When I was your age, I could stand upright...

Office Man's Top 20 Explanations of What Happened

1. I was drunk.
2. I fell off my segway.
3. I was filling in on the Olympic beach volleyball team.
4. I fell climbing a tree.
5. I tripped over a curb.
6. They dropped me when I was being passed around at the AC/DC concert.
7. I knocked over a row of bikes when I parked mine at a biker bar.
8. I was standing between Estelle and Vin.
9. My wife likes it rough.
10. Railroad tracks…
11. I got a ride to work with Joe Kulesh.
12. The Nigerian…what the f….my name is GARY, that’s G…
13. Dom tried to have his with way my daughter…
14. I joined Bally’s.
15. I was practicing for my upcoming Spiderman role…
16. I got old.
17. I fell bungee jumping.
18. I was showing the kids my breakdancing skills.
19. I was trying out for the new jackass movie.
20. I was trying out for a gig at Chippendale’s.