I wonder if they need someone to try out the newest version of the defibrillator...
John Kevin, you play dead and I'll try to restart your heart....ooops, I missed.
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