Friday, January 23, 2009

From the mouths of pups...

Dear God:

Is it on purpose our names are the same, only reversed?

Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?

When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?

If a Dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad Dog?

Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

I am trying to be a good dog, but there is so much to remember....


The litter box is not a cookie jar.
The sofa is not a 'face towel'.
The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
Dad does not like when I play tug-of-war with his underwear when he's on the toilet.
Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of
saying 'hello'.
I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.
I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.
I should not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.
I shoiuld not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my
crotch.
The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.


And one more thing, if I am good enough to get to doggie heaven, may I have my testicles back?

No comments: