Note that I have never done anything like this...
More so because I have not had the opportunity than because I would not...
I am not quite sure what I would do, given the opportunity...
But I digress...
On with the tale...
She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.
On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.
On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by
candle-light, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of
shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of spring-water .
When she had finished dining, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar into the hollow of the curtain rods.
She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.
When her ex-husband returned with his new girlfriend to live in their house...
All was bliss for the first few days...
Then slowly, the house began to smell...
They tried everything; cleaning, mopping and airing the place out .
Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steam cleaned .
Air fresheners were hung everywhere.
Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters; they had to move out for a few days during the extermination.
They paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.
All their efforts were in vain!!!
People stopped coming over to visit.
Repairmen refused to work in the house.
The maid quit.
Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to sell the house ans move.
A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house.
Word got out and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls.
They ended up having to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place because they could no longer stand to live in the home while they waited for it to sell.
It was around this time that she called her ex-husband and asked how things were going...
He told her the saga of the rotting house.
She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back.
Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day.
She agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork.
A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving
company pack everything to take to their new home.........
And to spite the ex-wife, they even took the curtain rods!!!!!!