Monday, January 4, 2010
How sad is this???
Friday, January 1, 2010
A fun goodbye to 2009!
But, I was not even around when the ice block exploded...really...
And I cannot take credit for this:

Or any of the other sculptors cut from the salvaged pieces...
I left Willoughby early yesterday afternoon and headed to Kent.
CareBear and I spent the afternoon making Hanky Panky (aka Shit on a Shingle), jello shots, crab dip, and watching "Hangover" until it was party time.
We made it to the Stone House in time to get a driveway parking spot so we did not have to park at the Church across the street and take the chance of getting towed or hearing an early morning impromtu sermon on the evils of having fun...
Yes Reverand Party Pooper, my head is telling me it was wrong...now move aside so I do not vomit on your church shoes...
Anyway, I think Jesus was there with us.
Because the water fountain started spouting champagne right around midnight...
The party was awesome....
I love celebrating New Year's Eve with friends and family.
I hosted for years, when the kids were all still young enough to not mind bringing in the New Year with Mom.
Of ourse, my parties were a lil less extravagant...
Okay, a lot less.
- I never had it catered with skewers of steak and chicken and stuffed musrooms and shrimp cocktail....
- I never hired a bartender...
- Or a DJ...
- Or a bouncer...
- I never had a trampoline full of balloons in my ballroom ....
- Or a fountain of champagne...
I did have a great time last night, at least what I remember of it...
And I do remember most of it...
Til about 2:00 AM anyway...
Then there is an 8-hour lapse....
Next thing I remember was waking up on the bathroom floor...
But it was the bathroom in the room I was staying in...
And I had my pillow and blanket in there with me...
I do not remember walking up the three flights of stairs to get to my room....
Or why I decided to make my bed in the bathroom...
But I am sure I had a good reason at the time...
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Happy New Year!!!


Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Note to self...
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Santa Writes Back...
Most times Santa acknowledges the treats.
With a thankful note from him and the Reindeer.
1987: I like free Toll House cookies.....
1991: Prancer says you sure have some good cookies....
1995: Vixen likes your balls...(I think he had to mean the Russian tea cakes)
2001: Rudolf wants the cherry blinks...
Christmas Eve 2005, the kids insisted I leave Santa hot chocolate...not one of their better ideas:
Did you guys ever hear of cup warmers??? Sheesh..
In 2006, we forgot to put out the milk and cookies and Santa had to go looking for them himself.
Actually, I am pretty sure I put the cookies out, but I think the kids were trying to pull something over on Santa. Santa was not impressed:
WHAT THE F#$@ ????
No cookies?
Do you NOT want anything from me???
Didn't you like what I left last year???
Or maybe I am too fat for you???
Ooops...
The house was a total mess when we woke up.
Cookie jars were tossed.
There were boot prints everywhere.
And deer droppings in the pantry.
I kid you not.
But Santa found himself some cookies...
And took all he found...
There was not a cookie left in the house for us to nibble on.
No Thank You in that note...
And not much left under the tree ...
Don't mess with Santa.
That was the last time the kids tried to hide Santa's cookies.
This year I decided to try to make up for that year and all the others that we were skimpy on Santa's treats for whatever reason.
I left Santa a nice plate of mint brownies, peanut butter fudge cookies, 7-layer magic cookies, a few rumballs, a pot of hot coffee with some Bailey's Irish Cream, and a Mon Avie Energy drink.
I am not sure if he liked the treats or not...
His note was a little tough to read....

Saturday, December 26, 2009
Sibling Rivalry...
LDBoy: Oooops...I forgot about these...I guess I will trash them...Whew...one less thing to do this next week!
ME: Noooooo....cookies and candies do keep well in the freezer....put them back...
...no dust or dirt...I was totally impressed and awed...
...no trash laying around from previous overnighters...
...no holes in the wall (don't ask)....
...no scuff marks on the wall....
...no crude drawings or poems on the wall size white board...
They picked up ...For five frickin' hours....
They vacuumed...
They scrubbed...
They painted....
Friday, December 25, 2009
It is a Merry Christmas Morning!
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Happy Holidays!!!

Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Lessons Learned....
They are also hosting Christmas Eve.
It will be fun I am sure...
After we get a few things taken care of...
Ya see, by the time Thanksgiving dinner was served and enjoyed, I was tired and decided I would ask LDBoy and G-Man to take over the clean-up duties...
First mistake...
Second mistake was not believing G-Man when he told me later that night that they had not even looked at what needed cleaned up.
After I left, apparently the boys enjoyed a few rounds on the trampoline and a whole lot of video games...
So when I stopped by earlier this week just to inventory what was leftover from Thanksgiving by way of non-perishables and to see what ovenware I had left there that I could use again...
Well, I found a whole lot more leftovers than I bargained for...
I had left 2 roasters there and figured I really only needed one for Christmas.
I found them both sitting out (not where I had left them) with the lids on them...
I flipped the lid on the one I was going to take....
Holy Green and Black and Ripe...WTF????
Well, you cooked the turkey in a bag - we thought the roasters were still clean...
Monday, December 21, 2009
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
I have a proposition...
Are they done yet????How about now???Where are they????
Oh, by the way. We have to release a version B of one of the documents in the kit.And we have to get it translated.And then we need you to rework all those kits you just released.And we need to not let this hold up the project.
So, let me get this straight.I rushed through hell and back to get this shit done on time...Ahead of time...So you could look good about releasing part of the project early...And now I have to do it all over again????
Well, yeah...
And you want me to do it right away...Before I do stuff for that other project that is now late because you got it bumped for your project?????
Well, yeah...I mean, if we get it done this week, we get our bonuses.So we want it done this week....We want our bounuses, right???
Oh, but you probably don't get a bonus, do you?
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Happy Endings...
Monday, December 14, 2009
Cougar Prowl
How appropriate.
No - I am not going to confess any of my past cougar prowls...
Just know that every one of them was unsuccessful...
Lucky for those guys....
'Cuz I had no clue what I was doing...
But I digress...
Friday evening I stopped off at the local Irish Pub to meet up with a football Mom.
We needed to make an exchange of sorts and how better than over a beer at one of the local hot spots?
Her son, QBBoy, who graduated a year behind CareBear and is somewhat of a local hero because of his high school and college football career, was there with a few of his friends.
As were a couple of G-Man's coaches and their wives....
And some other local talent...
The ghost of Christmas past showed up feeling pretty damn good and telling us about his colorful past and how he was looking forward to an adventurous future (by future, I mean the next few hours).
There was "Fuck You" man who could not seem to have a conversation with anyone that did not include several such salutations.
But the best was the cougar...
She kept playing the same song over and over and over on the jukebox...
Or trying to - I never knew there was a skip switch behind the bar...
Apparently she didn't either.
Anyway, Ms. cougar was hitting on QBBoy pretty damn hard.
Buying him fruity shots....
Hanging all over him at the juke box...
Is that you that keeps bumping my song, honey?Scaring the poor kid...
She did not look it, but she confessed to being a couple years older than I am...
Which is a few years older than QBBoy's Mom...
Well, cougar and I do have one thing in common...
She was not successful in her prowls, either...
At least not that night.
Mommas keep your babies close...
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Happy Merry Birthday...

I do feel bad for people with a birthday during the Christmas Season.
Especially kids...
Just forget about it...
If I do not celebrate a birthday, I can pretend it did not happen...
And that gives me another year to live...
And another year for you to have to put up with me:)
Saturday, December 12, 2009
From Balls to Bananas and Back Again...
CW1: My son has high balls, they they did not drop...CW2: You mean, undescended testes.CW1: Yeah, that's it.CW2: Hey that reminds me of something funny. I was getting cigs at the Circle K last night; the girl in front of me was buying condoms and whip cream...CW1: At a Circle K?CW2: Yeah, after she paid, she says, ooops hold on and then she runs to get a banana...one banana. She slams it down on the counter and looks at me and winks.CW1: They have bananas at Circle K?CW2: Yeah - they have a table of bananas - just bananans...no apples or pears....CW1: No need for apples or pears where she's going...CW3: Look what I just got from the party downstairs...ball stoppers.....CW2: What????CW3: I mean jingle balls...CW2: Did any of you take that mandatory sexual harrassment training yet?CW1: Haven't had time yet.CW3: No...what a waste.CW2: Well, I'm taking it now and I think we should all just agree that this conversation never happened.
Friday, December 11, 2009
Taking the Bad with the Good...
It was cold out and I wanted to work from home...
But the Browns won last night...
And there are way too many Shittsburgh Peeler fans (THEM) at the local Peyton PHlace office...
So, yeah, I went in...
And made sure I mentioned the win in every conversation I had with one of THEM....
I actually found reasons to converse with ALL of THEM today...
Happy Friday:)
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Happy Holidays 2009!!!
I explain this to everyone in my email signature:
Happy Holidays 2009!!!
In an effort to GO GREEN and CHEAP,
please accept this email as your Christmas Card & Gift:)
So if I email you about anything between now and Christmas you get a greeting from me...
Otherwise....
But then again, you are my faithful readers and you deserve better than that.
So for you, I will share the card I received from my younger, jolly, brother....
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
When I grow up...Part II
Not sure why he needed that....
I taught him to drive a couple years ago....
What else is there to know???
Anyway...
He still has his one day every other week job at KFC.
Which works out well because the boss likes G-Man and puts up with his one day every other week crap....
So G-Man comes in the door and announces:
I have tomorrow off...from this job.
I am working at my other job tomorrow.
Damn, I never thought those words would be coming out of my mouth...
Music to my ears...
Keep singing, G-Man!
Thank you, Papa John.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
When I grow up...
Reporter: What do you want to be when you grow up?Well, G-man has made his dreams come true.
Smartass G-Man: A pizza delivery guy. (That didn't get printed)
Yes he is now officially a Papa John's delivery person.
Congrats G-Man.
You got your dream job...
Driving around town....
Bringing people happiness...
Listening to your favorite music....
Smiling at the girls...
And congrats to me, too.
Ya see, I know why G-Man was being a smart ass all those years ago...
He wanted to follow in his brother's footsteps.
LDBoy paid a lot a bills delivering for Pizza Hut and Marco's throughout the Akron area...
For quite a few years, until he decided to start working for himself...
The way I see it, G-Man just became a lil less high maintenance.
He will now be able to pay his own insurance and cell phone bill and put gas in his car....
And buy his own favorite pizza...seeing as he gets a 50% discount...
And maybe even save for that tattoo he is wanting so bad...
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Oh what fun...
Me: I will be there but I may need a few extra long breaks throughout the evening since men of steel will also be there....Coach: OK, no problem...just close your eyes when I am on stage....
Friday, December 4, 2009
Peyton PHlaCe updates...
I have a few co-workers who loves to announce when they finish a stage of a project in an email to everyone they know - especially their boss and boss's boss and VP and...
These are the same co-workers who like to run around and see who is not in the office in case they need them...
To that I say:
Mind your own fucking business - they was here five hours after you left
last night...
or
They gets more done at home in a day than you do in a week here minding
everyone else's....
But, today I stooped to their level ...
I sent out my own email...
Just wanted to let you all now that I just finished my morning bathroom
break. Everything came out fine. Thank you for allowing me the opportunity.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Piss on it....
I was disqualified from the
neighborhood best decorated house contest.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Dear 高収入アルバイト,
Why, you ask?
First, because I cannot read it....
Second, because I put it into a translator and I still could not understand it....
Not all of it anyway...
And just to be on the safe side, I am going to answer with a resounding NO to what I think you are asking...
NO, I am not interested in playing with your sex toys....
NO, I am not interested in being part of a research group about my increased sexual desires after playing with your toys or reading your paper....
NO, I am not interested in being a high priced street lady part-time....
And next time you leave a post, translate it for me, ok?
Especially since "pressing 1 for English" did not work so well....
Sincerely,
Phip
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Is Aging a Disease???

Monday, November 30, 2009
Another Death...
I first noticed last week that the computer was not always charging even when plugged in.
I fiddled with the cord a little and the computer started recharging.
For a while....
Fiddled again....
And again....
Pretty soon I was holding the cord at just the right angle in order to charge or even use the computer.
I got in the habit of propping the computer with a pillow so the cord was at just the right angle to allow charging overnight or whenever I was not using it.
And then - late last night - I unplugged the cord to relax in battery mode on the coach....
Or I tried to unplug it....
The lil end adapter decided to stay plugged in and I was left holding and end-less cord.
Not endless as in never-ending...
Endless, as in without the end.
So if my blogging is a little sporadic over the next few days while I am waiting for a replacement cord....
It could be because I am too tired after long work days to wait the 45 minutes for my company laptop to reboot so I can log into to my blog and facebook accounts which are not deemed company appropriate so I need to answer the "Yes I understand and wish to continue" dialog over and over....
You understand....
Sunday, November 29, 2009
RIP Mikey
The funeral will be next Wednesday - trash day in our end of Willoughby ...
I would have preferred a quick funeral but Mikey passed away after the 10:00 AM pick-up.
But if you know Phillipia, there is a lesson to be learned and an opportunity for adventure in everything...
With Mikey, it is easy enough to put stuffing and potatos and turkey in their neat places on a plate and warm them up....
But, with only the stove to work with, I prefer the one sauce-pan approach.
So I used the demise of Mikey as an opportunity to introduce G-Man to one of my favorite leftover concoctions.
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Who's on 44...

Open Apology
All 101 of you...
I love you...all of you...
For being my friend...
Lord knows, I need all the friends I can get.
So what am I apologizing for?...
For totally and consistently ignoring all your requests to send smiles and join causes and play games and join your Mafia wars and beat your high Bejeweled Blitz score and get rich in FarmVille...
I would beat your score you know...in no time at all..I kick butt at those games...
Because once I start to play, I play and play and play all day and all night until I do have the most fertile farm or get the golden nugget...
I may even miss a few days of work to beat the high score if I need to...
Yeah, I get addicted pretty quick...
Which is why I reject your invitations to play....
It really is nothing personal...
But I learned my lesson that one time when I was invited to try a line...
And keep up with the rest of the line-cutters....
Not sure if it is addiction or competitiveness that makes it hard for me to give up things once I start...
But I am not starting again...so quit asking, okay?
Unless, of course, you like rejection.
In that case, ask away:)
Friday, November 27, 2009
The Closer...
Well, not perfectly awesome because CareBear and KB were in Michigan visiting KB's family and since they have not figured out how to be on two places at once....
LDBoy and his housemates hosted. And what gracious hosts they were...
I made a couple of deserts and applesauce and sweet potato casserole Wednesday.
The plan was to get up early Thursday and get the Turkeys all ready and head to Akron in time to turn roasters on and make green bean casserole and gravy and pudding pie.
But instead I overslept....
Note to self - no matter how bad that earache hurts, avoid taking nightime cold meds at midnight when you want to get up at 6:00 am to prepare for a holiday dinner.
So I just gathered everything I needed and headed to the big house...(aka big stone
mansion LDBoy and housemates are renting in West Akron).
That ended up being the best decision of the week.
When I walked in LDBoy asked which kitchen I wanted to use. I opted for the basement...Great decision...I am on a roll....
So I set up near the industrial sized oven with the industrial sized fridge and freezer behind me and the awesome industrial sized counterspace.
And for the next three hours I sipped on wine and listened to holiday music piped in from somewhere...
And prepared turkeys and casseroles and desserts....and used the oven they had never even turned on before....
And NinjaAnnie was working in the upstairs kitchen making apple pie and pumpkin roll and cauliflower casserole and a mac n cheese casserole...
While LDBoy and RJ and Spike catered to our every need and kept or wine glasses topped off and set a beautiful table....
Me: Who folded the napkins?
Spike: Me.
Me: When and where did you learn to do that?
Spike: Five minutes ago - I googled it.

And after I was done cooking, I had my choice of powder rooms to freshen up in...
Hmmm, the jacuzzi room or the party shower room...it was a tough choice, especially sine I was short on time and could not enjoy the facilities as they were meant to be enjoyed...
When the guests arrived, the hosts made me proud. I love those guys.
Fiends and family together for a beautiful Thanksgiving Dinner...
Thank you, LDBoy, RJ, and Spike.
We'll be back for Christmas:)
I may just stay after Christmas...
Take my time checking out all the amenities...
Move on in...
I'll be discreet, you'll never know I'm there....
Especially since Boa and I get along ok...
LDboy: Ok, guys...the relatives have been here 3 hours now.
Spike: Yeah, how do we get them to leave?
LDBoy: RJ, what are you doing?
RJ: Hey, has anyone seen Boa?
Grandma: Who's Boa?
RJ: The 7-ft snake that was in that tank by the wall...
Grandpa: He got out????
Spike: Calm down everyone...he's here on the couch.
Grandma: It's way past my bedtime...
Grandpa: We need to go...
RJ: He looks hungry...
Dad: I'll get the car.
Boa, the closer.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Happy Thanksgiving!
Today and Everyday...
If you know me at all you know that my kids are my most precious blessing...
I am also thankful for my extended family....
And for my many friends....
My friends are the family that I have found along the way:)
But rather than get all mushy - I'll leave that to the potatoes and applesauce -
I just want to say....




