Peyton PHlace Politics...

It gets worse everyday....

But I love my new office space...

Away from everyone...

So I do not hear their politicking...

Put in my earphones...

And ride away with Meat Loaf into hell...

or Run with Bruce....

A couple of project managers who's office space is a short distance from mine have found another way to dispel their stress.

They have squeezed a putting green in their small space.

They do get a lot of shit for this...

But I say it is better to hit the golf ball then someone else's.

And I have learned to use a 7-iron....

Probably not the way it was intended....

Good Things Happen...

When you happen to be sitting at your desk...

With your email open....

When you receive an email from your boss asking who needs a new computer...

Yessss! I am getting a new computer...

Luckily mine was fast enough to be one of the first two to respond:)

'Cuz there was only room in the budget for two....

Those slower computers will never get replaced...

I've decided...

Reese's Peanut Butter Eggs are a lot like coke....

As long as you do not start eating or snorting things are just fine...

But once you start...

You cannot stop until your whole supply is gone...

And then...

You run out and hit up the local suppliers to score some more...

And it starts over....

Not that I have ever snorted coke...

I read about that part somewhere...

But I have been strung out on Reeses's ...

I cannot lie about that...

How's Buddy????

I was chatting with LDBoy and he asked about Buddy...

LDBoy: Does G-Man play with him when he gets home from school?
Me: Not really, Buddy does not seem to like to play much.
LDBoy: He likes to sleep, eh?
Me: Yeah - a lot.
LDBoy: oh well...
Me: Did he play more for you?
LDBoy: only after he poops
Me: oh - that explains some stuff

Buddy he is always so excited after he poops....

I figured he just wanted a treat...

And to that I say:

You pooped....we all do that and we do it in the toilet..


Apparently, he likes to  play after he poops.

It must give him a burst of energy getting rid of that extra weight...

He does have some might big poops...
Maybe I  will try the rope tug or the ring pull game again next time he poops...

The treats are jsut making him fat anyway.

Kids say the damndest things...

Even at G-Mans' age....

We just finished Easter dinner and my Mom asks G-Man if he helped cook...

He replied honestly...

G-Man: No. 
Mom: Oh, what did you do while your Mom was cooking.
G-Man: I went to Church.
Mom: Well, I'm sure your Mom went to Church, too.
G-Man: No....
Mom: Phip, you didn't go to Church?
G-Man: She says she went enough while she was growing up to last a life time...
Phip: What he said....
Mom: What???
Phip: Hey, somebody had to stay home and cook this awesome dinner, cause the loaves and fishes trick just wasn't working....
G-Man: So how 'bout them Cavs?

Grounded for Life, G-Man, Grounded for Life....

I am not religious, but...

But G-Man, I did not bring you up to enjoy playing that part so well...

I know it was a re-enactment, but it made me cry.

I guess I should back up....

Last weekend G-Man participated in parts of the Life Teen Spring retreat.

When he told me he wanted to go, I told him he had to make some choices, because I just could not afford another retreat and all the other stuff he wants/needs for Track and pre-college stuff...

But "they" wanted him there...so much that they told him to not worry about paying and to just show up when he could...

So he did....

And he got himself into a role of a guard for a re-enactment of the Live Stations of the Cross...

And he enjoyed it so much that he volunteered to do it again on Good Friday at a parish about 30 miles from home.

The stations of the cross was always one of my least favorite church services growing up.  My parents, on the other hand, seemed to enjoy them tremendously, because I remember being dragged to them quite often - more than the usual once a year Good Friday edition.

Being the supportive Mom I am, I decided to go to this re-enactment that G-Man got himslef into.

I got directions on line that seemed simple enough - but the printer was not cooperating so I went with them in my own Garmon (i.e, in my head).

Well apparently my head does not work so well anymore....

I was driving around Newbury in the dark for a good 45 minutes looking for this Church....

After a phone call to Ames' mom who had her husband google it and relay the right directions to me, I found it....

Right where it should have been...

And I got there just in time to miss the inside church adoration part and to hear the leader saying "step outside folks for the Live Stations"....

I have to admit, the kids did an awesome job.

I was crying just watching my son and his friend beating Jesus.

But they also put together some background info that was interesting and gave the stations some meaning in today's world.

It was definitely not the way I remembered them....

Easter Wisdom

Don't put all of your eggs in one basket.

Walk softly and carry a big carrot.

Everyone needs a friend who is all ears.

There's no such thing as too much candy.

All work and no play can make you a basket case.

A cute little tail attracts a lot of attention.

Everyone is entitled to a bad hare day.

Let happy thoughts multiply like rabbits.

Some body parts should be floppy.

Keep your paws off other people's jellybeans.

The grass is always greener in someone else's basket.

An Easter bonnet can tame even the wildest hare.

To show your true colors you have to come out of your shell.

The best things in life are still sweet and gooey!

It is public knowledge now....

So a friend told me something a few months ago that he wanted me to keep quiet about for awhile...

So I did...

I pushed it right out of my mind because I am not good at keeping secrets.

Yesterday I got a text from him...

Him: It is public knowledge now...do you know what I mean???
Me: Is what public knowledge???? What did I miss???

Yeah....

I had completely put it out of my mind....

And I read his text wrong...

I thought he was asking me if something was public knowledge...

And knowing that I know him through G-Man, I got worried.... 

What did G-man tell him that he has not told me????

All sorts of things went through my head....

None of them too comforting...

Him: I applied for the position...
Me:  Oh, yeah, that.  Good Luck!

Being G-Man's Mom is scary stuff at times....

Happy Holiday!

I love long weekends.


And today is Great Friday....


That's right, not just good, but great....


It is payday and a holy holiday....


And the start of a long weekend....




And it is suuny out...


Maybe I will try to take Buddy for a walk...


Try is the key word here, because if Buddy decides not to walk...


Buddy, the big baby Pit Bull I am sitting is a great dog.


Most of the time.


He is good to walk with...


Most of the time...


He does not pull me - he actually heels when I tell him to...


He does not bark at strangers - when we are walking. When we are sitting in the living room and someone comes within 200 hards of the locked front door, he goes ballistic. But I digress...


Back to the walking...


Or not walking....


Every so often on our walks, Buddy decides he just wants to stop...


So he does...


No amount of cajoling or threatening or commanding gets him to move...


Untill he is ready to move...


And then only in the direction that he is ready to move in...


Which is usually not forward...


It is not like he stops at the same place all the time either; otherwise, I could avoid that part of the walk...


Someday I know I am going to be a mile or two from home and Buddy is going to decide he is done walking...


In any direction...


And there he will sit...


Because I am not carrying his ass anywhere....


And no after-walk treats for you, Buddy, if you cannot make it the whole way without stopping for a bit...


CareBear says you are fat anyway...


Fat and happy:)

Hellooo.....

I amthe first to admit that I am not hardware savy...

I just keep proving it to myself over and over....

Proof #1:

Last evening I was wanting to play my IPod in the sound system LDBoy left at my condo...

Too bad it was not all set up to play the damn thing...

Oh, but look, a remote...

Damn...remotes are hardware, too.

Ok, so let's forget the sound system and just play my music through the IPod's built-in speakers.

Too late...I totally corrupted the thing...

It was set to Bruce's Hungry Heart and would not budge...

It took me a couple hours to figure out what to do so I could listen to my music again...

But....once I thought to Google it...I was smokin'...

I am internet savy...at least more so than I am with hardware...

Proof #2:

Today I was working away and just happened to pick up my cell and noticed I had missed a call.

Not sure why I did not hear it ring, but whatever...

I returned the call - or tied to, at least.

I was talking, but nooone was answering...

I look at the display and the call is in progress....

What the heck???

Hellooooo.....

As I am hanging up, I get another call and try to answer...

And then I see the light...

The little flashing blue light on my bluetooth headset which is sitting on the table...

Proof #3:

And just a few seconds ago, I broke my retractable mouse...

Just pulled that cord right out of its wheel...

So now my mouse does not retract...

Sort of like G-Man's balls...

But that's another story - that I probably will not be telling...

So....

How many bitches bitching about a bastard does it take????

I have posted about AFAFAC a few times...

Probably changed his name a bit to keep y'all guessing who he is because...

Well you never know who reads this....

But anyway, this contracting co-worker gets more arrogant everyday...

Pontificating about how things SHOULD be done...

And proclaiming that he is the master at his trade and all decisions about his work are his alone....

Yeah, I'd like to trade him...

For a monkey...

At least I could have fun with the monkey...

Or have fun watching the monkey...

The monkey would get just as much work done I am sure...

Maybe scratch his butt a little more...

Just yesterday, Ms OSBL asked me if I would like AFAFAC to help me with a project because AFAFAC was not sure I could get it done on time.

NOOOOOO!!!!!

I mean, no thank you....

I will not work with that arrogant bastard.

I am just now fixing up work that I thought he had taken care of....

He needs to do his own work and quit harrassing everyone else...

I mean, no thank you...

I am pretty damn sure I can finish this myself or find someone more qualified to help...

Okay, done ranting for the day...

NO SPEAKAH DE ENGLISH

One of my best friends sent this in an email and I thought it was too good not to share:)
A bus stops and two older Italian gentlemen get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation...


A lady sitting next to them ignores them at first, but her attention is drawn when she hears what one of them is telling his friend:

Emma come first.


Den I come.


Den two asses come together..


I come once-a-more!


Two asses, they come together again.


I come again and pee twice.


Then I come one lasta time.

The lady can't take it anymore...

There are some kids on this bus, afterall...

Lady: You foul-mouthed sex obsessed pig! In this country, we do not speak aloud in public places about our sex lives!


Italian Gentleman: Hey, coola down lady. Who talkin' abouta sex? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell ' Mississippi .'

Yeah, I had to go back and re-read....

I'll take that....

Friday night was girls' night at CareBear's...

Lucky me  - I am a girl:)

What a fun time....

The night started off with a trip to Lowe's to pick out knobs for CareBear's kitchen cupboards....

A little background on that....

CareBear and KB have moved into the house Grandma Lora lived in and passed on to her son and daughter - CareBear's Dad (the ex) and Aunt.

I bitch a lot about the ex - but that whole family has some issues....

Last week Auntie was in town to get some stuff out of the house that she wanted....

Apparently she wanted the knobs off of the kitchen cupboards (all 50 knobs) and the flatware right out of the kitchen drawers....

Flatware...NOT silverware...NOT anything special....

Oh, and the drinking glasses...

NOT wine glasses or anything special...

So, after Lowe's we hit up Target for flatware and glassware....

'Cuz we needed something to eat our Taco Bell with and drink our beer from....

Luckily Auntie is a born-again, so she left the shotglasses alone....

G-Man is a sweetheart at times.....

G-Man surprised me Thursday evening...


He has heard me mention that I would like an Ipod...


Out of the blue he used his Papa John tip money to purchase an blue 8g Ipod Nano for his dear old Mom...

G-Man: See, I do listen when you talk, Mom.
Me: Awww....but you should not be spending your money on me....
G-Man: You buy me all kinds of stuff ...
Me: You are my son....
G-Man: And you are my Mom...
Me: You know you are still grounded, right?
G-Man: Damn...

Yeah...that's it...

So G-Man is not the best of students...

He gets bored very easily...

He needs a challenge...

He has missed enough classes this year that he needs a doctor's note to have any more missed days be excused...

Okay, he has not really missed THAT many, but they tightened up the rules a bit this year to put a damper on truancy in the district.

Being 18 and all, he does not see how that applies to him.

But Mom does not want to deal with it so she has put forth an edict: YOU WILL NOT MISS ANY MORE SCHOOL UNLESS YOU HAVE A DOCTOR'S EXCUSE!!!!!

This week being OGT testing week, and G-Man not needing to be there in the morning for that, has decided that he does not need to be at school at all. 

I take that back - Monday, he followed the schedule like a good student.

Tuesday he called off his afternoon classes (at another location) by claiming that the OGT schedule has him at his home school in the afternoon.  True - I give him that.

Wednesday, I get a call from the school that he is not in class:

Attendance Lady: Phillipia, G-Man is not in class. He called earlier and said he had OGT's today, but his home school says he should be here.
Phillipia:  He does not have OGT's.  I will check on him....(I will KILL him)...

Then I saw the light - it is Green Day....

Yeah, G-Man decided to celebrate with his buds  - Irish style...

And he did not bother to ask me because, well, see edict above....

A few not so polite phone calls later, he knew he was in deep shit...

GROUNDED FOR LIFE....

Thursday, he had a doctor's appointment for a nagging football injury (aka pulled groin)...

I went with him to the apppointment because he asked me to...

As he comes out of the doctor's office, he has a huge smirk on his face...

G-Man: So Mom, you said I could not miss school without a doctor's note, right?
Mom: Yeah.....
G-Man: Well, here it is...and look at the dates...
Mom (reading): How the F$%# did you pull that off?

Yeah, G-Man of the persuasive personality, has a note that says he has been under doctor's care YESTERDAY, WEDNESDAY MARCH 17th & TODAY....

What the F????

G-Man: So I am not grounded any more, right.
Mom: NOOOO! I mean YES, you are grounded.  You did not have the note yesterday.
G-Man: How was I supposed to get a note before I went to the doctor???
Mom: You know what I mean...
G-Man: You're just jeaous, Mom...
Mom: Of what???
G-Man: 'Cuz you could not get away with this shit when you were in school...

Yeah, that's it....

May your coffee be Irish...

Here's to you and yours...

And to mine and ours...

And if mine and ours ever come across you and yours,

I hope you and yours will do as much for mine and ours

As mine and ours have done for you and yours!

Happy St. Patty's Day!

Last week was a trip...

Wow...these posts are getting farther and farther apart...


What can I say??? 


I have been busy...really!


Last Tuesday evening, I bid goodbye to LDBoy as he headed for Belize...


To live...what a life...


I am not ashamed to say that I am jealous...


And I am waiting for that promised ticket, LDBoy...


You did promise, right?


I promise to not get in your way...


You will not even know I am there...


I had to say goodbye to Buddy (the Pitbull mascot of the Belize team) for a few days, too.


Thursday afternoon, I said goodbye to the sunshine of Cleveland and headed to cold, rainy Boston with G-Man and some of his Track teammates.


Now that was a trip....


10 High School Boys, 1 Coach, 2 Moms, and a Dad....


All in all in was a good trip, with just a few incidents....

• Before we left the airport, one runner realized that he did not have his uniform/warmups. No problem, we will share...somehow...

• While waiting for shuttles to the hotel, G-Man decides to take advantage of the available airport lobby seating...for the injured...
  Me (double-taking at the boy in the wheelchair): G-Man???
  G-Man: Yeah...
  Me: Ummmm. Get out of the wheelchair.
  G-Man: I can't...
  Me: What????
  G-Man: I was goofing around and fell and hurt my knee...
  Me: What???
  G-Man: Sorry...
  Me (looking at Coach): He was goofing around????.
  Coach: Yeah, goofing around...
  Me: OMG, G-Man, #$%* the %^$# you &*%$.
  G-Man: Mom, I'm kidding...
  Coach: OMG, Phillipia, I'm sorry - I meant he IS goofing around - now - with you..
  G-Man (laughing): Thanks, coach!
  Coach (smirking): Get out of the chair, G-Man...Quit giving your Mom a heart attack....

• The parents were staying at a different hotel than the team...which means we did not all get settled into our rooms until after midnight. Sorry, coach:)

That was day one.....

A tiring week...

I cannot believe the weekend is over...

I did not get nearly enough done...

Not nearly enough laundry...

Not nearly enough work...

Not nearly enough cleaning...

This whole last week has been an incredible drag...

I started to like my job better a few weeks ago....

And then this week it just got out of control...

Tempers were short...

Work is piling on too fast for any of us to keep up...

The incredible amount of red tape to get anything released is overwhelming...

I seem to take three steps forward and four steps back...

But this week is a short week for me.

I am heading to Boston Thursday afternoon with some of the G-Man's T&F teammates.

I am so looking forward to being away from the office.

Except that I am debating taking my work computer with me.

I am so far behind without taking three days PTO...

I could do a little catchup work in the evenings maybe...

Or at least keep caught up on my email so I do not have that to deal with when I get back...

But maybe not...

Anyway - I do want to apologize for being such a non-humor blogger lately...

Maybe I need to get back on my happy pills...

Thanks...I think...

So....

My manager at Peyton PHlaCe made sure I got a reward for all my hard work on a recent project...

I appreciate that...

What I do not appreciate is how Peyton PHlace now handles rewards...

You get rewarded in points...

You can use the points to purchase items from a catalog...

Overpriced items from a catalog...

Except for the Gift Cards...

A $100 American Express card is $100, right?

Except that you cannot turn it in for cash and you can only use it certain places...

But here's the kicker....

Once you choose and order your reward online, the dollar amount of the reward goes onto your next paycheck...

So...

My paycheck went down by 28% of the reward that I have not yet received (thank you USPS) and that I will only be able to use at certain places once I do receive it....

None of them grocery stores or utility companies (yeah, I was on the all-electric plan)....

The reward system is nice for those who do not count on every cent in their pay check to make ends meet...

But as for me, I say: Just show me the money!!!!

If you give me a $100 extra in my check, I know I may only see 72% of it but I am still $72 dollars ahead.

Now I have a gift card that I cannot spend on necessities and I am a few dollars short in my paycheck....

Oh well...

When life gives you a gift card...find a margarita bar:)

I have a tendency...

...to bring out the worst in folks....

On a side note...this is my 500th post - yay me:)

I had something totally different planned for this post, but f-it - I need to rant....

So hear goes....

I was working at the office today - first mistake of the day:)

Second mistake was letting one of our contractors get the better of me...

This particular contractor has gained a reputation around the office as AAFAC...

Yeah, I will let you have fun with that....

Anyway, AAFAC was having a conversation with FTSW (full-time, not f-in), going on about how he needed to use his files for a document that needed done next week....

Well the said document needs to build on the version FTSW is working on...

AAFAC: Well, I will just copy your files to my C: drive to work on them so I can release them.

FTSW: Well, I need to make sure these changes are in there.

AAFAC: I cannot wait - you are holding up this other project.

FTSW: There are a lot of other service docs that are ready to work on....

AAFAC: I told them we would do this one first and now I can't because it is not done like I thought so now our schedule is off

Phip - that's me:: Wait a minute....two things here...if you do not let FTSW finish making changes before he hands over the files, your files will not have the changes.

AAFAC: So, it's a different project...

Phip: Building on the same files; if our reviewers make changes on these files, they expect them to be in your files.

AAFAC: It's their job to review them.

Phip: You are messing with our credibility here...

AAFAC to FTSW (ignoring Phip):I'm copying the files to HCSW's hard drive.

Phip: I disagree with the concept, but if you are copying files from the network to anyone's C: drive to work on them, please indicate that on the newtork files, so we know that someone is working on them outside of the netwrok..

AAFAC: I do not have time for that....
Phip:It takes a sec and lets everyone know not to work on those files until they are copied back. It is our source control...
AAFAC: We have no source control....
Phip: Not open for discussion...please just mark the folders...

AAFAC: PHIP, DO YOUR OWN WORK AND MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!!!

Phip: THIS IS MY BUSINESS. I NEED TO RELEASE OUR FILES AND I NEED TO KNOW THAT THEY ARE CLEAN.

AAFAC: YOUR FILES ARE PRISTENE. I AM NOT TOUCHING THEM.

Phip: I NEED TO RELEASE YOUR FILES TOO...OUR DEPARTMENT. I BELIEVE OUR OSS ASKED ME TO UNDERSTAND AND GUIDE THE DEPARTMENT ON OUR FILE STRUCTURE.

Okay, third mistake...right there...

Assuming I understood my role...

Yeah, the caps are becasue we were loud...

In the office...

He started it...the yelling, that is...



Of course I emailed OSS to apprise her of the situation...


Apparently, I was out of line and need to apologize for....


For what????


For causing AAFAC to yell at me to mind my own business????


Apparently, when we are rushed it is ok to not follow protocol and I need to mend relations with AAFAC.


Now, OSS is a good boss for me...


I really wish she could see the office semantics rather than hear about them over the email wire...


For her own sake...


But I am done worrying about it....


I did apologize for being overly-aggressive in my concern for our file structure and for not understanding my role...


I will be working from home tomorrow...


Where I cannot hear what they are doing to our files....


I will just take what they give me and trust (ha - none of that left) that our contractors know what they are doing...


Have I mentioned how many times in the past that they have proven that they do not know what they are doing??????


Life at Peyton PHlaCe....


Just when things start to look up....


They come crashing down....


If only OSS were not so OS...


For the sake of our department...

Oh well....