Nothing has been working...
I walk over 2 miles a day...
I swim at Bally's at least three times a week...
But I am still gaining weight...
If I were not so old, I would think I was prego; hey, if immaculate conception worked for Virgin Mary it could work for Mary Phillipia...
So, after a little research I am about to start a new routine....
I am going to Pole Dance my way to fitness...oh yeah...
Just think - I get to wear hot pants and stilettos (the recommended attire) while learning to climb the pole, swing on it, twirl around it, and make pleasure faces that say I want you in my pants....
Hot pants are a must so I can grip the pole with my bare legs. ..
Stilettos are required in order to master strutting my stuff...
The curriculum includes lessons on strip-tease and table dancing...
So not only will I get fit and have fun, I will have the skills for a new career if I get let go from my current position...
9 hours ago
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10 comments:
Great news. Not only is having a fallback career clever, but by sheer dint of having those skills you may persuade boyfriends to stuff $50 notes down your bra.
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Rosie: I could sure use $50:)
Collegegirl: Thanks for the visit, vote, and referrals. I did visit your blog and voted...
Actually, I hear the pole dance is an AMAZING work out. Plus as you said, the bonus of added skills. Who hasn't wanted to twirl their way ass-up down a pole?
I just wish I was in good enough shape that anyone would want to see my...forget it - noone wants to see that...I need to install a pole at home:)
Any plans for how you're going to explain the hot pants, stilettos and pole to your kids, once you get the pole installed in your home? I'm afraid the small change they get for allowance will probably fall out of your bra when they show their appreciation for your efforts.
Sincerely,
Cat Lady
Actually this could work in my favor since G-man is 17 and no longer gets an allowance - unless you consider food, clothing, athletic fees, etc an allowance...The pole installation and thoughts of me using it will surely embarrass him so much I will not have to worry about parties when I am gone for the weekend...oh wait...that might backfire...let me rethink this...
HAHA, I love this...you mean you DON'T trust your 17 year old teenage boy to not give that fun new toy a try with his girlfriend (for starters) when you're away? .. tsk tsk tsk.. didn't anyone ever talk to you about blind trust? ;)
Blind trust...what's that...trusting the blind? Or being blindsided while trusting in someone? That I know about:( ugh...men are jerks...but I digress...
Ummmm.... all of the above... the blind are very trustworthy... men? LOLLLOLz... come one, we both live in the real world... oh shit, did I say that?? shhhshshshhhhh
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