Saturday, July 18, 2009

Better a few extra pounds...

So I took G-Man in for his sports physical last night.

As we are leaving the house together...


G-Man: Let's take separate cars, ok?

Me: Why??? You embarrassed to be seen with me?

G-Man: It's not that...I...uh...have plans afterward.

As I am driving there by myself I am thinking that I should have called and found out if I even needed to be there...I mean I paid up front and I signed all the forms....

But now I am there and look, so is half of the football team and their parents. Guess it is a good thing I showed so I would not once again be the bad mommy of the group. He's only 17 you know...

So as we leave and go our separate ways, I decide to hook up with a former neighbor to get some dinner.

As I am sitting there enjoying my terriyaki chicken sandwich with pineapple and onion rings and a tall Killian's Red, she is telling me about her latest predicament.


Her: I have been really eating healthy, Phillipia. I have been having toast or oatmeal for breakfast, tuna or grilled chicken for lunch and tomatos for dinner...

Me: Just tomatos?

Her: Well, with a lil olive oil and onion and basil.

Me: Just tuna?

Her: On a few crackers.

Me: I could not survive.

Her: Sure ya could. I have cut out beer and alcohol, too.

Me: Well that's gonna cut this evening short....

Her: I have lost 16 pounds since I last saw you.

Me: I can tell. You are looking good.

Her: Oh hell no I am not. Do not lie to me. Look at this skin hanging off my arms and under my chin. No one warned me about this...

Me: Okay, then...

Her: I'm telling you, this diet should come with a flab shrinker or something. Don't go on a diet, Phillippia, you look better with a few extra pounds than a lot of flabby skin.

No problem here...

5 comments:

CatLadyLarew said...

Precisely why I refrain from dieting! I don't need those flying squirrel arms!

Scott Free said...

Makes me glad I ain't a woman.

Phillipia said...

CL: No flying squirrel arms for me - even if I have to eat my way out of them:)

Scott: You mean guys do not get flying squirrel arms?...damn.

JennyMac said...

"well thats going to cut the evening short..."

HAHAHA..

C. Andres Alderete said...

You should have told her, "YOU look better with a few extra pounds!" and stomped off.